boyfriend advice Options

[LuvsDogs387]

Ok so I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss. When I talk with my friends and before I go to sleep at night I feel like I want a boyfriend. Someone of the opposite sex to be my friend and spend personal time with. I've had 3 opportunities to have a boyfriend and turned them all away because I'm scared. All 3 of them want to be this close *crosses fingers* right away. I'm the kind of person who needs to take time before I get close to someone. It took me about 2 years of pre-friendship before me and my now best friend actually became best friends. I'm just that kind of person where it takes a long time to earn my trust and just as long for me to actually want to hang out with you.

Right now one of my friends is trying to set me up with a guy. We all went on a double date to the movies and he seems really nice and we have a little in common. But that very night after I went home he started text messaging me and days after that too. I felt like I was being suffocated. I NEED my personal space. He’s nice and all but he's got a lot of problems, he's living with his friend (parents kicked him out), and he smokes cigarettes. I've got my own problems I don't know if I'm mentally strong enough right now to help someone else. Although I'm sure he'd help me with my own.

I'm also very shy; I'd feel embarrassed telling my mom I have a boyfriend. It’s because I've never had one and even though she’s pushed me to try and have a relationship for some reason I'd still feel embarrassed. Plus right now I don’t feel like dedicating a lot of my time to someone else. I’ve got my own problems here at home that I need to sort out; I don’t know if adding someone else to the mix is a good idea.

So my question is should I take a chance and try to see him again or wait until I know I'm ready. Am I being to cautious or am I just being smart knowing that I'm not ready for a relationship?

I really need some help; this has been driving me crazy.

[sabbyrina]

go for it. you're thinking to much. trust me. you're not marrying this guy, you're just going on like a second date with him. you don't need to analyze the whole situation. just go with the flow and things might actually work out :) and if not then oh well it was just a casual thing.

sorry i'll stop preaching now.

but yeah i think you should go for it.

[NgocQuyen]

Ok so I decided to wait and right now I'm more than ecstatic that I did.

I was talking to my friend today who tried to set me up and it turns out he’s a total jerk. Right after our first double date, and after I went home she said he was saying "I think I love her"  What a fruit to be saying something like that so fast. Also a few days after he was on the phone, one of those single chat lines, talking to other girls making plans and calling them "honey" and stuff. WTF? For starters you don’t go trying to date everyone you see in sight and secondly when your living with your friend and have no job you don't call those numbers...they are expensive!!!
He’s such an ass. I'm happy I called it off right away 

lols YAYY!!! good job friend! i am so proud of you! hehe i hope one day you do find that special someone though..and see? now you'll know that its better not to rush into things

[ParanoidAndroid]

You shouldn't go out with someone because you feel lonely or feel the obligation to go out with someone because of your age. Wait for a guy who you REALLY want to go out with. From your post, sounds like you don't like him that much. Might as well not go out with him.

[dorkk-ie]

tell him about ur problems. he may be able to help you out, as a friend..
if that works out.. then maybe u guys can take it a step further?
and its okay.. if u need time to build ur trust and stuff...everywuns different.
it's not bad to have a strong wall of trust, but try to be open to new things i guess.