emotional abuse, my friend Options

[KERP1UNK]

okay..when i say 'my friend' i REALLY do mean my friend..its not a way of saying that its me..okay but anyway

my friend's parents are really mean to her. they literally say she's not going anywhere in life, she needs to get over herself, blah blah blah, etc. etc...its really wearing down on her and she calls me all the time in tears. she says she's going to the school counselor and wants me to go with her, and i agreed to..but she keeps getting out of it because she is CONVINCED they are going to automatically 'take her away for her parents' or 'put her up for adoption' i have told her multiple times that this won't happen..but she refuses to believe me...
she doesnt do her homework, and thats a reason why her parents are mad at her too (grades) so every day her mom makes her do her homework and she even checks to make sure it is ALL done, emails her teachers, etc... and she turns in the homework but the teacher claims she 'didnt get any of it' and her mom believes her and punishes her by grounding her (its like shes NEVER not grounded) and says really mean things to her... i feel really really bad because im afraid she might go suicidal from all of this stres... plus her little sister is always talking crap about her and cussing at her..and she is the 'favored child' ..her parents always believe her .. i really don't know what to do and i'm scared for her... please help me <33

[*Programmer*]

wow...... it's not healthy...period you might want to tell the child abuse housing athuority what's going on..say she's suffering pshycological damage from her parents.....ask your friend first though.... wouldn't want you to do somthing rash if she didn't want you to...

[KERP1UNK]

^^what are you talking about? its not me..its my friend
haha i know that sounds like im making it up
but im not....

[NoSex]

Sounds like your friend doesn't like her parents and sucks at school.

[KERP1UNK]

^^she doesnt suck at school..
i think the way her parents treat her is making her
rebel by not doing her work..
cuz shes really smart..
even smarter than me

[NoSex]

^^she doesnt suck at school..
i think the way her parents treat her is making her
rebel by not doing her work..
cuz shes really smart..
even smarter than me

If she was really smart she would suck it up and finish her homework to get threw this mess. Realize that "rebeling" against homework won't get you anywehere.

[i_liek_sushi]

Uh.. why doesn't she just do her damn HW?

You're saying she does but her teachers lie to her mom and tells her she didn't do it? Yah, I doubt it.

[_sarcastic_]

tell her to start doing her homework properly?! i mean if that's one thing that will take her parents off her back, convince her to finish her homework.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

Report as verbal abuse!

[Paradox of Life]

Um. Welcome to LIFE. This happens to every teenage child. Maybe it's not the parents. Maybe this girl really does have a rotten attitude and deserves the emotional beating. Okay, maybe I'm being a bit tough, but growing up in an asian family where you're whipped for being bad, this isn't such a big deal. I deal with emotional abuse all the time. My parents tell me to f**k off and that they wish I was never born. Once, my parents even locked me out of the house. But then I realized, I did have a rotten attitude, and they were doing this, so I would learn. Talk to your friend about why her parents are doing this to her. It's not because they want to make her miserable.

[voguelove]

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit tough, but growing up in an asian family where you're whipped for being bad, this isn't such a big deal.

your parents whip you? isnt that abuse as well?



if you say that your friend doesnt do her hw and her teachers say she doesn't do her hw then it makes sense. her mom could be watching her while she does it but she may not be doing it all. if your friend tried really hard in school, im sure she'll do better. im asian, and im only saying asian because there's that "asian smart sterotype" that all asians are good at everything, but i was an exception. my grades weren't great but they weren't THAT bad in middle school and freshman year. i didn't find out until i was 15 (last year) that i suffer from ADD. im sure that my experiences with my dad were even worse than your friend. he yelled at me constantly telling me im not gonna make it to college. i worked my ass off just to try to do better in school without ADD medication. he also never let me go anywhere with friends. hell, i didn't hardly go anywhere last year except 3 trips to the movies. not to mention, i started going into depression after my 6 years of emotional abuse. (because my mom died when i was 9) the best way to end it all is for her to try and be perfect. perfect as a daughter, and perfect as a student. shit, its gonna be hard. and if she wants it, she can do it. it's great that you're worried about her but tell her start doing better in school. she needs to know that if she wants to leave her parents for college so she can escape them, she's gonna need to train for it.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Help her with her homework, and be there for her. If the teachers are "losing" the homework, its something she should take up with a higher authority. Just be there for her. As for her parents, its called tough love. Although it goes overboard sometimes, like then they tell her she wont be going anywhere, its tough love. She shouldnt rebel, and prove them right. She should push herself harder to succeed and prove them horribly wrong.

[NgocQuyen]

i think you should talk to her. just tell her that she needs to take some responcibility. i mean come on. just do your homework! tell her to stop trying to rebel against her parents words. why don't she do something about it? instead of crying. i'm sorry to sound mean but she doesn't need to feel sorry for herself. she needs to get up and do something. PROVE HER PARENTS WRONG. she needs to make something of herself. become who she wants to be. become what her parents think she wont become. be smart, be great. if she can prove her parents wrong she can always rub it in their faces when she's got all the riches...

[Chii]

your friend really does not want to do that rebellion thing...i've been there.

we've all probably been there. you know you're growing up when you hit puberty your parents try to be stricter so you won't get wild and party and have sex and etc. basically, they keep you on a leash so you won't ruin your life at a young age. however parents have to realize that they have to let go sometimes so you can experience life.

your friend needs to realize that if she doesn't get her act together and really focus on school, she's going to have to repeat it and have to endure more crap from her parents. although it does happen, i don't believe that there's some conspiracy between her parents and her teachers where they're both lying about her and the homework thing. why would a teacher lie and get away with it?

whether she likes it or not, she has to do her homework and projects and whatever. just maybe if she did something about what pisses her parents off, they'll shut up about it.


right now, i don't even know when i'm graduating and i will be 18 later this month. i started f*cking up in school in the 10th grade. and i freak out every few minutes about the SATs which i haven't taken, when will i graduate, why the hell did i put myself in ths situation, oh my god i'm going to be 18 and have nothing to show for it. your friend really does not want to end up like me.

[FoxBandCutie08]

Your friend needs to realize that her grades are very important, and while not being the only thing in her life, they will determine what jobs she gets and what college she gets into, blah blah blah. Basically, if she starts doing her homework and gets better grades, her parents might let up.

[The Name's Billy]

i know exactly what your friend is going through make sure she does not start cutting and tell her that its gona be ok cuz it is i promise tell her to try to avoid her sister or mom or whatever for as long as she can and to tell her counselor they will not take her away they wil try to help her and her parents i promise

[priyas]

maybe if she does her hw and gets betta grades her rents will be nicer.

[alphanumeric]

i am pissed >:[ that's the most fquacked up shizz i heard. and..i know how it feels :[

[ecargnmyst]

i think the reason she cant focus on her hw is b/c of her family problems..im in same situation as your friend and i know its tough..and ive been afraid to goto the counselour b/c i was afraid of the consequences..

but talking to a counselour or any teacher..they wont do anything like put ppl in jail until they talk it out w/ the parents first...however, i dont think some parents appreciate their kids going around getting them in trouble, so theyll prolly take out wtvr consequences on the kid..

altho ive been told to go to the counselour many times...i think that will only make things more complicated...what you can do as a friend is just tell her to wait it out until she graduates H.S. then go farr away from home. until then..she can only wait it out..and while waiting..just keep an eye out for her, take notice of any change in behavior, make sure she doesnt hurt herself. tell her to spend as much time away from home as possible, spend more time w/ friends to take her mind off the stuff. and if hw is causing her trouble, try to do as much hw as possible in school...b/c i know its really hard to concentrate in such an unfriendly environment w/ those parents.

and let out the stress in a creative outlet or use it as motivation to succeed in life and be above her parents. tell her dont let this experience bring her down and ruin her future =]

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

your parents whip you? isnt that abuse as well?

^ not in asian cultures, its not.

I agree with the others. Tell her to do her homework, that's probably one of the reasons why her parents tell her mean things.

[angel_teardr0pz]

it sounds so familiar...because it happens alot in SA countries where parents take education more important than their child's actual personal potential...