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is that a good thing or a bad thing...?
Chii
post Feb 7 2006, 01:23 AM
Post #1


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QUOTE(Chii @ Feb 7 2006, 12:34 AM)

a conversation between the adonis that has stolen my heart and me

you don't like valentine's day?:-(
don't love it, but don't hate it
its just there i gues

i didn't ask if you loved or hated it, i asked if you didn't like it
i do not not like it
so i like it i guess

would you rather not spend it with me?
and spend it at home picking my nose?
but you're only going to spend it with me because it would make me happy
and in turn i'll be happy that i made you happy

i'm not sure if the last line makes me happy or upset...

*

when i posted that, it got me really thinking...what does the last line ("and in turn i'll be happy that i made you happy") mean? or actually, a better question would be: is that a good thing or a bad thing? since duh, the statement itself is self explanatory.

here's a little background
the adonis and i have a little relationship. it's not boyfriend/girlfriend, it can be described as a friends with benefits thing but i hate that title. however it has been established that we are seeing each other.

he can't give me more, meaning he can't commit to me because he works 2.5ish jobs and we both have school. it also doesn't help that mommy dearest keeps me on a tight leash so, not only can we not see each other because of school and work, we don't even have that much time together when we can see each other because of my curfew. that is his excuse for not being my boyfriend. he claims that the feelings are there and time is the only major issue.

what makes me nervous is that what if he's just there because of the commitment-free benefits? and, yeah he has feelings for me but nothing is stopping him from picking up some chick at the club. he says he most likely won't because he already doesn't have too much time for me so how will he have time for another girl.

i'm not sure if age is too big of a deal. he's 21 and i'll be 18 later this month. we have known each other since he was 19 and i was 15 so it's not like he's some random guy who whistled at me on the street. (he will be 22 in may so it's a 4 year difference, not 3 as it appears).

we have been seeing each other for about 4 months.

now that i reflected on my, perhaps irrelevant information...does he really want to give me more? (he says that if he didn't like me he wouldn't bother seeing me on his only free days of the week.) and is "and in turn i'll be happy that i made you happy" supposed to be a good thing?

last question: am i reading into this way too much?

last, last question am i being too paranoid?

i have typed and retyped this post for like an hour >.<
 

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