Fairly Tales, am i stuck in one? Options

[HuGzNKissEs]

I happen to be the average girl who watched fairly tales as a child & thought the best part was when the two main characters would fall in love.....(beauty & the beast...Ariel & Eric...cinderella & the prince...snow white & her prince...sleeping beauty & her prince...etc.) & now that i'm older i watch chick flicks with the same basic principle.

Well i've sorta stuck it in my head that guys really are that sweet & loving. But it seems like everytime my b/f & I kiss & stuff he just gets hard..... ...& then once again my little fairly tale bubble is bursted. I've tried talking to him about it & i understand that he IS a guy but....isnt there ANY guy out there who kisses a girl & actually thinks about JUST that kiss for that one moment & like everything just stands still??? ANYONE?? Please help!

[Chii]

well, you keep repeating over and over that you've been together for 3 years in your last like 20 or so posts so it's not like it's that big of a deal. he probably feels that the fairy tale stuff is over and it's time for...more mature stuff.

there are probably guys like that...like this guy who likes me ...but i'm already seeing someone and i need more than the fairy tale stuff.

[technicolour]

After 3 years, it would make sense that the guy is looking for something more. Chii's right. 3 years is a long time, and after the beginning stuff it's bound to turn into a more mature relationship.

If you're not ready to turn the relationship into something more mature, tell him that. From what I can gather it seems that you aren't, but only do something that drastic when you are READY.

[Kneuklid Romance]

Yup, I'm a guy and from my experiences you are just living that good old fairy tale in your head...guys are just.....guys and they act the way they do.

And after three years you'd expect that from a guy ^___^. BUT BE CAREFUL...emotions definitely change after sex...on both sides.

lmao I dont get "hard" when I kiss my girlfriend because it's out of sheer love, not lust.

Also, it depends on the guy's mindset to begin with ; I dont' cave into girls easily at all and therefore it takes A LOT for a female to get my attention in the first place...

...relationships seem so much better when you just keep lust out of it. I'd rather cuddle on the couch for 2 hours then make out for 2 hours, but that's just me ; and that's one reason why my relationship has lasted for a very very long time.

Relationships are ALL different and some relationships strive on the lustful side, mine just happens to fall onto the more lovey side... but ask yourself, "Where does mine lie?"

LHHRS

Kevyn @-)---------

Edit: Hmmm after reading the previous posts I must say you should use caution because sex can either make or break your relationship and it would be a tragedy to have waited three years only to have a change of heart on his part ; I've heard of something called "sexual breakdown" where after a couple has sex for the first time for some reason there are stimulated emotions that run through both partners and it triggers some sort of doubtful feeling (Mainly on the female's end) but three years? It shouldn't be a problem, any couple that lasts this long should truly love each other and be ok.

This post has been edited by Kneuklid Romance: Nov 22 2005, 01:48 PM

[_sarcastic_]

3 years.. long time you know, maybe he thinks it's time to get more serious, i mean you can't be living in a fairy tale world forever

[NyCaZnShOrtAii]

rofl

[DrEaMgUy2K1]

how cute, obviously when u grow older u know theres a time and a place to get super excited lol... hang in there , eventually hell know its not gonna lead anywhere and he will be more excited about kissing u then thinkin about what ur gonna do after

[hottiebheibi]

the problem... you stick to your fairy tales... your forgetting something... fairy tales is very far different from the real world... get over of your fantasy and start living in reality...

i don't get your last question.....

[mzbbc]

well that's sweet and definetly not a bad thing, to be in a fairy tale, but just remember that just because you are doesn't mean all guys are. accept them for who they are. just because they have a sex drive doesn't mean they'll treat you any worse. some things people just can't help.

[lit0chinagirl]

well maybe disney forgot to add in the hormonal parts to their fairy talkes

now dear, what where the chances that he wasn't going to get hard on you eventually?anyways, i'm sure that it'll stop soon. it could be worse, he might ask you for sex. just be glad that you've been together for so long.
it would be great if fairy tales could last for a long time but yeah, you got to consider the real world and all the not so magical stuff that comes with it.

[KissMe2408]

I understand what you are saying. I'm the same way. I've watched Eric & Ariel when I was little, and now chick flicks with the same principle.
He is a guy, so i mean that kinda stuff happens. But just to let you know there is a guy out there that thinks of being in that moment and everything stands still. There is a guy that will dance with you and not be thinking of how he can get into your pants. There was one guy i dated a long time ago that was really respectful of me, and seemed to be that kinda guy you are talking about. One that won't take advantage of you, and just wants to be in that moment you know? But no guy is perfect. remember that. But i'm sure you will find your prince charming one day, just like I will, I'm not going to settle for anything less, and you shouldn't either.

[ceara cecilyrose]

Oh for crying out loud!

What do you EXPECT a guy to do if he's kissing a girl he cares about? Really, Disney doesn't mention that all of their fairytale heroes are probably hard as rock when they're kissing their princess. Its just something that happens! Romance and the like is wonderful, but at its heart, modern romance has a lot to do with sex and creating children. Look further into even the disney fairytales. They all seem to have children eventually. That means that the fairytale characters were having sex *g*
A guy having an erection isn't really something that he can control easily. I mean, it's feasable that if he thought of something vile like his grandmother naked or something, that would make it stop. But then he wouldn't be enjoying kissing you.
Is it a bad thing if your boyfriend finds you arousing? A guy getting hard doesn't always mean that he's consciously thinking about sex or trying to get into your pants. It's just another physical thing that happens albeit one that is often spurred on by someone the guy is interested in :)

Don't get me wrong, I think that guys should be sweet and romantic and caring. My boyfriend most certainly is - the last time I visited him, he gave me flowers every single day I was visiting and he hugs me and kisses me and tells me how much he loves me.
But he gets hard a lot in my presence. It doesn't mean that all he wants from me is sex (actually, he's less sex-focussed than I am) but it does mean that it is something that he likes to do with me and I don't have a problem with that at all. (We're both consenting adults in a long-term committed relationship, after all!)


You shouldn't do anything with your boyfriend that you're not comfortable in doing but you also need to understand that he's a male with a penis and testosterone. He WILL get hard sometimes around you because he must clearly find you attractive (otherwise why would he be with you?) and thats just something that happens. It doesn't mean he's not feeling romantic or in the moment!

[DaTru KataLYST]

ni yao xiang xing
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua li.


Just lamenting for you. Don't be so sad, the girl in the music video died. You just have to slap a guy.

[me1issaaaa]

^ Agreed with what almost everyone's already said.

But, as the boyface informs me, when you make out and stuff, it's basically preparing the guy/pee-nis for sex. So unless the guy really has a lot of self control, there's not much he can do about NOT getting turned on.

[HybridCountdown5]

hey, sex/ "a more mature relationship" is for when your married (It may be a bit old fasioned of me, but hey, what can I say)

In answer to your question, I'd say that you're not living in a fairy tale, just wishing for your definition of an ideal relationship. Go find someone who wants the same sort of relationship you want^^