createblog diary, v.6 Options

[Retrogressive]

Dear cB diary,

I can't wait for HALLOWEEN. And guess what? Adrienne's flying down for her birthday in NOV.

AHHH!!! I'm so happy. I shouldn't be.

-Linda Belle

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
I wish I could turn off certain areas of my brain and turn on other ones so I could focus and get this damn paper done and stop thinking about him. Or I wish I could stop freaking overanalyzing so damn much. Things would be a hell of a lot easier if I did.
-Me.

[*reflection*]

dear diary,
i get out early tom.

[*danielle_x3*]

dear diary
halloween was fun.
some guy dressed like a catholic school girl, but then again some guy always does that. i have so much homework, but i'm procrastinating. i should really stop. lol
-dani

[Teesa]

Dear CB Diary,
Life is so strange..so unexpected. I should be working on college applications, but as usual, my mind is wandering off. Oh gosh, if anyone could have felt my sadness last night..leaving work was so hard. It was weird, almost like I was leaving a part of me behind. I spent so much time there and formed some great friendships..it was so difficult. I never knew that people liked me that much because I only worked since June. But one thing I do know is that no one can take that experience away from me. It was my first job and I loved it. Which is unusual for some people, but I honestly can say I loved it.

I know I have gotten over him. Wow..I cannot believe I ever liked him that much. I don't know, something changed last night when I saw him. I was excited and everything, but I didn't care. He can do his own thing and that's perfectly fine.

Why do I do this? I really was thinking about it and I don't think I could ever be with someone..maybe waaaayyyyy ahead in the future, but not now. I look at everyone else's relationships. They have one thing in common. They don't last. I don't want that. Obviously. I guess I just love liking someone, if that makes any sense. It's just fun..in an odd way.

--Teesa

[*Solipsist*]

Dear CB:

Did you read that? Yeah, laugh at me. I don't care anymore.
Sad thing is, I didn't think it helped. Gah failed....again.

self-pity, stat!

- Solipsist

[*torngemini*]

Dear cB Diary,

"But I warn you I have thorns like any rose"
-Break Me (Jewel)

I got up once again later than usual. LOL. I think it's because I sleep so late that I just end up waking up late. I was suppose to be at school at 10 and yeah didn't show up til 12:30pm. Had a damn good lunch though with Angela and Chui as we went to the Pho place near RPM. TOLD YOU CHUI!! It's good!!! I actually have a craving for it now ... maybe I'll buy some tomorrow. I get $20 tomorrow hahahah. Man. It sucks being broke. Anyways ... Chui made some mean mean but admittingly funny racial remarks about the waitresses. No bruises? Not married ... lolz!! Man that's mean. SOOOOOOOO MEAN but you are funny.

Was suppose to be studying for Psych for the rest of that day too but I ended up only studying for maybe 2 hours max. LOL. So many distractions. LOL. When Angela's there ... it's all a big distraction because she's so loud! LOL. I couldn't concentrate LOL. I ... have ... to ... talk. LOL. Clinton ... you weren't too impressed were you? Hhahahaha. I swear you're the only one who actually tries to get me to study. Well Gemma too ... and Gemm ... man ... you hit me until I study LOL. Well I'm studying like hell tomorrow since I have my chem midterm on Wednesday but I really don't know how much studying I can do if I have to f**king finish my stupid chem lab from last week. It's so friggin confusing! I hate chem sometimes. Hate it.

Then ... after finishing my Psych midterm in 40 minutes ... Angela, Jake, Cindy, Chui and I decided to go out for a stroll for Halloween. It turned out to be bunk because the place that Chui took us to wasn't scary hhhahaha. All we got was scratches from the stupid thorn bushes hahaha. And we tried to find other places but sadly failed. DAMN YOU CHUI!!! LOL. Just kidding. It's just too bad because we had to get so much trouble getting batteries for your flashlight too hahhahahahaha. At least we had some good conversations in the car. Sex is always an interesting conversation isn't it? Especially when we're quoting scenes from Monthy Python hahaha. Good times. Good times.

[Retrogressive]

CB DIARY,

What I want to tell her: "I loved you when you ate out of my Chinese take out with your fingers, I loved you when you cried by the San Antonio river, I loved you when you ate a whole pint of ice cream, I loved you when you woke up first thing in the morning, I loved you when you didn't wear make-up, I loved you when you spilt milk on your clothes, I loved you when your hair wasn't red, I loved you when I first saw you, I never forgot to call you even when I told you I did, I loved you when we played in the San Antonio water fountain barefoot in the middle of the night when no one was around and we walked through the streets barefoot, I loved you when everyone else didn't, I loved you when you got angry with me, I loved you when you yelled at me for waking you up but it was only because I wanted to be with you sooner, I loved you always, I've always known you. But now... now is different you see. I've loved you at your worst but you've never loved me. You find my flaws and hate them when I find your flaws and love them. How can this continue? You've change, you're so selfish and self-centered. I'm so sorry your parents f**ked you up. And don't be jealous of me you'll always be prettier. And you think you have it rough? Try being in love with your best friend who would never love you in return because you aren't perfect."

Is that too much?

[*jooleeah*]

dear cb diary,
i'm so selfish. uhg.

[pbear]

dear CBdiary,

can i just say i HATE english class and we'll leave it at that?

Linda

[*lolita kitty*]

dear cb diary,

eeeeeeee!!! today was fun!!!
my friends bought me these cute tinkerbell balloons and they all made me cards and sang happy birthday to me in dance class!!!
ah, birthdays are so.... ... ..yeah
i love my friends

we're having our family dinner in about an hour and i get to open my presents. partyyyyt his saturday.

wooooohoooo!!!

- cassie.

[*not_your_average*]

edit:
Dammit, I take things waaaayyy too seriously. x]

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog diary,

I simply don't understand how people can stand to put up with me. I'm too emotional and moody to be fun around. My personality clashes with so many others because I'm an elitist. Certain people will never get on my nerves, but more than just a few do.

Last night was memorable, although everyone started pissing me off. I can't help it, I guess; it's part of who I am--nothing can ever be going too well because I will purposely find some way to fuck it all up. It's not my fault, though; nothing is ever perfect, so what's the point?

What I hate about high school is that there's so much shit that goes down. There's so much drama, and everyone's established their exclusive shitty little cliques. Even though I want and need to find another group of friends, it's not possible because there's nobody new around. Nobody worth getting to know.

I can't wait for college, but what terrifies me is that I may not even make it there. I may be stuck in this rut. I don't know how everyone else can be so optimistic about that shit; I hope they don't even get into college. Their futures aren't secure, so why are they so excited? I don't even know what colleges to apply to. I guess it's the whole financial issue. Nobody knows it, though. Nobody can tell. After all, I don't complain about the things I want but don't have, so they think I have everything. It's so much bullshit.

I hate that I know that I'm better than everyone around me, more than in the sense that I'm smarter than them. I deserve to know better people, I deserve to be somewhere else, I deserve to at least be happy, but I can't have it.

As for my own happiness, it's wavering. I've staying out late and trying to have a good time, but I'm not fully happy. Not really. There's always that itch in the back of my mind; it's been a week and a half. I don't want to complain, I don't want to bitch, I don't want to nag like I did--that's how it ended before. But I don't think I can live like this, never knowing when the next time will be. I feel like I'm fading.

Me.

[xTINAA]

CB DIARY,

What I want to tell her: "I loved you when you ate out of my Chinese take out with your fingers, I loved you when you cried by the San Antonio river, I loved you when you ate a whole pint of ice cream, I loved you when you woke up first thing in the morning, I loved you when you didn't wear make-up, I loved you when you spilt milk on your clothes, I loved you when your hair wasn't red, I loved you when I first saw you, I never forgot to call you even when I told you I did, I loved you when we played in the San Antonio water fountain barefoot in the middle of the night when no one was around and we walked through the streets barefoot, I loved you when everyone else didn't, I loved you when you got angry with me, I loved you when you yelled at me for waking you up but it was only because I wanted to be with you sooner, I loved you always, I've always known you. But now... now is different you see. I've loved you at your worst but you've never loved me. You find my flaws and hate them when I find your flaws and love them. How can this continue? You've change, you're so selfish and self-centered. I'm so sorry your parents f**ked you up. And don't be jealous of me you'll always be prettier. And you think you have it rough? Try being in love with your best friend who would never love you in return because you aren't perfect."

Is that too much?

Tell her. That's good. I know I don't know you or your situation but tell her. Gosh I'm struggling with something right now and I want to tell him but I can't and as each day goes by and I don't say anything it drives me more and more insane.

Dear cB Diary,
Seriously wtheck is my problem????!!!?!! Why is he STILL all I ever think about? WHY WHY? I love him still I miss him still I want him still I need him still. There's something, there's gotta be something that is still there right? Otherwise why would I still be holding on? WHY? There has to be a reason to this madness. He is online every freaking day. He asks people about me. He looks at my xanga millions of times every single day. WHattttt wHYYYY! I want to talk to him but I don't. I don't want to initiate anything. HE broke MY heart. HE should initiate. WHy isn't he? Why is this all so damn confusing and frustrating? WHY? Why is it that I still cry and I can't get him out of my mind and just why.....
-Me.

[silver-rain]

Dear CB Diary,
So, it's done. Congratulations, Linda ! Your application has been successfully submitted.
Oh boyy, that's a relief, for now. But, I still have the UMich app and then the regular apps to do. But that stress and cloud that has been hanging over me has momentarily lifted.
Whew. Now, time to worry about my 2 tests tomorrow...

[*Programmer*]

Dear cb diary:

i feel like this is one sided...like i have to work for everything... i have court on the 8th wth did i do to deserve this....god damn racial profiling....i hate it.....equal rights my ass....becuase im a mutt of alot cultures....and i look good.... others hate...they hate the fact their not me...well let them know this now...F*ck you! im me...don't like it tough....i wasn't able to choose what i am....so go f*ck yourselfs

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

today was a wierd day. shitty traffic in the morning, english is stupid, was busy all day, my audition could've been so much better and i don't know...i cried too much today. i don't like it.
sigh. i can't stand my parents either. but anyways.
i need to get away. there's too much to do and such...i STILL need to do scholarship applications and blah blah...AUGH.

[Teesa]

Feel better Christina and Steph, I love you two!

Dear CB Diary,
Sometimes talking to my brother makes everything almost right. I was stressing out majorly tonight and I realized I had a new voicemail. When I heard my brother, I called him back right away and told him all my college problems. I told him that I just wished that someone would tell me one exact college to apply to and I'd be set. Sometimes I do hate having choices. I would love to go to DU, but CSU also provides a lot of opportunities..though my heart knows that DU is one of the best universities. It's just so close to home. We will see. Let's just hope I get accepted first.

-Teesa

[redpeony]

"Actually it's just my hands that are cold"
"Don't worry dead people rot when they warm up"
"You're such an as*! You call me dead! How do I put up with you?"
"Cause I love you....."

Tee heeeee.

I don't know how to feel about this relationship, but...

At times he makes me feel on top of the world... sometimes he makes me feel like I'm being stepped all over.

But in the end, it'll be worth it.

Cause I love him too. =p

[yukichan]

dear cB diary..
my gosh..today was horrible..drill is stressing me out, grades are stressing me out, parents are stressing me out, GOSH! EVERYTHING IS STRESSING ME OUT!ok, now that i got it out, i kind of feel better..

gosh..why does everyone criticize hu im going out with..what do they know about him?f***, they dont know sh** and they're insulting him..it just pisses me off a lot...until they know him well, i dont want to hear any sh** about him..gosh..im sick and tired of hearing ppl criticising him..im just tired of it..

dril..i SUCK at drill..cant even do the basics right..i dont even know if i should go to the competition..if i suck this much on friday, i might not go..and about the "have confidence", i cant have any confidence..im not suppose to have confidence..f***, parents tell me not to have confidence and everyone else tells me to..who am i suppose to listen to?

cant believe i got a B for social studies..thought i would do worser..but now that i think about it, i should have tried harder..it was only about 5% and i would have gotten an A..now..the only class that im afraid im failing is P.E..its not my fault i happen to have my period while we were suppose to swim..gosh..go rot in he**, please..

sh**..i need to stop procrastinating for real..or im going to fail for sure..ahh o well...k, im going then..my "psychitrist" kind of helped..haha..

--Nancy--

[*jooleeah*]

dear cb diary,
sometimes i wish that i could be truly happy for more than a second. that'd be nice.

[*Programmer*]

^your life is what you choose it to be julia...chin up...

Dear cb diary:

talked with _____ today had a couple laughs.....strange thing is i missed her....

[*reflection*]

dear diary,
today was alright.
the bus was late so i was late to school and my locker was stuck.

[*jooleeah*]

thanks rico. :]

dear cb diary,
i was so fcking moody today. in the beginning of school today, i felt like shit. torwards the end though- i was alright and in a pretty good mood. now i'm just angry at everything. i dont' even know why. people frustrate me. UHG. wth i hate school. adjhfkjhfuckingshitheads.

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

RANT TIME!
i hate it when people come bitching to me like that...and yet they don't do anything about they're crap. fine, i'll listen, but when you're being stupid and don't even realize what you're doing wrong, just stop already. god.
and i hate it when people don't realize you hate their joking/teasing. when i say stop i mean it so just leave me alone because you're fcuking annoying.
i hate bad drivers too.
and i hate cocky, immature people who can't get over themselves.