createblog diary, v.6 Options

[*mzkandi*]

originally started by faithin_felix.

version1
version2
version3
version4

Most of you know the drill. Comment and/or quote someone elses entry but you must also make your own.


Dear cB,
My first quiz is tommorrow. I may have to pull an all-nighter tonight. Hopefully not....

[islandkiss]

Dear mr lovely,

we're falling apart. I'm still waiting to hear those three lovely words escape your soft, gentle lips. It's already been awhile since the last time you said you loved her. apart of me still feels that you do. Are you into me at all? You make me feel lost and all those mixed messages are taking a toll on my heart. It just doesn't feel right. Maybe i;m just wasting my time and feelings on you. Maybe if I gave it time things would change for the better.

[Looow]

Steph, Yesss lots of fun. Ahhh we MUST talk on the phone. I misss it.

Dear cB Diary,

Today was Anthony's birthday. Gosh, sweetest guy. I made him a birthday card (Actually, Kevin helped). Yeah it was a woman popping out of a cake in the front. He told me he wanted me popping out of a cake for his birthday so I decided I'd make him a card like that. I colored it and put it in he's locker. He liked it. Hmm yeahh.Vanessa and I are going to buy him a present or something later.

I love Wednesday. Yayy tomorrow is a wednesday. No P.E or Math. Mr. Wing is such an a-hole sometimes. Actually, he's been okay lately. Aww the other day in spanish, my friend hit me in the face/head with his notebook and I wasn't in a good mood so I slapped him and punched him. The in math, I did it again. I wasn't talking to him the whole period but sorda in the end he sent me this note saying " I'm Sorry for hitting you!!" It was sweet.

My sister is over right now and I'm happy. Hmm I wonder if she's coming to live with us again. I can't imagine living with her again. Just so weird. We got used to it. Ahhhh.

Today after school I hung out at the mexican wall for a little with lauren, then she left and i stayed talking to some dudes. they're really nice. yeahh then i went home and tried to fix my stupid computer. damn shit. yeah anywayyy

bye.

[*lolita kitty*]

dear cB diary,
GUESS WHAT? ITS SEX-ED WEEK IN SCHOOL! WOO-HOO!
ok, i got that out.

yeah, me and the whore 4 were all happy about that today. the whore four is a nickname we made up for ourselves, but now that im there we have to do 5, but we still choose 4. anyway, we were joking about it the whole lunch.
then we pulled out my phone and called the loser line for fun, and left a horny message. wow, what freaks we are.
leah wan't here. poo, imiss her. she is like one of the nicest people at charter. well nothing much to say. the sex-ed teacheris really sweet. shes about 23, and works at sutter health downtown. yeah.
today was boring as hell. me and mom talked.
i need to send out my invitations really bad..

ok, im done
- cassie

p.s, oh yeah, amd me and patricia might go to the jingle ball at arco. i really want to, that would be awesome! i heard them advertize it over the radio last night.

[TheReasonWhy]

dear cB,

i can't believe i actually did this today. i lied to Janet and Twinky..omg...duno what they are going to do to me if they found out...i a total mess

.jessie

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
Nothing gets better. Nothing. One bad thing after another bad thing. How wonderful. Then again there is no one to blame but myself. Myself for being stupid. Making stupid decisions. Saying stupid things. All this pain and hardship I'm going through I brought upon myself. Which makes me even more stupid than I was to begin with. It's my fault I cry myself to sleep every night. It's my fault I'm failing classes. It's my fault I keep getting in trouble. It's my fault he left me. It's all my fault. It's always my fault. I'm so sick of trying. I'm sick of trying to keep relationships together, trying to heal them, mend them, keep them strong. It doesn't work; it doesn't pay off. I'm sick of trying to do well in school, of trying to get good grades. I'm tired of trying to be a good daughter because somehow I always screw it up, I never please them. I'm tired of trying to be there for everyone especially when no one is really there for me. I'm tired and sick of it all. I'm done. I don't care anymore. Why is this happening? Honestly, why? Two years of hell, depression, whatever else, and in trade, only 3 months of happiness? How is that fair? HOW? And then that that made me happy is taken away and again with the hell and depression. How long is this expected to last? Another two years? Four years? Forever? Seriously. I'm so sick of it. Why? Why can't I be happy or don't I deserve to be happy? What the hell did I do that was so wrong? Yeah, I admit, I've made a lot of mistakes, I know that, I regret them, but still. I really do know why this is happening. Again, God is teaching me something, wants me to lean on him. But guess what? It's not working. It's only breaking me down, making me weaker. I can't do this. I know, God will only give you burdens that he knows you can handle but I don't feel like I can handle this. It all comes down to me wanting him back. I want him back. I can't get over him. I still cry over him everyday, he's all I ever think about, he's the only person I pray for, I always talk about him...I don't want to. I don't want this. I don't. Just give me him back please. I've learned my lesson, really I have. I'm not one of those type of people who need to learn something over and over again for it to stick. I get it. I know I did wrong. Hell, I blame the whole relationship on no one else but myself. Please. Give me him back. I don't want to cry every night. I don't want to disappoint people, lose their trust. I just want him. I need him. I love him. I miss him. Why doesn't he see that? Why didn't he know that? Why didn't I show it enough? WHY? Why did we get in that fight? Why did he say those things? Why doesn't he talk to me? Why doesn't he think of me? Why isn't he torn up like I am? Why? WHY? My heart aches, hurts, yearns for him. I'm not even kidding. I'm not overexaggerating. Nothing is going right and it progressively continues to get worse. I hate when people tell me, "It's going to get better." NO. It's not. There are so many more things that could happen and I KNOW they are going to happen. It's going to get worse. I accept it. I'm just trying to cope. I'm trying. I'm so sick of trying! I never get it right. I'm always trying to get it right and never succeeding. It's going to get worse, it's already gotten worse. I'm different now. I've changed. I hate that I keep changing, changing into this person I promised I would never become, this person who I just dislike with a passion. Worse and worse and worse, things become progressively worse and it's breaking me.
-Me.

[yukichan]

dear cB diary..
YAY!! He asked me to military ball!!And on my birthday too...I'm in a really, really, really, good mood..I can't believe he asked me..It happened yesterday, but I'm still really, really happy..Now, I can't wait to go to Military Ball with him..Hehe..It took like 15 minutes for him to ask..Well, probably because I was running away..Lol..Can't wait till I talk to him tomorrow...Now a bunch of people are wondering who I'm going Military Ball with..Lol...I was going to ask him out, but then I was nervous and ya, so he ended up asking me..Lol..
Yesterday was my birthday..I think its the best birthday I ever had..I still can't believe he asked me...Lol..
I think dad had something up his a**..Seriously..He was yelling at me and pounding on the table just because I didn't start washing the dishes..Seriously..He needs to relax..I don't deserve his sh**..Just because things arent going well for him, I dont deserve to get yelled at..
I think I'm high on something..I feel really happy..Wonder how long I'll be feeling this way..Now I feel like I can face tomorrow without being nervous..Lol..
So tired..I did so horrible in drill, that it wasnt funny..I need to practice with my uniform shoes..I can turn and do all the moment in my normal shoes, I just cant do them in my uniform shoes..Its so uncomfortable..And it hurts my feet...
I think I'm going to sleep early..I feel super tired...K, well good night..
--Nancy--

[islandkiss]

i'm over him- -

but now I'm in love with him. You told me you liked me just yesterday. so what happened? i'm just so tired of getting my heart broken. i've been hurt enough. but anyway. I want you. bad.

[Teesa]

Dear CB Diary,
So after I completely broke down and told my counselor about everything, I felt so much better. She completely understood me and told me it was okay to feel what I was feeling and sometimes it's necessary to just have a good cry. She also told me that there was no way "they" were letting me drop I.B. now that I've made it this far. That made me feel so much better because I was so ready to quit..it seems silly after three years of it, but I was. Everyone has said these past two weeks have been awful, and it seriously has. But the test will be over fall break. There is SO much to do, and I'm not looking forward to most of it. College apps and essays are going to be..ugh! And my extended essay..now that I've changed my subject area, I'm going to have to tweak it a lot. So, that should take a couple days at least.

I officially gave my two weeks notice at work today. Funny, a couple weeks ago, I would have been saying hell no! to the thought of quitting work. But I have realized that even though I only work once a week, I need that extra day to catch up on last-minute school work and myself. My grades are really suffering, and any extra time will be really beneficial.

I have to work my butt off the next couple quarters..and I (hopefully) will be ready.

--Teesa

[*stephinika*]

lorena, if i can this weekend, i'll let you know!

dear cb diary,

hm. i'm excited for tomorrow...it seems so far away still, sigh. but yeah, i'm excited but a bit nervous still...understandably but things will be fine i think...i just wish my parents weren't so FCUKING RETARDED.
grr.

[redpeony]

dear cB diary,

Wow, he is goooood at winning hearts. I love the fact that my mom thinks he's so polite, and that he called me when I was cooking =p. I love how I have his sweater, hehehe. I love how we've overcome our stupid petty little arguments... and I feel confident about this again. I love him.

[silver-rain]

Dear CB Diary,
ACTs tomorrow. Yikes, haven't really studied for it: just took 2 practice tests and did fairly well on the (usually around 30). Hope that holds true for the actual test.
Bleh, about 1 week till the ED deadline. I hope my teachers wrote the recs, need to go remind them! Grr. I also need to perfect my essay. Double grr.
It was nice seeing Stephen today, even though it did seem quite like every other time we get to see each other and routine. But I missed him. I might see him tomorrow too, so that's good. 11 months tomorrow... I sent my present in the mail hah. Hope he gets it.
I'm confused about this one guy in practically half my classes. We seem to be good friends, but I dunno. We're really touchy-feely and friendly and stuff with each other and I don't know what to do. Bleh, I'll see what happens...

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

ah, such good times today.

went to his place at 1ish...now that was fun. a lil' disappointed in myself because i didn't follow through with my 'plan'...when i think about it in advance, i can see myself doing it but when the time comes i get oddly nervous/shy/i don't know...sigh. i want to but...i'm weird. at least i've gotten past it a bit thats for sure haha...but yeah, his house was fun. i love him.
after that, went to that costume/party place and met up with paul/kaitlyn. that was fun. that place was so awesome, and i bought my bunny ears/tail/bowtie! haha it was great.
after that, grabbed some panago pizza then some gelato at this awesome place before heading to kait's.
marcela and fader showed up later and we went in the hottub for awhile. good fun.
some stupid drama with other people over the phones happened but whatever, i don't care.
i wonder where adrian is...should be home but he's not on the computer...weird.

[jennyjenny]

Dear Createblog Diary,

I guess I haven't been in the greatest moods lately.

I can go for a good cry right now.

But I doubt that will make me feel better.

[Looow]

Dear cB Diary,

Meh this week was weird. Yesterday was alright. My computer died on me again. Ughh I want to throw this computer away, it sucks.

I'm still craving curly fries, dammit. Jackie and I were about to cut class but we got caught. We decided to stay in the girls bathroom the whole time because if we got caught around the halls, we would have been suspended. besides, we couldnt go back to class and be late. we would have gotten detention. yeahh i didn't even get a call saying i was absent to third period. eh, i won't be attempting to cut again for a while. unless, christie wants to. i've only done it twice. maybe three. i forget. however, its not like i skip class when theres something important to do. some people skip class just to miss a test or not to work on an assignment. i don't. i mean, its just worse for me. i'm going to have to catch up later so yeah.

ah yesterday my parents woke me up at like 5am. they were arguing and i got sooo pissed off. god dammit. oh yeah, alex j woke me up too at 10:00am exactly. he's stupid. he was like " did i wake you up? yay yay yay yay. kay bye" usually anthony wakes me up. however, he hasn't done it for a while.

i have so much biology homework. yeah, i should probably get started on that soon. i don't know why my group and i didn't stay after school to work on it. we're kind of dumb. lol hmm after school i hung out with tuan, precilla, and steve. it was funny, actually. yeahh. hung out till like 4:30 just talking.

kay that was just a whole bunch of rambling. bye

[Teesa]

Dear CB Diary,

Thank goodness it's finally fall break! It's a needed break. I just need to sort out everything and have time for myself to gather thoughts and whatnot.

Yesterday was fun. Having no t.o.k. is wonderful..I can't wait until next semester. Anyways, I went to Matt's and we watched Saw. Well, actually I watched most of it, because he fell asleep. Haha. Then, Christie and Laura came by and we watched Desperate Housewives. What a lovely show! Then, I went home and watched the Avs. They won =]

This morning, I took the ACT's again. Don't know if I did better, but hopefully, I did. Then, I went to the library and got some books for research and college. After that, I slept for a little bit and woke up and went to Chipotle :) I came home and watched some of Love Actually <3 The Avs game was next and I was soo excited for it. Too bad they lost :( but it was a good game.

My brother came home and I haven't seen him for like two months! It was really nice seeing him. Too bad he's leaving tomorrow again. Ah, well, I have to work anyway. I'm kind of nervous about going to work. Not because of him or anything, just because I don't want to say that I'm leaving. It was hard enough saying it to a few people, so I don't want to do it anymore. *sighh*

Okay, that was enough of an update.

--Teesa

[*tweeak*]

I kind of regret not going to his party...but at the same time I'm glad i didn't, because I'd have spent the whole night making fun of the many people I don't like and hanging around akwardly watching people I don't like hanging on those whom I do like. At the party i attended, many of them may think I'm very dumb, and my detachment to someone made me uncomfortable at times, but at least I know they enjoy my company. i may have hung around mainly one person, but at least they weren't the host and not attracting other people...not that she wasn't with him, but not being a guy it's quite different so yeah

[redpeony]

dear cb diary,

it's currently 1:12... so okay this weekend was one of the greatest of my life (maybe not ultimately but it did make me very happy).

Friday night ----- and ---- came over and we watched Kicking and Screaming and then Sisterhood of the Travelling pants. Finished the movies at about 1.. listened to some music and chatted.. then at 3:30 we got hungry so we went upstairs and cooked udon and beef and chicken adn fish balls (THEY ARE COOKED BUT JUST FROZEN I TELL U) and started pigging out.. they had cookies and milk too hahaha... ($203!! LOLOLOLLOLOLH AHAHAHAHA) after that we felt disgusting and started improperly exercising like crazy.. finally got into bed at 4:30 and fell asleep at 5ish.

Woke up at 8am saturday morning with a crazy uncomfortable neck after 'MAH PO' with 2 other fatsos in a queen size bed hhahaha. rushed off to work and did 8hrs.. funfunfun, i love my manager she is insanely awesome. bought a chicken laying egg keychain and found out my employee discount.. sweet, i think i'll be buying a lot more from now on.

i got off work and daddy came to pick me up and drove me home. then ---- came to my house and my parents talked to him about my grades and stuff (lol i'm embarrased but also sort of happy that they care and maybe show him a little bit the he can't play with my heart) and then we went to Moxie's on broadway to watch the hockey game and eat and chill.. then went to vanier park and chilled some more.. aka i took a nap because i was almost dead from working 8 hours today off 3 hours of sleep. and then we talked and chilled some more and we almost came home on time (my dad was extremely anal and said i was 7 minutes late )

but anyway... good times, awesome people.. good clean fun for the first time in a few weekends.. yay

dear Lord.. his kisses make me feel alive.
ilovehim.

No one else comes close to you
No one makes me feel the way you do

[*jooleeah*]

Dear cB diary,
I feel like shit.

[*Tainted Euphoria*]

Dear cB diary,

At the moment, I wish I wasn't me.

[*mzkandi*]

Dear cB,

Now I am pretty sure I will change my major, I have no passion for what I am doing now. I should have stuck to what my heart told me I really needed to do instead doing what I thought everyone else wanted.

K

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
help
-Me.

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog diary,

I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore. I used to be so sure of everything I did, but now I'm just confused. I don't know what to do with my life, don't know how to handle the bullshit high school drama, don't know how to react to anyone anymore, don't even know my own emotions. Some days, I'm focused and motivated, others I'm utterly miserable. I suppose this is one of the latter, so how do I get out of this rut..?

- Me.

[silver-rain]

Dear CB Diary,
So, SAT scores are up tomorrow... I'm really nervous/anxious/worried about them, even though there's nothing that I can do. This was my last chance to hope to go to a good college, and I know that if I did worse, I will be disappointing me, my parents, Stephen, everyong.
There's always the ACT though...
My parents annoy me all the time. I KNOW that Nov. 1 is coming closer and closer. I KNOW that I should finish my app, I KNOW!. Arg, just stop. I can't wait till after Nov. 1, then maybe I can have a little more free time. Thinking about college stresses me out. Oh, and there's the fact that I'm almost failing calculus...

[islandkiss]

kill me noww.

why are boys so confusing. but anyway, my birthday is just two days away. And you probably already know who I want.

[yuna*]

dear cb,

i'm..
so.
tired.

freakin sister woke me so early