createblog diary, v.6 Options

[*lolita kitty*]

dear cb diary,

i loved today. it was relaxing. i love wednesdays. school starts late. 1 1/2 hrs late, every wednesday. i also found out i have no school monday. weeee.

1st period- boring. i was tired. jessica kept telling me how much she loved my knee-high socks. she thought they were hello kitty, but they were actually skull and crossbones. haha.
2nd period- boring. we just worked the whole class. me and geni wrote notes in eachother agendas.
3rd period- fun. me+brandi+cathy made up, and then me and cami danced. our dance teacher gave us a free day, so we just ran around the room and played. i felt like a little kid.
lunch- SO AWESOME. tori brought her dvd player and pirates of the carribean, and her+me+cami+ashley sat there and watched t the whole time while eating. johnny depp = hothothot. these two boys kept having rolling backpack races, and then one of the high schoolers yelled at them and they got scared and went away. i ate chips, a sandwich, and a gatorade.
4th period- mr shumpelt gave us worksheets to work on, but instead me and sophia sat there and made those origami stars. she bought this paper for it. then she told me she was gonna get me some for my birthday, yay! i also taught cami how to make them, but she kept messing up.
5th period- ballett was so fun. it was excersize day, and we did these really weird stretches. emily and me acted like frogs.
6th period- blah. we did a worksheet.

dad just brought home jack&thebox, and im gonna go eat my curly fries. byebye <3

[redpeony]

It's only still the beginning of the school year and I am already getting that feeling of being hopelessly lost, out of control and stressed.

I just can't get down to doing homework.. I'm falling behind already at school. I guess it's been drilled into my head that it's not really worth it. I've always gotten by without doing it. I really need to give myself a big pep talk-- this is grade 12... if I don't do well I'm screwed.

Then again maybe I want to be screwed. Maybe I want to go into photography, despite what my parents say. I don't want to play it 'safe'... I don't think I want my life to consist of just going to work 9-5 and then coming home and spending time with my family. I mean... maybe some say that's fulfilling... but is it really? I know there has to be more to getting the most out of life than that.

I probably don't appreciate it because I've had all that I've ever needed growing up. My parents work hard, earn money and I get to do things I love. They buy me musical instruments, photography materials, clothes I want... everything. Money has never been an issue. That's what makes me want to slap myself. As Trev said, "there's really no excuse to screw up". I didn't like his attitude about that... but it's true.

I need some motivation. Maybe I can use him as my motivation. If not him... hockey, at least? Photography? Why do none of these things motivate me enough for me to work hard? These are things I supposedly love... so why won't it work to get me to work harder?

What the frick is wrong with my work ethic...

AHHHHHHH

And I really need to start being more caring and tuning into my friend's problems. Not be so wrapped up in myself.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon,
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may
Not so much seek to be consoled as to console,
Not so much to be understood as to understand,
Not so much to be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
It is in dying that we awake to eternal life.

[*jooleeah*]

Dear Createblog Diary...

Every day of this week has sucked. I feel like I'm wasting my life away.

Things in the cB chatroom feel different. I feel like people don't like me anymore, just because I don't go in as often. Maybe I've been bitchier there or something. Or maybe I'm just imagining things. Hrm.

I hope Grandma and Grandpa feel better. Maybe they will remodel their house. I hope they do. That house is in need of some major repairing.

After tomorrow...four day weekend. Maybe I'll hang out with THE group.

</3.
Edit://

Hooray. I made staff.

[silver-rain]

Dear CB Diary,
I feel as if I'm getting even more stupid... I did horribly on my practice SATs, and it's making me wonder if I'll do that badly on the actual test. I really hope not, seeing as this test will either make or break my college decisions. There is always the ACT, but I don't want to rely on that. I feel so unmotivated though...
And, I've stopped caring about school as much. It's as if senioritis has hit early and hard, and I don't seem to be doing anything. I have a BC Calculus test tomorrow, and I haven't even started studying... Bleh, I need to pull myself together.
I'm also lost about college apps, I just want to get them over and done with.

[ichiban]

dear cb diary,

during social studies, i heard one of the disabled kids crying outside the classroom and it just made me really sad ... i feel so bad for them, they have to be so different from us and not be able to have all the friends they want and maybe not such a good future ... >.<

it's weird, the day i find his xanga, he starts updating like ... daily. um, okay, well, that was pretty random. haha, im such a loser, i like someone that doesnt even know who i am. i dont think this has ever happened before ... usually the person i like is someone im somewhat friends with, but i've only talked to him once in my life and that was to say hi. and he was only saying hi to be nice. ha.. well, i guess i want him to notice me, but i don't know how? eh. during the summer while i was reading this book, i got really bored and made a list of all the things i want in the perfect guy ... and is it just me, or does he match most of that list? well, i was sort of thinking of him when i made it, but still... lol. im a retard, i swear. im hopelessly infatuated with some guy three years older than me.

tttch.

school is as boring as .. the wall. at least we levitated people today :D ahh, i miss that. and i talked to james for the longest time yesterday about our 'love lives.' funny .. lol

the guys in my grade are so immature ... i hate it.

but, oh well.

[*jooleeah*]

Dear cB diary,
I feel coooool being a mod. Whee.

WHEE! FOUR DAY WEEKEND BABY<3

[Nicolatofu]

Dear cb diary thing-

Wow, I've actually gotten to catch up on things around here. Fall break is gonna be boring. Oh but I do get to take Jason out shopping! It's fun taking guys shopping =P I can't wait until we start getting child support back. He owes over $10,000. I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to get ideas for how I'd like to decorate my room and they had all these christmas-y things. I can't wait until the holidays come!

[KELLYYY]

Dear cB Diary,

Today's the Mandarin test at chinese school. I didn't study. All I know is the Mandarin alphabet. Boo.

I saw Stephen afterschool. He's wearing the pants that I love. Like omg. I envy Stephen.

Love,
Kelly

[BrokenDream]

heh. so today was good. haha. I am on a break from Xanga! yay! I have been waiting so long. I didn't want to make the xanga fans too sad, haha. here's what we did today:

first period(Athletics): wow. we barely did anything but basketball. it was fun though. Lindsay kept attacking me with the ball. pfft, what a noob! haha. Ilu<3 Lindsay.

second period(Language Arts): it was boring. we just worked on some worksheets that are due this Thursday. *yawn* I'd rather chew off my own foot. .. maybe not, but I'd rather do anything but assignments, lol.

third period(Computer): oh my gahh, Jesus! this girl would simply not leave me alone. I think I can take care of my own assignments. I mean, you are a little wierd to my other friends. it's freaky.

fourth period(Tx. History): ahhh. I got moved by a cool kid. a cool boy kid that is. and I was nervous. Lindsay was two seats beside me. that's the good news! now we can talk more often. well, all we did was Review work for a test. blehhh.

fifth period(7th grade Math): stupid. stupid. stupid. that's all. at least no homework today<3

sixth period(Science): I love him yes I do. I love him yes I do. I couldn't focus, no, no, no, because I love him so, so, so. haha. it's that crush I have been talking about for awhile.

seventh period(Reading): what a bore! we read the novel.
-Me

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

god, he is amazing. there's just something about him...
life for the most part is good. there's the usual school stress and my schedule is nuts this year...going to the job fair at the mall next week, ack! i need a job but i'm so busy...with a job PLUS everything i already have i'll have like..no free time. sigh.
i love him, i love him, i love him.............

its still occuring to me that i'm in grade 12 too. its weird. i'm effing graduating this year...
what the crap.

[emazing]

Dear cB Diary,

I sort of love my grades right now. :X Except for Science. I re-took the quiz though, and I turned in most of my classwork, so hopefully it should raise.

History - A.
L.A. - A.
P.E. - A+.
Phys.Science - C-. [Haha .]
Algebra - A-.
Environmental Science - A.

woohoo(;.

[*salcha*]

Dear cB Diary,

Happy lonely Birthday. You're 15 now...
more responsibilities, higher grades, more confidence. I have to keep my head up. My grades are dropping, what happened to that 4.0 I promised myself? What happened to making singles during the tennis season? What happened to not crying over stress?

Too much to handle. Better enjoy this year.

-Me

[*lolita kitty*]

dear cb diary,

i am going to try and prove myself. not only to them, but them also.
i had a detention today. poo. i hate detention. but ashli was there, so it wasn't completely boring.
*sigh* i need to make a birthday wishlist. my dad keeps asking for it. november 1st, baby! can't wait.

im too tired to write anymore. g'night ;]

[ichiban]

dear cb diary,

i just wrote a really long entry about how much i wanted to go to new york but my parents won't let me, and then my internet got disconnected so it didn't get added, and i'm already so pissed off, and now i just want to cry even more. gosh, why am i always left out on everything? now i'm just going to be left out when everyones talking about NEW YORK! and all the events, and i'm just like, whaat? and it had to be that ALL of my good friends are going, and they'll have created some pretty awesome memories and i'd have .. none with them. i wanted this so bad.

as of this moment, i hate my life.

[silver-rain]

Dear CB Diary,
OMG, the SATs are tomorrow. This is my last and only chance to prove to myself, my parents, colleges, everyone that I'm not really stupid, and that I can and will do well. I really need to do well on this test, arggg.
I believe I can, I believe I can...

[KELLYYY]

Dear cB Diary,

Ah lerng is coming to sleepover tomorrow. I haven't seen her in forever.

My mom's still not home. She said she was going to come home very quick. LIES.

Love,
Kelly

[redpeony]

When I'm at work, I always feel so good about my life. Maybe that's why I like it so much.

As I was going through the sale stuffies today, highlighting the price tags with that pink marker, I thought to myself: "you know what, self? I'm pretty lucky and my life is pretty darn sweet right now.

I've got a steady job that keeps me on my feet and is still there despite my 'not calling back' tendencies. I don't even need the money, because my parents have worked hard and they are so giving and loving towards us. I've got a boyfriend who I know really cares about and cherishes me, and I know I feel the same way about him. I've found myself a hobby in photography that I love more than anything and actually passionately enjoy. The years of piano have finally paid off and I find myself able to relax my soul and just play. I have a few friends who I could trust with my life and know that they love me for just who I am. I volunteer and it's extremely rewarding, and the disabled adults that I spend time with give me this complete sense of acceptance that I really would not be able to find anywhere else. Hockey is back, and that just means a little extra something to look forward to."

It's times like these when I just need to sit back, reflect on the positives and smile.

Thanks, God.

[Looow]

Dear cB Diary,

Today was the WORST Saturday ( NO, DAY) of my life. I have never shaked like this. It was horrible.



SUNDAY:

What the f**k. I'm so tired of his bullshit. I am done with our friendship. I give up, really. I'm so tired of it..

..

[*stephinika*]

^^
loo:

dear cb diary,

yesterday was fun. yay for spending so much time with him...it went by much too quickly though. sigh. i miss him already, ugh.

[Teesa]

We love you Lorena!


Dear CB Diary,
I think my friends and I are just tired. About everything..we just want to leave. And I am so angry that I can't get a letter of rec from my psych teacher. This definitely taught me a lesson on procrastination.

--Teesa

[Looow]

Goodness. I love Stephanie and Teesa, really.

Dear Createblog Diary,

Oh god. I feel like I seriously can't live without him. No no, it's nothing like that. It's just that uhggg. I feel like screaming. I've never felt this way. I'm just really mad at him right now. I really feel like im losing my best friend. Oh god. Why am I crying?

Okay, it might not be only this that's making me feel so fhgf but it just makes everything thats going on even worse..I hate it when all these bad things occur all at ONCE. God..

[Aoiro]

Dear cB Diary,

You don't know how much I'm obsessing over anothet guy now! It's kind of odd really... He was at R's brother's birthday party! He lloked so different from last year. He's cuter, too... And he still has that cross from last year, which he says he always wears. It's pretty sad that he doesn't remember J, R, and me. It's been like a one year anniversary, ya know? And sadly, I won't get to see him again until next year! If nothing goes wrong... Well, at least he's going to I. He's so sweet! Oh, and C, you should definately remember him! The guy J was tyring to hook you up with? If you don't remember, just PM me and I'll show you a picture. I miss him so much...

Countdown for C's birthday! Er... 22 days? Yupperz. Can't wait for the party. Definately going to be fun.

Nothing is really happening at school. It's just... Boring. Everything is so slow. Quiet, and barely even moving...

[ichiban]

dear cb diary,

im not really liking.. all of this. i dont like how the guy i like doesn't know me. it's so stupid, that i even like him, but .. nonetheless, i do.

i just wish something interesting would happen. seriously.
but NOT drama, please not drama -_-

bleeck

[*stephinika*]

lorenaaaa ilu too. feel better darling!

dear cb diary,

its weird. it bothers me so much that he said that to her but...nothing to me when i was right there. its not big deal really but it bugs me all the same. i shouldn't care...at all. it kind of reminds me of my past situation but i'm just playing a different role, that's all.
its all so ... oddly surreal.

[pbear]

dear cBdiary,

i'm tired. i wish nothing had ever happened. i wish i could forget. i wish i could forgive. i wish i could talk. i wish we could still be friends.
i wish we could both be happy at the same time.

-Linda