Lost you |
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 Oct 21 2005, 04:28 PM
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#1
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SOS Brigade!!  Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775  |
Hmm been a while since I've actually wrote a poem and posted it up in the writing section. But hope you enjoy this. Not that great but haha can't stop someone from doing something that they enjoy.
I gave it all away for the money & fame I traded you for all the goods in life but then the bad times rolled and all was stripped away then all I thought about was you knowing that you were more precious because when bad times rolled you would've held on now I know how precious you are because I have lost you. |
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Oct 21 2005, 04:30 PM
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#2
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 Im Gavin HI!! Group: Member Posts: 802 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 111,644 |
=( thats kinda sad... why did she/he trade it all??
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| *mipadi* |
Oct 23 2005, 08:28 PM
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#3
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It tells more than shows--always a bad tactic in writing. Why not show how things were bad when the person was lost, rather than tell?
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| *torngemini* |
Oct 24 2005, 07:39 PM
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#4
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well sometimes the feelings of the poet is what needs to be expressed if they want to tell the story then they can. that's the beauty of poetry
it makes me more curious though, I have to admit, what the story behind it is ;) |
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