Ah, boys., Trouble, trouble... Options

[PurchasedRebelli...]

Here's my deal:

I had/have a boyfriend. He was my first boyfriend EVER, in fact. We have been/were together for 5 years. Kind of on and off. We'd fight, break it off and then a week later, reconcile. Well, that's what happened a couple days ago.

And the thing is, I love this boy. Like, REALLY love him. But we just don't seem to click at times. But I can't imagine my life without him. Even now... he's only been gone a couple days and I miss him terribly. I saw him earlier today and all I wanted to do was hug him and never let him go.

But he's always up my ass about me cheating on him. Which I'm NOT doing. Because I'm online and I have friends who are boys on my AIM (who I RARELY talk to). And it's not like they're random guys, either... he's friends with them as well. And that's all they are... FRIENDS.

And here's where it gets even more complicated:

Since we've broken up, I've been hanging out with this other boy. Who I hadn't seen/talked to for two years but I've always had this thing for him. And it doesn't help that I did cheat on my boyfriend with him (a long time ago... and it was horrible and I never should have done it). But yeah, we reconnected and I actually really like him. But I don't know if he still likes me or if he's just trying to get in my pants.

So, I'm torn. I really want to be with my boyfriend. But I know we'll just end up fighting again (because we're like that) and I don't want to feel like shit. But I seriously can't live without him. (Kind of pathetic, I know. But he's pretty much all I know.) Buuuuut, I really like this other boy. And I'm really happy when I'm with him. But I can't help but feel like I'm doing something wrong.


So, yeah. Do I try to reconcile with my boyfriend or forget him and get with the other guy? Oh, and to make it even worse, the other guy is white. Which doesn't really bode well with the parentals. They're not racist or anything, just old fashioned. It took them a year to let me be with my boyfriend (who is Asian)... so you can just imagine how long (if ever) they'll let me date (if we ever get to that point) the other boy.


Sorry, that was kind of long. But I'm stuck and I'd appreciate some advice. Thanks.

[dahding]

"Since we've broken up, I've been hanging out with this other boy. Who I hadn't seen/talked to for two years but I've always had this thing for him. And it doesn't help that I did cheat on my boyfriend with him (a long time ago... and it was horrible and I never should have done it). But yeah, we reconnected and I actually really like him. But I don't know if he still likes me or if he's just trying to get in my pants."

you say you love your boyfriend.



then why did you cheat on him.

you say that he accuses you of cheating, and you don't. but...didn't you just contradict yourself?

anywho. what's past is past. um...i'd say, pick neither.
1. you don't want the new guy to be a rebound guy.
2. if you don't think things will pan out with u and ur bf, then it will probably flop. 3. you like both, so picking one means you're just saying who u like more and
that's not being loyal to either one.

i say just wait a while and stay single.

[topsyturvy]

^ what he said.

Well, actually, if you REALLY love your boyfriend, i would say wait it out and things should get better. SHOULD. If they don't, THEN break up.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Never leave the one you love for the one you like.


If you, REALLY cant live without him, then dont f**k it up by messing around with another boy, which he is already accusing you of doing.

[steezahh]

mmm i kinda get what your saying.. but i do love someone a lot that i just wanna hug and never let them go. haha.. but anyways,.. it doesnt always work out. i just recentley saw my 'husband' and wow.. its different, we got close, but anyways since he always gets his cellphone taken away i never have a way to grab ahold of him, since hes always out. imagine not seeing your guy for 4 weeks! thats what im going through its hard.. it really is. but i think im actually over him. anyways.. this might not help you but its a story kinda like yours.?

[PurchasedRebelli...]

When I "cheated" on him, we weren't even going out officially, we were casually dating. After that incident was when I realized that I wanted to be with Danny (the boyfriend).

But yeah, I think you're right. I should be single. I need to be single. I've been attached for the past 5 years. Ack.

But the thing is, Ben (the other guy) makes me REALLY happy. Like, I've never felt anything like how I feel when I'm with him. I remember the first time we kissed, holy moly... it was literally heaven.

But whatever. I think I'll just go with the flow. Life is what you make it. I'll take whatever comes my way. If Ben wants to hang out some more... what's the harm in that?

I'm sure Danny and I need the space anyways. Before we started seeing each other, he'd JUST moved up from VA and gotten out of a serious relationship. So, he's never really been alone.

And yes, "never leave the one you love for the one you like" is pretty accurate. I love Danny, I like Ben. It's not worth it.

Thanks, guys. I probably sound like a horrible slut or something. But I'm really not!

[dahding]

When I "cheated" on him, we weren't even going out officially, we were casually dating.  After that incident was when I realized that I wanted to be with Danny (the boyfriend).

But yeah, I think you're right.  I should be single.  I need to be single.  I've been attached for the past 5 years.  Ack.

But the thing is, Ben (the other guy) makes me REALLY happy.  Like, I've never felt anything like how I feel when I'm with him.  I remember the first time we kissed, holy moly... it was literally heaven.

But whatever.  I think I'll just go with the flow.  Life is what you make it.  I'll take whatever comes my way.  If Ben wants to hang out some more... what's the harm in that?

I'm sure Danny and I need the space anyways.  Before we started seeing each other, he'd JUST moved up from VA and gotten out of a serious relationship.  So, he's never really been alone.

And yes, "never leave the one you love for the one you like" is pretty accurate.  I love Danny, I like Ben.  It's not worth it.

Thanks, guys.  I probably sound like a horrible slut or something.  But I'm really not!

in all honesty, i don't think negatively of you, nor do i think that you are some kind of slut.

i just wanted to point out possible reasons for him suspecting you. tis all.

and being single is probably the best for now. yay for being single! i understand how you can still have feelings for him, i mean, you had gone out with him for five years. i think that waiting things out is the best option for now.

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

What Bella said; never leave the one you love for the one you like. You'll surely regret it.

[mouse_3k]

I've always had this thing for him. And it doesn't help that I did cheat on my boyfriend with him (a long time ago... and it was horrible and I never should have done it).

well if u cheated on ur boyfriend, then you obviously DONT love him. And besides, he has every right to be up the ass bout u cheating because u did cheat on him before. honestly, u dont deserve a guy like him. u say u love him and u cheat on him..hmm..

I aint gon call u a slut or anything but in my opinion, he needs a girl that will truly love him with no fights, just happiness and wont cheat on him.

[PurchasedRebelli...]

well if u cheated on ur boyfriend, then you obviously DONT love him. And besides, he has every right to be up the ass bout u cheating because u did cheat on him before. honestly, u dont deserve a guy like him. u say u love him and u cheat on him..hmm..

I aint gon call u a slut or anything but in my opinion, he needs a girl that will truly love him with no fights, just happiness and wont cheat on him.

Like I said, we weren't exclusive when I cheated. So I didn't really do anything wrong. But in Danny's opinion, once we went on that first date, we were going out. Which is why we've always had a dispute as to when our anniversary is.

And besides, love isn't all daisies and sunshine. If you're in a relationship and don't have any fights, there's just something wrong there. You can't be happy and on the same page all the time.

[HybridCountdown5]

if you "can't imagine my life without him" then friend, i think you've answered your own question