too soon ?, sex .. Options

[crazi_in_love_08]

ok .. well ive known this guy for about a year .. and we were soo close from the day we've met .. we just started dating like a month ago .. lately ive been thinkin about sex alot .. ( yes im still a virgin) ..before i never really thought about it .. do u think its too soon to have sex? i tried talkin to my best friend .. her and her boyfriend recently broke up .. but i cant talk to her about anything cuz she always talks about her ex .. this is what she told me

HER: ull have sex...and then h e'll break up wit ur ass adn ull wanna kill urself...if u wanna be like me ... go have sex go for it..
HER: look at how i am now ....its pretty shyty rite?
HER: well thats wat one year fo being in love can do to u .... if i wouldnt of had sex it wouldnt be AS bad as it is now...
HER: so ur choice.... knowin u guys wont be together forever...even tho u would love to... u wont... would u do this to urself

..with my past relationships.. i never even thought about having sex with them or being with them forever .. but this ons is different .. we were talkin the other day and he said as soon as im out of highschool (im 16) we are gettin an appartment and all this stuff .. he has everything planned out .. and yesterday he was talkin to my mom while i was in the shower and he told her that he really loves me and wants to be with me forever and all this stuff ...and he was talkin about everything with her .. can u please give me your opinion?

[_sarcastic_]

^agreed. you are only 16, plenty of time, save it for someone special.
your best friend might be right you know, having sex isn't the only way you show you love him. that's what happened to me, my bf and i thought of getting an apartment as soon as i get out of highschool, but now...we're fighting every chance we have.
you guys have only been dating for a couple of months? why not wait for awhile and see where your relationship is heading.

[*mipadi*]

I think teenagers rush into sexual intercourse too fast. Sex should mean something; I feel that a lot of relationships in high school, no matter how "real" they seem, are not solid enough to warrant sex. At that age, you should be dating to get a feel for what you like, develop solid relationship skills, and so forth. Jumping into a sexual relationship makes a relationship suddenly much more serious, and then it becomes too much of a burden, and can often hinder development. Furthermore, as noted, there are a lot of problems (sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy) associated with sex, aside from the mental/emotional issues.

And not to be a killjoy, but just because someone says that he is thinking about your future together, that you're "going to get an apartment together," doesn't mean much at such an early age. Trust me--relationships of all types (family, friends, romantic) change a lot once the parties reach college-age.

To be honest, sexual intercourse isn't something I'd rush into lightly. And besides...there's always alternative methods in this department.

[chococat15]

I think teenagers rush into sexual intercourse too fast. Sex should mean something; I feel that a lot of relationships in high school, no matter how "real" they seem, are not solid enough to warrant sex. At that age, you should be dating to get a feel for what you like, develop solid relationship skills, and so forth. Jumping into a sexual relationship makes a relationship suddenly much more serious, and then it becomes too much of a burden, and can often hinder development. Furthermore, as noted, there are a lot of problems (sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy) associated with sex, aside from the mental/emotional issues.

And not to be a killjoy, but just because someone says that he is thinking about your future together, that you're "going to get an apartment together," doesn't mean much at such an early age. Trust me--relationships of all types (family, friends, romantic) change a lot once the parties reach college-age.

To be honest, sexual intercourse isn't something I'd rush into lightly. And besides...there's always alternative methods in this department.

i agree...so many teenagers nowadays are getting pregnant and having sex at WAY too young an age...and they can't support themselves or their child. i had a neighbor who got pregnant and she had to drop out of high school and work at subway. her boyfriend left her. and she had to live with her parents, who were understanding, and took care of her 2 children. don't have sex...it could turn disastrous. wait until after high school or maybe college....i don't kno.

[technicolour]

If you're questioning it now, just imagine how much you'll be questioning yourself the morning after.

If you're questioning yourself now, then, really you aren't ready.

[Ilaem]

Well, i lost mine when i was 13

But i really wish i had waited

[chococat15]

^ 13?!

[sadolakced acid]

any doubt is doubt enough.

i say, save it for someone special. if you really think he's the one, then sure.

but also remember, as a general guideline, if you're not ready for a baby, you're not ready for sex.

[SimplicityGirl]

I think that most teens rush into the whole sex thing. I know a couple who's had sex after 6 months of dating...even though they're still together and are happy, I still wouldn't say that was the wisest thing for them to do. They were only 16. 16 is still too young an age to be involved sexually with members of the opposite gender. There's still the rest of your life for that. And really, would you waste it on a guy that won't mean anything to you in your future, or would you save it for a guy that would become an important part of your life in the future? Think about it. The choice is yours. Also, if you're questioning yourself if you should even have sex, it's obvious that you're just not ready for it.

[wishonthestars]

toooooooo young. im only 14, but i don't plan on having sex until im over 18 and absoluetly sure i love the man. im not trying to be rude at all - but anyone having sex before 18 sounds a bit slutty to me. but hey - its just my opinion. you could risk so many things. it only takes one time to get pregnant and you could screw up your life so horribly. even if you use a condom - you could misuse it and end up with a baby. i say - wait a couple more years and see if you two are still together.
i dont know your family - but my mom would beat my behind if i had sex at that age. it's possible your parents think the same. be careful

[Rachel]

any doubt is doubt enough.

i say, save it for someone special.  if you really think he's the one, then sure.

but also remember, as a general guideline, if you're not ready for a baby, you're not ready for sex.

While I agree with most of that, the last statement kind of irked me.

I am not ready for a child, but I am ready for sex..well I am having sex but still. If you are safe (ie birth control AND condoms each time) and are monogamous, I don't see why you wouldn't be ready for sex.

Meh, whatever back on topic.

Save it for when you feel ready. Don't fall for the future talk.

[*krnxswat*]

toooooooo young. im only 14, but i don't plan on having sex until im over 18 and absoluetly sure i love the man.

Sigh. That's what they all say.

[lilliannnn]

I think about sex alllllllll the time. I believe I'm physically ready to have sex with my boyfriend, but not mentally/emotionally.

I say that if you know the risks, if you're ready PHSYICALLY, MENTALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY, go for it. If not, don't.

[pinayprincess]

OHH C'MON! you only speny a month with him! thats too early!... people may seem like they know the person [they are going out with] but they dont, take some time get to know him more & more.. b/c ur friend is right, you dont know him well enough if hes gonna do that shit to you

[shawty_redd]

save it hunny

[mzbbc]

well i think 16 is not too young to be having sex, so that's not really the issue to me. it's just like... wait until you've been with him for a little while. he'll be saying anything to have sex with you, so i don't think the apartment thing is anything you should be going off of. the longer you wait with him, the more it'll be worth it.

[sadolakced acid]

While I agree with most of that, the last statement kind of irked me.

I am not ready for a child, but I am ready for sex..well I am having sex but still. If you are safe (ie birth control AND condoms each time) and are monogamous, I don't see why you wouldn't be ready for sex.

Meh, whatever back on topic.

Save it for when you feel ready. Don't fall for the future talk.

well, well, i said it was a general guideline.

of course, i'm pretty sure i'm going to break it sooner or later, but it is something to consider.

[flaymzofice]

Similar to the whole 'love' thing, I don't think one can put an age limit on sex. However, there is a reason the law states sex under 16 is a triable offence (in the UK anyway). The law does not believe individuals younger than this are mentally able to make the 'right' decision. On the other hand, it's all about pragmatism. If you think you're ready, go for it. Everyone has ideals when they're 12 regarding the situation, age etc but when it comes to it, if you think it's right, what's anyone else's opinion going to matter? At the end of the day, it's your life, not theirs. They have as little right to criticise as they do to encourage. Personally, I believe it's about whether or not you'll regret later.

[shortiiex]

your relationship is just full of lust
just take it slowly..until you feel love and 100% TRUST

[Justingamemaster]

oh yeah, and this is quite dumb if you ask me.

[lit0chinagirl]

yes, like everyone else, i think you're too young to be having sex right now. i'm just about your age and i can't imagine losing my virginity at all until i'm at least in college or maybe even later. there are so many people around me who aren't virgins anymore and when i look at them, i just cant believe the truth. many people who have already lost it just continue to have sex with whoever after they think they find "the one"-- once things end with "the one" and i think they basically just have sex again because they don't see the point after already losing it. kind of like a rebound sort of thing, i suppose. people these days are always saying how they're "in love" and not realize that it was just mere attraction/lust that kept them together or whatever. even though you have known him for a long time already, i think that you should wait until you've been with him awhile so that you know what he's all about when he's IN a relationship with you and NOT a friendship. although your friend is heartbroken, what she says does make sense. she's a living example of what you may or may not become-- are you willing to take that risk? so please do yourself a favor and wait.

[mouse_3k]

In your username you have "08", and I'm guessing that's your graduation year. That's also my graduation year.

ur too young. But I mean you did love him for a year so go ahead as long as ur ready for the consequences (being called a slut at school cause of ur age, pregnancy, STDs, etc). w/e, its ur choice. As long as hes not like 18 years old and a pedaphyle.

[babygurl_xtacy]

You can't trust anyone only after a month

[whomps]

Well, i lost mine when i was 13

But i really wish i had waited

I wouldn't.. consider that.. something.. to be proud of.

Toooooooooooooo early.

[xTINAA]

If you even have to ask, then YES it's too soon.

You need to be sure of your decision and obviously you can't even make one. That right there should indicate what you should do.