WAT WOULD U DO Options

[insane_designs]

im jus wonderin wat u would do in this situation..

i met this one guy a while back in March of 2005... over spring break... we talked a bit on spring break (lives far away..outta state) and then when school started up we didn't talk for some time..finally he got ahold of me again and we have been going out eversince... the problem is the distance... and the fact that he uses his dad's cell and can't give me the number to call him

He used to call me everyday and we would always talk... (he's 18) but ever since he got this new job.its been less and less... it has been sometimes weeks that we don't talk... i miss him so much.. he constantly says he loves me and i say the same... yet he can't give me his number ... he has this great paying job, is in college, lives on campus, owns two cars (escalade and a truck) yet he can't buy himself a dang phone... so i can call him when i miss calls... wit the phone i have i get such bad reception at times that it won't come thru...or it will b so late that im in bed... i miss him so much that i save his voicemails and constantly replay them... i jus feel like i've been meetin him at least half way..and he isn't makin the greatest effort to do the same

he the greatest guy i've ever met and i don't wanna lose him to this distance thing...(lives in iowa)(im in wisconsin).. it has been about 9 months now and i've loved every minute of it...

i jus don't kno wat to do... i sit up at night..waitin for his calls (if he calls) i try not to fall asleep when he says he'll call at a certain time... i've stayed up till 4 am even tho i knew he wouldnt call me that late.... i jus wish he would put more effort into our relationship.... including us getting together in person...

i kno people say that online relationships don't last...but mine really isn't online ne more... i've taken it offline and can't help thinkin bout him... i can't help wantin him ... i have this feelin that he isn't like all the other guys i've dated..that he's special, he isn't the jerk and treats me like i was the only other one on earth

once he hasn't called since christmas eve..he left me a voice mail that night..he sang to me..i've kept it..and listened to it everday...sometimes more than once...

i wanna stay with him... and get together..and move our relationship forward.. i've wanted to talk to him about this..but when we do talk...that never seems to happen, we usually end up talkin bout something else...its not that im avoiding it...
its also that since he calls so late at time..he doesn't wanna talk for long cuz he has to get to bed himself...

i jus don't kno wat to do
i could use some help

[dahding]

if he can afford an escalade and a truck, he should be able to afford a phone.

online relationships generally don't last long.

neither do long distance relationships.

seeing as how there's a 3 year difference (am i right?) between u two, seems kind of a really long time to wait in order to get serious.

personally, i think it's not gonna pan out too well in the end.

but u seem to really like the guy, and maybe he does too in return. next chance u get, just grit ur teeth, and talk to him about this. explain how u feel, just like how u explained here. and ask for a legit reason why he doesn't just get a phone. if he keeps on beating around the bush and making up excuses, something's not right.

hope everything goes well.

-dustin

[LittleLulu]

ok you know what. i fell head over heels for an 18 year old college guy before too!!! HAH. did not go as well as i'd hoped. ( harvardians are too cocky and...well, they HAVE a reason to be cocky, but its still not nice)

mine wasn't onlin either. i met him in person first. randomely..on a plane.

but yeah, i thought he was smart and funny and all that. near perfection blah blah. But guess what? a few days before he was coming to visit me in witner break i found out he has a girlfriend. at his college. harvard. ughh. i felt crushed. seriously. i thought he was different. i thought he cared. i was just so naive.

well i guess the point in my story is, dont get your hopes up. with your age difference you're jailbait. hate to break it to you. i totaly understand how you feel...i know this isn't what you want to hear. but i've been there, done that. it didn't work for me. because of him. hes so busy with his college life. surrounded by college girls. don't you ever get worried?

i just say, its possible, but hard. keep yourself focused and try to be as realistic as possible.

[*krnxswat*]

From what I read, which is like the first three paragraphs, it's not going to work out. Stop wasting your time.

[illumineering]

Please come back to reality. This guy is not your boyfriend. You are setting yourself up for a huge psychological fall when you realize that he's not interested in you. Stop building such an unrealistic picture. Please!

[_sarcastic_]

Maybe you should just call it quits, it's going to fall apart sooner or later. you can't blame him for not calling you sometimes for weeks, he was college to attend to, and other activities. trust me long distance relationship is hard, you need ALOT of communication or else it's going to all come crashing down one time or another and trust of course.
it's best to stick with someone who lives around your area, at least you'll see him everyday.

it's weird how he can afford two cars and not afford a phone. but if you really like this guy so much, try working it out the next time he calls.

[*mipadi*]

Honey, I don't mean to sound cruel, but the reason he's not putting much effort into the relationship is because there is no relationship. He might be a really nice guy, but in this case, maybe it's better to keep him around as a friend, because he's clearly not that interested. You're a few years younger, and he's in college. College guys generally don't bother with high school girls unless the relationship had a good, solid foundation with which to begin. Furthermore, long-distance relationships are, more often than not, not worth it unless the parties were very committed before distance became an issue.

Get out of this "relationship" before you get hurt even more.

[Chii]

i'm sure i'm not the only one who thinks that he is a lying ass.

it would be impossible for him to have those expensive cars, attend college, have a job and yet not have a cell phone. these days, people like that need a cell phone and if he really did have all that, then he should be able to afford one.

you keep contradicting yourself. how can he treat you like the only other person on earth when you can't even call him, or actually get together with him? especially when you think that he needs to try harder to make the relationship work. those 9 months cannot be bliss filled if he's treating you this way. if you were honestly important to him, than in those 9 months he would have seen you and introduced you to his friends and definately have given you some kind of way to contact him.

greatest guy you ever me? impossible (unless he's the only guy you ever met), he doesn't exude and greatness at all. it's only in your head. take a good look at what he really is, an ass who's full of sh*t.

i think it's just all really shady. you should get out while you can before you really get in way too deep.

[anoniez]

I agree with Chii. This looks kinda shady =/ I understand your feelings for him and your desire to make it work out, but it really doesn't look like it's going to. He doesn't seem as interested in you as you are in him, unfortunately.

I would let it go. Find some nice guy your age =p who you'll be able to see every day. It sounds like you're wasting a lot of effort on this guy.. staying up til 4am for him even though he's not gonna call, listening to his voicemails over and over.. he's really taking advantage of you in this relationship. Do you think he does the same things you do? Or thinks about you as much as you think about him? I hate to say it, but it really doesn't seem like it. :( It looks like you're very dependent on him, "hooked" I would say - back off for awhile and try to see this objectively. Do you see you guys going anywhere in the future?

At least talk to him about how it doesn't seem like he's meeting you halfway. It sounds like this relationship isn't making you happy at all, what with all the waiting for him and thinking about him all the time when he doesn't call for weeks.

[nightowl89]

yeah the whole cell thing does seem a bit shady...try calling that number from another number he doen't know and see if he picks up.

Not seeing him for so long lets you make your own perfect version of him...remeber he is a person with faults. I mean look at the semi-decent guys aroudn you...thats probly what he's like most of the time, not the prince charming version his words may have created in you head. Do you know this guy's background, how he usually acts? Talk to him, but I would try to wean youself off of him...it may take time, but it sounds like this is getting unhealthy and non-benificial for you. I'm kinda in a similar situation...PM me if you need someone to talk to.

[babygurl_xtacy]

Move on, you'll find someone better. I was in a situation similar to yours and I thought I'll never let go of the guy, but I did and found someone better and you will too.

[FoxBandCutie08]

You deserve better, I mean he's obviously abusing you. He can afford that other stuff but he can't buy a cell phone to talk to you? I think you're just being used, I'm sorry but my advice is to move on.

[xaitlyn]

first of all, that almost exact thing happened to me. i loved this guy SO MUCH. but then one day i just decided that it was too much to deal with, so even tho i didnt want to, i dumped him, and i feel
SO MUCH BETTER.
i know you say you want to stay with him, but im sure you will feel better too if you do.

second..it sounds like hes lying to you. is it possible that he's cheating on you?
i dont mean to be like harsh or anything, it just sounds like a pretty bad situation to me...

but i hope you work it out

[TiffanyFactorial]

he can afford a phone. you better tell him all of what you feel straight up.
if he doesn't understand you, he's throwing everything you've ever had away.

i don't need to write an essay for you to understand what i'm saying. i really do hope for the best for you. you deserve it! :)

[KissMe2408]

First of all,
You said this guy is in college, has 2 nice trucks, and has a well paying job. AND HE DOESN"T HAVE A CELLPHONE? kinda shady don't you think? He certainly can afford it, and by college it's almost a necessity to have a cellphone by that time. I really don't get that part, but there are those "anti - cellphone" people out there, but i don't think he's one of them.
Distance is always hard, and most of the time it doesn't work out.
Also, understand that's he's in college and working. That takes a lot of time and energy.
If I were you, i would suspect him being with some other girl. I would talk about our relationship next time he calls.
I know you guys have been together for 9 months, but this relationship doesn't sound very fruitful or promising to you.
I don't want you to get hurt anymore, and when it comes to the point where you are asking other people for their opinion/help on this, then you know something isn't right.
I suggest you first talk to him about all this, and probably consider getting out of this relationship soon. As hard as that might be :(

[Dragonfly_babe]

Tell him to buy a damn cell phone! You shouldn't put yourself through all of this he lives soooo far away and he goes to college he's leading his own life now and you should focus on yours. Being in this "relationship" is only going to distract you and bring you stress. The relationship does not seem that deep anyways I mean you have been together for 9 months but have you guys ever really done anything? In order to truly know if u want to be with somoe u should spend lots of time with them getting to know them not just through phone calls. You should talk 2 him about this and see what he has to say.