My Catch-22, read up |
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 Dec 31 2005, 06:35 PM
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#1
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 ^_^  Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,141 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,466  |
It isn't often that I post anything pertaining to my relationships online, other than poking fun at my exes. And it certainly isn't often that I ask anyone for their input. However, I'm havign a hard time truly understanding females right now.
Here's the issue... My style, my swagger, my charm (if you may) all send signs to women that I am a 'sexual deviant' of sorts. From the most innocent bookworms to 35 year old women; they all seem to think I'm all about sowing my oats. Everything changes when I wont' go past flirting and then it dawns on these women that I actually want something substantial. As soon as they learn this, they're ghost. So, I find myself sometimes sleeping with women just to satisfy them. And no matter how good or bad it is, I'm still left with a feeling of utter disappointment because I'm longing for something that feels so out of reach. Is it so much to ask to find an intelligent, compassionate and well roudned woman that I can relate to and trust? I guess so. Input. |
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| *digital.fragrance* |
Dec 31 2005, 06:46 PM
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#2
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Definitely not. There are women out there that are what you want. You just have to find them in the right places - churches are great places to look. I'm part of one and I know that most women in them don't live for sex like you'retalking about. Watch how they dress. If it's modest, they usually don't spring for sex, but substance. Hope that helped.
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Dec 31 2005, 06:55 PM
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#3
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^_^ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,141 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,466 |
QUOTE(digital.fragrance @ Dec 31 2005, 5:46 PM) Definitely not. There are women out there that are what you want. You just have to find them in the right places - churches are great places to look. I'm part of one and I know that most women in them don't live for sex like you'retalking about. Watch how they dress. If it's modest, they usually don't spring for sex, but substance. Hope that helped.  I'm a Buddhist. I've met some the kinkiest women when I was a Christian. However, I see where you're going. |
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| *Zatanna* |
Dec 31 2005, 07:00 PM
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#4
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I wish I could answer all of your questions. But I'm the last person in the world that should be offering any type of advice or input as it relates to relationships.
(I have the opposite issue - guys don't generally approach me because they think I'm too cerebral and intense). Try volunteering in the community. The women there will more than likely be genuine. =) Bookstores are great as well. Depending on personality, it might not be a bad place to meet someone. |
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Dec 31 2005, 07:12 PM
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#5
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^_^ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,141 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,466 |
QUOTE(Zatanna @ Dec 31 2005, 6:00 PM) I wish I could answer all of your questions. But I'm the last person in the world that should be offering any type of advice or input as it relates to relationships. (I have the opposite issue - guys don't generally approach me because they think I'm too cerebral and intense). Try volunteering in the community. The women there will more than likely be genuine. =) Bookstores are great as well. Depending on personality, it might not be a bad place to meet someone. I met a woman while volunteering for the Hurricane Katrina Relief and I meet women at Barnes & Noble on a weekly basis. With other guys, they may be sensible and down to earth, but with me; all that changes. 
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Dec 31 2005, 07:20 PM
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#6
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 hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
Brandon my dear, that's why you must come to Colorado. I'm all you'll need. Haha :]
But really, I'm not sure why that is but like someone said before, I shouldn't be the one giving out relationship advice. Right now I'm having a pretty hard time finding a guy in the first place. |
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Dec 31 2005, 07:22 PM
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#7
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^_^ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,141 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,466 |
QUOTE(M1SSxCHR1SSY @ Dec 31 2005, 6:20 PM) Brandon my dear, that's why you must come to Colorado. I'm all you'll need. Haha :] But really, I'm not sure why that is but like someone said before, I shouldn't be the one giving out relationship advice. Right now I'm having a pretty hard time finding a guy in the first place. Colorado doesn't have good weather for motorcycles. I say we move to SoCal. We'd make each other very happy. |
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Dec 31 2005, 07:24 PM
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#8
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hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
Haha, one day :]
Yes, I'm pretty sure we'd make each other very happy. |
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Dec 31 2005, 08:29 PM
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#9
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 sandra <3 chris Group: Member Posts: 54 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 338,520 |
I think the maybe the person thats really meant to be with you just didn't come yet? To me i dont think you should just og out there and look for a girl you like you should be yourself and do what you like to do except looking for the one you love. somebodies gonna come. she'll come sooner or later. you'll soon notice a girl that likes you for who you are and not what you can do and giver her.
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Jan 1 2006, 02:02 AM
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#10
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 Cockadoodledoo Mother Fcuka!!! Group: Member Posts: 1,438 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 296,088 |
dude, ur ordering a bigmac at mcdonalds. with tha game ur playin its highly unlikely that youll find tha girl ur lookin for. try to change ur game up and see what happens. (tell u tha truth, i dont see yours as a compromising situation at all.)
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Jan 1 2006, 02:09 AM
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#11
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^_^ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,141 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,466 |
QUOTE(vash1530 @ Jan 1 2006, 1:02 AM) dude, ur ordering a bigmac at mcdonalds. with tha game ur playin its highly unlikely that youll find tha girl ur lookin for. try to change ur game up and see what happens. (tell u tha truth, i dont see yours as a compromising situation at all.) Perfect example... I met a a grad student on campus and sje thought I was running game by taking the 'honest approach.' She "falls" for it, but when she realized I truly was being honest, she told me that she wasn't ready for anything serious. If I didn't have a conscience, I'd plant my seed on the backs of attractive women all across the city. |
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Jan 1 2006, 02:39 AM
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#12
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Cockadoodledoo Mother Fcuka!!! Group: Member Posts: 1,438 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 296,088 |
well icant really think of much else. how do you presen yourself. 1st impressions may be bitin u on ur ass.
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| *not_your_average* |
Jan 1 2006, 04:04 AM
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#13
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brandon, there are genuine, honest women out there. like vash said, it's the way you present yourself.
QUOTE My style, my swagger, my charm (if you may) all send signs to women that I am a 'sexual deviant' of sorts. that's just it. i think you need to take a break from women for a while. relax, and just let yourself be single for a while. |
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Jan 1 2006, 05:36 AM
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 IMPOSTA! Group: Member Posts: 121 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 339,764 |
Eat the Hoe Cakes.
MM...Food. They are opportunities. Thou art young. Carpe Diem! |
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Jan 1 2006, 04:32 PM
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#15
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 can't touch this Group: Member Posts: 174 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 323,184 |
So here's what I think would work (on me atleast):
Be yourself. If you meet a girl you're attracted to, introduce yourself. If she seems hesitant, move on. If you find one who's friendly enough to talk, tell her a little about yourself. If she seems interested, tell her you'd like to get to know her more and swap numbers. Eventually you'll end up friends and maybe more. |
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Jan 1 2006, 05:41 PM
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#16
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 Sing to Me Group: Member Posts: 1,825 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,808 |
 i'm sorry. the way you wrote it was just too cute and funny. i would think that girls would be put off by your confidence. over confidence in one's sex appeal often means that person isn't serious at all about any relationship. maybe sometimes you did meet a potential girlfriend but they saw you as a player and just used you as one. i suggest you talk to your girl friends and ask if they think any of their other girl friends is a good match for you. you know, sort of a friend of a friend thing. that way your friend helps mediate a bit in the relationship, giving them a different first impression than you would give yourself. if all else fails, you got tons of CB girls willing to be your other half. 
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Jan 1 2006, 08:07 PM
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#17
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^_^ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,141 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,466 |
QUOTE(sharpandcuddly @ Jan 1 2006, 3:32 PM) So here's what I think would work (on me atleast): Be yourself. If you meet a girl you're attracted to, introduce yourself. If she seems hesitant, move on. If you find one who's friendly enough to talk, tell her a little about yourself. If she seems interested, tell her you'd like to get to know her more and swap numbers. Eventually you'll end up friends and maybe more. Meeting girls isn't a problem. The issue arises when I let them know that I am serious. I've ehard some crazy shit too... "All I wanted was some d**k." "You're sexy and all, but I just want to hook up." "I never saw you as the relationship type, I was just curious about how good in bed you are." "So if I go black, will I not go back?" Yeeeeah 
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| *Programmer* |
Jan 1 2006, 08:13 PM
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#18
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welcome to my life brandon...on finding a girl that wants me...for more then just "sex" im still trying to figure out that question to this day...
 if you find an awnser let me know... 
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| *mipadi* |
Jan 1 2006, 08:16 PM
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#19
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You work all your life to build up a reputation...and then it just bites you in the ass.
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Jan 2 2006, 12:52 AM
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#20
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can't touch this Group: Member Posts: 174 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 323,184 |
so IF you go black will you go back?
rofl just kidding. friends first, then relationship. that's all i can think of. if she's your friend then she wont think you just want her for sex..or vis versa. |
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Jan 2 2006, 12:57 AM
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#21
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^_^ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,141 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,466 |
QUOTE(mipadi @ Jan 1 2006, 7:16 PM) You work all your life to build up a reputation...and then it just bites you in the ass. Don't be mistakened, I'm hardly as forthright and cocky in person. This just seems to come out of my online because its so impersonal. Almost as if I fail to acknowledge that a screenname has feelings. In every social circle that I happen to be a part of, I'm known for something different; my reputation differs. High School: The Don College: The smart black guy that dresses like KanYe West (um, ok). Clubs: DJ/bboy Motorcycle Crew: The businessman Friends: Brandon |
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| *Azarel* |
Jan 2 2006, 12:57 AM
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#22
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QUOTE(sharpandcuddly @ Jan 1 2006, 9:52 PM) so IF you go black will you go back? The only thing I have to say is... ever heard of the term "fuck buddies"?
rofl just kidding. friends first, then relationship. that's all i can think of. if she's your friend then she wont think you just want her for sex..or vis versa. |
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Jan 2 2006, 12:59 AM
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#23
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^_^ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,141 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,466 |
QUOTE(Azarel @ Jan 1 2006, 11:57 PM) The only thing I have to say is... ever heard of the term "fuck buddies"? Yea, but it enver really works out. I'm not that type to become emotionally dependent because I truly believe I need no one but myself to attain happiness and enlightenment. However, I wouldn't want to hurt a woman if she gets attached. I'd feel horrible. |
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| *mipadi* |
Jan 2 2006, 01:08 AM
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So if you are not emotionally dependent on anyone, and you don't need anyone else to achieve happiness or enlightenment, why exactly are you looking for a "real" relationship anyway?
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Jan 2 2006, 04:56 AM
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#25
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Senior Member Group: Duplicate Posts: 459 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 308,469 |
theres a right person for everyone, till then, i would not be complaining about getting with all these women meanwhile.
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