createblog diary, v.6 Options

[Dark's Angel]

Dear CB Diary,

I feel that everything is going out of control. I'm always tired now and I'm shaking alot at night and sometimes at school when I'm not cold. Its not a side effect of my migraine medicine and I want to know why I'm like this. If I stop taking the meds, I'll have horrible headaches that will feel like your head is being cracked open and all you want to do is go in a dark room, scram, and cry. Gods how I wish I wasn't me sometimes....

[-lana]

dear cB diary;

Sometimes my parents just make me so mad.. jksfhksd.

[*jooleeah*]

Dear cB diary,
I hate my brother with a burning passion. Oh yes.

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

Dear cB diary,
I think Amay doesn't like me. Maybe I sounded a bit harsh when I was talking to her today. But I was giving my true opinions! I don't know. I got her a balloon and everything maybe its PMS? X_X
Much love, Jane<3

[LittleLulu]

Dear cB Diary:
im so confused about so many things. "iono" has become one of my most often used words. theres just so much i cant explain. i SHOULD focuse on school. i always tell myself that. but my mind just always seems to find a ways to trail off into my thoughts about him.

is there such a thing as thinking too much?

[silver-rain]

Dear CB Diary,
I did really bad on the SAT, I'm not going to college...
Blah, I hope I did better on the ACT, but if I couldn't improve on the SAT, how could I on the ACT?
Nov. 1 keeps drawing closer and closer...
Can't wait till this is all over.

[Aoiro]

Dear cB,

Did I forget to right in here? I think I did. Anyways, last week was Spirit Week. Wooh. I didn't really dress up for any of the days...

Monday: Pajama Day
Tuesday: Twin Day
Wednesday: Wack Opposite Day
Thursday: 70's Day
Friday: Crazy Prom Day

It was all too boring.

Ah, yesterday, I went to L's birthday with R. So boring. All we did was watch the boys be crazy and do stuff. And we were the only girls there. Younger ones anyways. Only thing that's new in his house is a tennis court and swimming cool. Damn him. Rich boy.

Nothing has been going so swell lately. Everything is just boring. Especially school. I need something to hype me up or something.

And thanks to J, I don't talk to J anymore. Need an explanation? Go ahead and PM me about it.

Almost time for Halloween with C. Definately going to make everything fun. I hope it starts something.

[shortiiex]

dear diary,
omg
i can't belive he stalked them...thank god he didn't rape them..thank god he got arrested
but it must be fun that they got to go to school im a police car

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog diary,

I honestly can't remember the time when so many things went wrong in one day. Today was shitty. No doubt. And I'm exhausted and have yet to start on homework. Seeing Jenn happy about her present was worth a lot, though; I think I'll admit, she is my best friend. Even if I hate labels like that. And even if I hated her like no other just months ago. I'm glad she enjoyed her airzooka.

I hate bitching about how horrible my days were, though; yeah, I whine a lot, but I don't really want pity. But today sucked like no other. God... I don't even know. I need to get started on homework. I need to get motivated. I need sustenance.

Me.

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

well, this past weekend was amazing. lets hope the upcoming one follows suit. so far, its looking to be pretty good if any of the plans that are being talked about follow through.
i hope.
school sucks though. ugh.

[*torngemini*]

dear CB Diary,

Psychology class was interesting today. It made me think a lot about things have happened in the last year but I don't think it's helping me accept the reasons why all these things have happened. The decisions I've made ... the decisions he's made ... it's still hard to accept just because I was left in a situation where I had no choice but to make that one decision.

As interesting as psych class is, it just depresses me in a way because every word that came out of the prof's mouth just makes me think about everything that has happened and I'm wondering if we are ever going to talk about HOW to make things better.

Too much contemplationg ... blame that on my overthinking nature.

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
It sucks that this is my last ever Fall Break and I'm stuck doing nothing because my stupid self got myself in trouble. I'm so stupid. So completely foolish. And I'm trying to move on from Phillip but I can't. Why can't I? Right when I'm feeling like I can move on something has to happen. Why does he ask other people how I'm doing? Does that mean he still cares or is he just asking to ask? Why doesn't he bother asking me? Is he thinking like I am, do we both think the other doesn't want to talk to us, miss us, think about us? Why? WHY? Then something else happens and it's seriously just back and forth. "Oh maybe he misses me." "Wow, he's already moved on to someone new." WHY? Just, ugh, why is this so hard? I feel so stupid. I feel pathetic. I'm not passionate about anything really anymore. And honestly, I'm so apathetic, I just don't care. I have a 4000 word essay due in ONE WEEK and I have yet to really pick a research question or research. I'm screwed. But instead of worrying or thinking about that, I'm worrying and thinking about him. His grandma died this weekend. I can't imagine how he feels. All I want to do is be with him. He would tell me how much he missed and loved her and wished he could see her before she died. One death after another death. WHY? I should be there. He should be calling me, telling me he needs me. WHY? I'm so pathetic. Completely pathetic. All I can think about is him. No freaking joke. Anything and everything reminds me of him. Why is it like this? Why am I like this? What's my deal, my issue? I really need to hear how he feels about me, about this all. I need to hear if he still cares, if he misses me, thinks about, talks about me. I NEED TO. If I hear it, it'll make it easier to either move on or we can get back together. I need to hear. I need him to tell me. WHY? Why doesn't he talk to me? Why does he ask my friends but not me? Why does he hang out with her? Why is she all of a sudden being nice to me? Why? What's going on? I overanalyze everything. I really shouldn't but I can't help myself. My goodness, I'm going insane, I am insane. The conclusion: I'm completely, entirely, fully, pathetic, stupid, and insane.
-Me.

[*torngemini*]

Dear CB Diary,

Let's Freeze Time ...

I don't know if I want to make the days longer. A part of me wants both; make the days longer so that they won't have to run into each other so much, but also make the days shorter so that time could go by faster and live this life with less thought. If only I could stop time though, even for just a few hours and grab the ones that I love so much and say to them that everything is alright. No one is to blame, everything that happens can be a lesson learned. Take the ones that are willing to show their tears to me and hold them and show them there's more to life than what they possessed in the past. If I could stop time, maybe friendships could actually last and not have memories frozen on my wall. Maybe relationships could actually break and eventually heal itself so that we won't have to stain ourselves with so much bitterness when we reminisce. Life doesn't work that way does it? We could still have that chance to grab on to those that we love and say all that we need to say but no matter what time will still get in the way no matter how hard we try. So many things I could say to my mother, my friends, the one I've let myself into ... but time is running short. I miss you, I love you, I miss the way things used to be. I miss how we used to exchange lunches in third grade. I miss playing til we got bruises in the yard. I miss the honey sandwiches. I miss seeing your blue car at the driveway everytime you came home from a hard day's work. I miss the playground, our only place where our innocence took over us whole. I miss laughing together in the gym. I miss the music collaborations where all we had was a microphone and a cheap stereo. I miss holding on so late at night, being told, "I think I love you too much". But we had to grow up didn't we? We now have to fight our battles. Such battered fighters we all are, freezing every moment in time so we can go on headstrong. We each have our own battle to fight and in time we will all win. I hope someday when we are all old and grey, down the road, we will be able to sit down, relax and bask in the frozen time that we all so deserve beside our victory.

[TheReasonWhy]

dear cB...

i am soo annoyed now...with drama stuffs...and quizzes!omg...i am so dead =( school sucks....and nance seems to be ah...depress too....duno how to help her..

j

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog diary,

I don't know how to put my emotions into words anymore. I don't even know my own emotions anymore. Why?

And it's hard to change my mindset when it's all I've been told for sixteen years. After a while, I just sort of started believing it; why shouldn't I? I'm not good at anything anyway. I'm not getting into college. God. I hate application essays.

Me.

[*tweeak*]

See, I don't understand this concept of attracting guys. When you bitch at every girl who goes near the guy you like, I would imagine that would only make the guy like you a whole lot less. Perhaps I'm wrong? What do I know anyway. I can't flirt worth shit. But honestly, this is insane.

[*jooleeah*]

Dear cB Diary,
I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. Gah.

[Looow]

Dear cB Diary,
Ugh ugh ugh, I f**king hate this. i hate it. I hate coming home. I hate it. Alll I get is yelling. Mom's ALWAYS f**king yelling at me. I swear, she's always yelling at me. For ny little thing. I'm nto f**king perfect and there is no need to rub it in my face. I hate her sometimes. She doesn't undertsand. She doesn't let me talk. My dad, he just ignored me. He doesn't know SHIT either. They both don't know shit. They piss me off and I hate coming home. THIS IS THE REASON why my SISTER moved out. Because of them. She never wanted to come home to THIS. f**k.

[BrokenDream]

dear Createblog diary,
so hello there! umm. currently i don't feel like myself because i feel like i have more feelings for this boy then the one i love. it's kind of wierd. today - err actually all week my laptop is currently being stupid. grrrr! for some reason if hides my icons. now i have to actually search in my files to go somewhere like my psp8 or internet. i just want to punch my laptop sometimes.

today was alright. school was a bore like always. but it was exciting in 6th period because of him... him, i mean my love! and my lover is a complete idiot. a idiot. a stupid one.

anyway,
bye bye!

[ANG33ZY]

Dear Cbdiary,

As I sit here listening to my buddy Beandre's favorite song, " Happy People " by R. Kelly -- I would be ever so great to tell you about my day or whatever.

School day went by fast. It feels great that i'm bringing up my F in Geometry. I hope I brought up my C in Italian. I don't know why I have a C in that class in the first place because I turn in all my work, I do good on tests, and I participate. (( EXTRA PUNTI!! )). But whatever. I wonder what I have in English. I've always been a C student in English since Freshman year. I don't know, woman. I was able to pull off a B- in my 2nd semester Freshman year, though :)

Anyways, believe it or not. He did change schools. It's not like I talk to him a lot or anything, but he'll be greatly missed by me. I wonder why he goes to *that* school now. Was he sent there, or did he choose to go there? I always thought that was a school for people that cut school a lot or have low grades .. since they sent my cousin there for not going to school. I know deep inside he's a nice, smart, good person .. but I guess he just has his head up his ass :)

I baked cookies and now i'm mad because they came out crunchy and hard. I like soft and chewy cookies.

[azn_at_heart]

dear cb diary:
i have no face-to-face friends to tell me when something embarassing happens to me when not knowing

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
I'm struggling. So much. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm falling. Hard. Seriously. I'm getting sucked in. It gets easier and easier to screw up and do wrong. I'm doing all the things I shouldn't be doing. I need to research for this fucking 4000 word paper and I can't even get myself to do it. I don't even know where the hell to start or even what my research question is. I'm going crazy. Why is it like this? And damnit to hell but why do I still cry? I keep crying. Over and over again. I cry. Why? I'm so confused. Everything is my own damned fault so why even bother complaining? I'm so stupid.
-Me.

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

ugh. what is wrong with me? today started out like shit...i hate mr.street. fcuk. ahole. the rest of the day was okay i guess...meh. talking to adrian after school made me feel better though. then dance was just frustrating because i kept making mistakes and i wasn't able to get it and that never happens...then my mom is being a bitch as usual and talking to him on the phone wasn't the same today...he seemed so...i don't know, bored or something. i ask if he doesn't want to talk and i don't want him to really stay if he doesn't want to but if he actually said no and wanted to hang up...i'd be upset then too.
ugh. i hate this. i felt like crying...and for not much reason.
i hate this so much.

//edit.
its amazing how the simplest thing can cheer me up just like that or ruin my day.
at least things got better.
i hate it when i overthink...then he makes it all better. sigh.

This post has been edited by stephinika: Oct 26 2005, 01:14 AM

[yukichan]

dear cB diary..
the blog russell wrote on his myspace makes me think a lot..it helps me understand how he feels..and i guess in a way, i kind of feel the same way..
2000 ppl have already died in the war..and to me, for no "real" cause..i mean, i support all the armed forces, but i dont the support the cause of the reason y we r in Iraq..I have no clue why im writing this, but ever since i read russell's blog, i cant stop thinking about it..

ive changed sooo much this year..its like i dont know myself anymore..if someone asked me if i considered a career in the military i would have told them no, but now, im considering joining the air force..
im really going to miss all the seniors in ROTC when they graduate..i wish i could have met them earlier...sigh..

im doing sooo bad in school right now..i probably failed my math test..i really dont care about grades right now..i know i should, but i dont..i dont feel motivated..only j can motivate me..

idk, but im starting to wonder if j is really the guy for me..i mean, i like him and all, but something tells me, its going to end like all my past relationships..i know i should give him a chance, but i feel really nervous..i hope things go good...

guess thats it..good night..

--Nancy--

[Heewee]

I'm not in a good mood at all. I haven't been in a good mood in awhile. It's not that I'm angry or mad....just upset and sad. Last week I was told that I'm going to have to get a pacemaker in order to save my life but the doctor doesn't know if that'll solve my health problems. I'm really scared. I don't want to die. I guess I just have to have faith. But with all the shit that I've been put through since July, it's kind of hard to find faith. Hug anyone?