createblog diary, v.6 Options

[*mzkandi*]

originally started by faithin_felix.

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Most of you know the drill. Comment and/or quote someone elses entry but you must also make your own.


Dear cB,
My first quiz is tommorrow. I may have to pull an all-nighter tonight. Hopefully not....

[Aoiro]

Well here's my answer to all your complaining.

Deark CB Diary,

I have problems?! When did I have problems?! When did I ever take them out on you. Tell me. WHEN. Dude, criticizing isn't bad. Hello, I get criticzed to ya know. EVERYONE DOES. I correct everyone. Seriously, I do. Ask anybody or everybody. And I give you CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. Which is supposed to improve or help you. And just because I corrected you about Lolita, you get pissed off. Correcting HELPS. SO YOU LEARN. I make you look bad? From what? Call me up right now, and tell me how I am in "deinal, being a hypocryte, and stereotyping". First of all, you are exactly the same. You ARE in denial when all of us from NMS try to help you. You ARE a stereotyper, because you stereotype all asians, all rockers, everyone. You ARE a hypocryte because first you say you are not a fan of rockers, but then you TRY to be one. You said you were going to be one, but ya know what? You can't be a rocker overnight. You can't just wake up and say, "HEY!! I'M GOING TO BE A GIRLY GIRL TODAY, AND TOMORROW, A ROCKER! SQUEE!"

Good that you're happy. Happiness is good. Being with your other "bff" is great with me. Especially since you won't bother us anymore. But do I care that you were getting away from me? People actually don't care if you left NMS or not, that you care anyways.

Yes, I could do all of that if I wanted to, which what we both are doing, but hey, we're both rude, aren't we? Yes and no, you didn't do anything to me. A reason to quote what I say? So that you wouldn't erase what you truly meant and pretend that you weren't being, how do you say, rude? Hiding it so that people will think you are trying to defend yourself from a mean, rude, dispicable, person, which you say is, me. You are always everywhere I go, too. When did I yell to you at school? TELL ME. I only yell at you when you piss me off, or you just won't get anything through to your f**kin' skull. I continue, because people ask why the hell am I pissed off. Everyone obviously knows it's because of you. The reason I joined CB is because yes, I WAS bored. I only posted now because I AM bored. Gaia isn't interesting nor fun anymore, because nobody isn't on anymore. f**k no I'm not addicted. If I were, I'd be on all day, like you, and post in every single thread that has ever been made. I'd make friends, and such. But I'm not. I'm just here to discuss what I care about, because frankly, I'm bored.

There is no point of quitting CB. There was even no point of saying it. Quitting something just because someone else is on there, too, and who is annoying, is the worst god damn reason to quit. That's why I never quit Gaia.

Tricky, eh? So are you. Yes, you are right that I joined CB because I was bored, and nothing else. Now being a show off?! f**k NO. I hate getting attention. YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT. Hey, we all know you want attention. We know that you pretend to be all nice and sweet on the internet, but do people seriously know you in real life? I've asked Jenny N. about how you acted before I met you when we started to be friends, just to know a little bit about you. Do you even know what the hell she said? There's no point in telling people how you really are, because people wouldn't believe me and because people don't know me that well. Go figure. Wow, making you laugh. Nice, I made you laugh. Yay. But I hate attention. I hate being in front of class reciting my report. I hate people taking pictures of me. You? You are an attention whore, even if you don't get a lot in real life. You love getting up in class acting all silly so people would laugh with you and notice. You love taking pictures, 'course, you take too many f**kin' pictures everyday of yourself to be known. f**k no I don't. You know I hide my pictures at school. I hate it when people see them, because those are my pictures for my own eyes only, unless I want to show them. Do I? No. I HATE COMPLIMENTS. YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT. Getting compliments on my pictures just makes me mad. Yes, I'm a weird person for feeling like that, but that's how I am. Why you? It isn't just you I rant about. I also rant about Jenny. Why the hell would I go to your MySpace? Why the hell would I care about your Xanga? Yes, I have looked through your CB posts, but I bet you do the same. You told me to my face that you check all my posts on Gaia. I was sure.

And? You always cry about everything. Every time I correct, or even give you constructive criticism, you run away, and cry. Every time. And it's seriously nothing to cry about. Saying you don't care? Yeah right, you do care. That's why you ranted about me. I wish you went away. I wish I never knew you at all. I wish I never showed you everything I have ever known, because you f**kin piss me off. What I did I do wrong? What did you do wrong? We both have something that we hate about each other. Me, I just hate you, the whole god damn thing.

Hey, I could. Maybe I did. You are wrong, yes, you are. But all of us are all wrong, think about that. Think I would tell everybody about our conversation? Only Jaylyn, and maybe Riana and Jenny. Because you know what? They all already know we've been fighting about shit. Hell, I bet you tell Brandi everything we fight about, lie about how mean I am, and cry. At least I don't cry about every single god damn thing that a person has said about me, that was bad. I deal with it, talk back, say what I think.

I'm sad? Oh hell no, your sad. You don't even know the half of it. I don't call you immature, because what's my reason? You do stomp away and get mad. Everyone at school, even Brandi and Jenny know you do that. It's the god's honest truth. 'Cause you seriously do that. I do that with my parents too ya know? See how similar people are. You are always like that. Yes, it is a good thing not to continue on with the argument, but with me, I want to end it, but saying me, as in I am the one who ends it. I want my word in, because if it wasn't, then people would listen to your god damn lie, and go on your side and say how evil a friend I am. But you know what you did? You wrote all your anger into a rant, on a site, where everyone can see. See that? you didn't stomp away today, but you showed everyone about our argument, and lies.

You say I don't care too much. No mater how many times you don't, I know that you do. Hey, at least you know what your are. Frankly, other people are, too, but since we have to deal with each other, we have to talk about us. Do I take it out on you? Why the hell say that? I don't, again, I don't, for the last f**king time. Yes, I am sorry that your god damn brain can't understand that you are my problem for everything, you're the one who even started this, and it's technacially, your doing.

Me? Addicted to CB. Hell no. To get into your thick skill again, I am not. Kay? I like CB as much as I like MySpace, which isn't much, seeing as how I am not a fan of MySpace. Sure, you got mad. You always do. You don't care again. Oh gee, I wonder why you won't stop repeating that god damn phrase, because you do care. Why would I want to be known in CB? Do I care if I am loved of people. I know you do. You back in every single compliment you get here. Go ahead and smile.

Okay, great, we all know your bff is Brandi. And you at least change the subject? Pfft, yeah right. They appreciate you for what? Tell me, what? People from your past know how you really are, and even if your in a different school, it doesn't matter. We all know who you are. We all do, and you can't change that. Your life is that good, eh? Then stop yelling about your mom, saying how unfair it is about how she's treating you and all this crap when your at her house. Ya know what?! She loves you with all her heart, even if you deny it. Even if you say her life is crappy, and yes, she did make those choices and is suffering now, she's trying her best to live on. Ruin you? You're already ruined. Accept that.

Rrrriiiiiggghhtt. Your not going to complain any more. And I'm going to be a girly girl, wearing pink dresses everyday, prancing around, throwing flower petals to ever person I pass. Great, you feel better. Woohoo for getting your side out! W00t! Well, you didn't go to Kristeen, and I probably know why. Either way, to doesn't matter. Well, that didn't happen, did it? So I guess this is how it goes. Go, try ahead and piece back your life together in a new school. Someday, you shall be revealed.

If we're telling each other how we feel, then here it is. YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY PERSON WHO HAS EVER PISSED ME OFF THIS FAR IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE. I NEVER WANTED TO DEAL WITH YOU. I, too, wish you would fo away forever. Gone, so nobody would ever know you here, so nobody would even remember. So everyone would be happy again, and you'd find things your own way, not like trying to figure out what the hell we were saying. Yes, we both hate each other to the longest extent. And? So what? Like you would even read this, but we're all letting it out. So great sarcasm is. See, what I do is go through your whole entry, so I can see your side, and what you think. I write back, and you don't do the same for me. At least we both got what we wanted to say to each other out. Now doesn't that just feel peachy?

Yupperz, I guess I'm done. Don't about it, 'cause this is how I feel. You should hear my side of the story.

But I'm happy at the fact you wrote a long rant, or entry, or something to me. Kudos to you.


Oh yes, and that entry saying you were sorry, you were wrong aboput everything you said and all that shit? It doesn't matter to me, internet talk doesn't work. This fight or argument won't end until we come face to face with our problems. No physical fighting though.
:D

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
Today was a horrible day. Horrible. I'm trying to stop caring. I'm trying to just put a smile on my face. But everything hurts. Everything is wrong. I keep crying. About everything. I'm miserable. I need to be fixed.
-Me.

EDIT.
Scratch that. Today wasn't just a horrible day. It was one of the worst days EVER. I can't remember a more horrible day or week.

This post has been edited by M1SSxCHR1SSY: Sep 21 2005, 02:26 AM

[ichiban]

dear cb diary,

this week of school was the worst. a lot of people are pissing the crap out of me, mostly people that are my good friends or something, so that obviously isn't making me feel too happy. i hate my PE now. i don't like to complain (who does?) but i just really have to say, i hate how everyone is always ditching me or ignoring me for someone else. i mean, i TRY not to do that to other people. the only times i do that are when i'm really pissed off about something. chris is now ditching me for june, who he barely knows. well, i guess he does know her, but still. and timothy just follows him and he always ignores me now. cathy and jessica are like best friends so they dont really care about me. and i dont know jessica that well either. so therefore in flick, i dont really have a friend. it feels like chris only thinks of me as a friend when he needs help on homework or something and he wants answers. and he just ignores me all the time now. i mean, what the heck? and blah, alkdsjflasdf. geez, i'm mad. and the park is so boring now because all the sixth/seventh graders piss us all off and everyone leaves early and some people don't come anymore.

i hate eighth grade.

[Aoiro]

Dear CB,

I'm bored again, so I came here. Today was interesting, especially with our assembly. As always, Jenny won't shut up about random things. Me, Jaylyn, and Crystal just talk. Patrick is getting annoying sometimes.

But today was kind of odd when we were listening to our assembly. I was talking to V about what jobs do we want, and I told him I wanted to be a doctor, even if we I had to stay in college longer, which is fine with me. He then replied he wanted to be in the Air Force, so he could protect me... When I told a few people, all they said was "AWWWW! HE LIKES YOU!" I just stared at them, and shrugged it off. Maybe I will care, but not now...

And D won't satop staring. What's his problem?! Is he still trying to find a girlfriend for C? Eh, whatever. No use at staring at me when I can tell he is.

Right now, I'm just... Well, typing. Don't I always? Besides that, playing some RPGs I never played to pass the time. Maybe I should start on my homework? Probably after SYTYCD.

I guess I'll call J again, because we need to discuss about our shop. 'Til then, another story. Byaz!

[ParanoidAndroid]

Dear CB,
I feel this melancholic wind sweep through me as I took in the news that hurricane Rita will hit the coasts of Texas by Friday. The thought of my two best friends residing there is very discomforting. I do hope they're alright and get to evacuate immediately.
What really bothers me is what do THEY feel. When I talked to them online, they sounded so happy and assuring it was as if they're hiding the pain in their heart. I wonder, how it feels to leave your only home to know it will be ripped to shreds once you come back. It is a pain I can't imagine. A pain that is making me cry.
The true pain that I do suffer is the confusion of whether they ARE going to evacuate or not. I do not want to lose them. All my life the people around me that died are people I couldn't care less for But to think that someone I love and care for is going to die because of an indeciscive decision is gut-wrenching and dismal. I do pray that they're safe.

[cheerbee07]

dear cb diary,
today sucked…went home sick 4th period because I’m an idiot. tried to subconsiously kill myself..didn't mean to take that many..it just happened. couldn’t ask Jacob to homecoming because “she” beat me to it and asked him first…found out that the guy who promised that he would always love me lied. I hate liars with everything I’ve got. I feel so betrayed. I hate my life. I just want to die.

</3 Jess

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
Today was such a hard day. Everyone could see something was bothering me. I couldn't tell like anyone. Only a few people. Why? Because it hurts to say it. It makes it seem more final. I feel like maybe if I don't tell anyone it will go away and he'll come back to me and then I won't need to tell anyone. I'm afraid that's not gonna happen. It was hard to pretend to be alright and to not just break down crying in class. Lucky me I only had two classes today which left me 3 1/2 hours in between them to cry. I seriously cried all day. All f**king day. I went to sleep last night crying, I woke up crying, I drove to school crying, I was at school crying, I drove home crying, I got home and cried. The only time I didn't cry today was during the two classes and when I went to lunch with Grace. Otherwise I was filled with tears. I almost started crying in English today once it started to rain. Silly me, huh? I felt like the heavens were crying because Seho just got buried today and because Phillip and I broke up. I wanted to cry but I held it back. Waited til I got to my car. And I burst. I can't deal with it. I'm trying to be positive and be okay. But I can't. Everything reminds me of him and then that makes me cry to realize that I no longer have him. I want him back. Please God give him back to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm always sorry. But I was only happy with him. I wasn't truly ever happy until I had him. Now it's gone. It was too short. Don't I deserve to be happy? Why God, why? Please. Even while I was with him I might have been hurting but I'd rather hurt and have him than hurt and not because that hurts a million times worse. Please. I need him. I'm sorry. I can change. He needs to know that. I wasn't affectionate enough. I knew that. It's hard for me to open up and be really affectionate but I know that if I got him back I could be Lord. I know that I would be. Only because I wouldn't want to lose him again. Please. I love him. I don't want another bad day like today. I don't want the rest of my days to be like this. Please. Have him call me. Something. I need him. Oh God. I need him. I love him. This isn't over to me. It can't be over to him either. He has to know he's being unfair and hypocritical. Please. Let him see. I can't handle this. I don't want to cry anymore. But I don't want to go numb either. I hate feeling like this. I've felt it for the majority of my life. Please. Let me be happy again. I don't want anything else but him. I don't care about anything else but him. I put him even before me. His wellbeing before mine. Please Lord. Today was too bad of a day and I don't want to spend the rest of forever crying. Everything reminds me of him, us. Everything. I see the color red and I think of his red car. I hear a song and it instantly reminds me of him. I see couples walking by and I start to tear up. I look at my room and it reminds me of him. I can't even stand to be in here. I can't stand to be in my bed where he held me. I can't live like this. Everything reminds me of him, every flipping thing. I need him. Why doesn't he see that? Why doesn't he see that I love him? That I've been there for him and will always be there for him? We didn't get to do any of the stuff we promised we'd do together. We still have so much to do as a couple. All the promises we made. A drive in movie, double dates, prom, Korea...God. None of those things are worth doing without him. I don't even want to be in IB anymore. I want to just give up. If I can't have him I don't want anything. I might as well give up on everything. I want to drop out and have classes with no one I know so I can be secluded and alone. I don't want to be with anyone not even friends. I want to be with him. Only him. Why is this so hard...?
-Me.

[*jooleeah*]

Dear Createblog Diary,
I think this was by far the worst week of school that I've had since the beginning of the schoolyear.

What the f**k is my teacher doing?! Why is he killing us with all this bs called homework? Fucksdhfksjhfsdjkfh

[toodlepops.]

Dear cB Diary,

Ack. Everyone's changing. I want to be like it used to. The good old days. But I can't stop everyone from changing. I wish I could, though. Really.
Anyways, my computer had this friggin breakdown last week. Sheesh. Now I'm all paranoid about the pop-ups. My dad wasn't too pleased about it. I'm cutting down on the comeputer and internet. Blahhh. I can't believe its less than 2 weeks away. I'm scared.

Oh. Do you know how nice it is to be missed by someone? Just to know someone is thinking about you. It's a nice feeling.

[yuna*]

Dear CB,
I GOT MY L LICENSE!!

[toodlepops.]

^


I can hear Nickelodeon

[*jooleeah*]

Dear Createblog Diary,
I'm reading everyone's xangas...they all sound so happy. They have the nicest boyfriends in the world, it make makes me feel...so jealous.

Apparently Lily's boyfriend is amazing. I'm reading his xanga, and each and every word that's on there is just so sweet and amazing. I wish I could find someone like that. Too bad I never will. A hopeless romantic is what I'll forever be.

But I can't forget I have the best friends in the entire world. I mean, that's enough, right? I can't have everything good at once.

Some people are just lucky.

[`SWTWiNKLE3YES]

Dear cB Diary,
i`m sick and tired of all this bullsh_t. i hate two faced, fake and self centered people. is this wrong of me?

[Aoiro]

Dear CB Diary,

I filmed Alex fall. Frickin' hilarious! Oh yes, and I took some pictures of... Well, people.
xD

[BrokenDream]

Dear createblog diary,

Oh wow. I had a very great moment today in 6th period. And 7th period. The guy I like likes me back. I never knew. The only way I found out was because a guy told me. I don't know if he's lieing, but he gives me signs. Signs, like, that he liked me. Like, we laugh together, and we smile. It's a very good feeling. I love the feeling so much. I wish we were together. He was a girlfriend though. Wow, he likes me and he is going out with someone else.. I hope he's not a cheater. I feel a little sorry for his girlfriend, and a little happy. I wish I was in her shoes. Well, maybe tomorrow he will ask me. I don't know. I wish! The dance has passed. Sigh. I wish I went with someone. I didn't go, though. Dances aren't fun without dates..

All I can talk about is him. Jacob. I just can't stop. I'm too into him. I'm too scared to ask how he really feels about me, and his girlfriend. During 6th period, the guy next to me was talking to Jacob, and like.. I heard this voice that said, "want me to tell her?" and Jacob said, "no! not yet." Omg, thats a freaking sign. I cannot believe it.

I'm not obbsessed with Jacob, just love him.
-Melissa

Melissa + Jacob = ?

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
Today was easier. Not seeing everyone and just being alone made it easier. I'm trying to get over it. I think I'm growing numb.
-Me.

[Looow]

Dear cB Diary,
OKay, I'm desperate to let all of this out. This is all going to come out like fhghjsg but f**k it, I don't care. I'm in such such such a bad mood. I couldn't help but cry when he told me that. i don't know. I'm know I'm definitely NOT pmsing so didn't even to think that that was the reaosn why I'm in such a shitty mood lately. I guess its just one of those days where you have everything piled out and it comes out at the wrong time. Ugh. I hate to cry. I'm so tired of it. I hate hate hate this.

I never knew it was a bad thing to meet new people. The whole drifting thing, f**k it. I'm so tired of it. Me andher have been going on and off for two damn years and it just feels so forced. People change. I hate it when it's all being blamed on me. I know its partly my fault but . dsagdsah. I tried so hard to call her and plan things and she didn't. I'm not doing this to get back at her AT ALL. I guess it just came naturally. Now she knows how I FELT. I'm having lunch with her tomorrow and I'm sure that won't make a difference whatsoever.

The whole Francoissessss thing. Ugh He just doesn't get it. I knew it was a horrible idea believing him that he wouldn't get mad when I told him about my problems and guys and whatnot. He told her he wouldn't get mad and now he's telling mee that I'VE changed. Maybe he changed.. I'm always talking to other people? Come on that is not true. & even if I was that doesn't mean he has to stop. sometimes it just feels like his relationship is just like mine with miranda. one way relationship.

I feel piled up right now. There's just so much going. Family problems are rising again again and again. What the hell is going to happen. You can only ignore SO much..ugh I'm tired of this..

I feel like I can't talk to anybody. I wish I had somebody that I could REALLY talk to without feeling completely stupid. A person that I could just spill everything and just cry with. Just a person that would understand what I've been through.

Bye.

<3

[Heewee]

Dear cB,
I hate me. I hate how when people find out how sick I am and about all my health issues they get all sympathetic and shit. I really feel like nobody gives a crap about me. Actually I know that nobody gives a crap about me. I wish people just cared because they actually CARED and not because they feel sorry for me. If that makes sense. I really hate me.

[PinkTrash]

Dear CB diary;

Schools okay noww. Its wierd, its weekly school swings. Last week was amazing.. and I wished it was always like that. Well, I was busing home and Leena called me. Turns out nothing happened to the beetches inside her dance class ;D She told me a girl was missing on Dawes, and we were really worried about the whole thing. She told me that people searched Roy's basement because they thought they were hiding the little girl in there. . Pretty freaky. Then we found out from her mom that the girl was from G.A ! We were so freaked out, it was just really wierd. Knowing that I walked on that street billions of times this summer, alone and with Leena. How Leena LIVED there, like four weeks ago. How, somebody from G.A was missing, it was a complete shock to us. But I came online and Corinne told me that the girl was found >: ) THANKGOD. Turns out, she ran away from home.. I need to tell Leena this >;P

[IamRad]

dear cb diary,

today i IM my friend with a silly word : smelly. she knows im kidding about it toom cause ive said it before. but since shes in a bad mood, SHE TAKES IT OUT ON ME. its like unbelievable. i hate when someone is mad for other reasons, and take it out on their friends.

ugh

[BrokenDream]

I'm heartbroken. It was a lie.. but he still gives me signs. So maybe one day he'll like me. Or, does he already?

[treschicgeek]

[SIZE=1]Dear cB Diary,

The last few weeks have been the absolute worst for me. They only keep getting worse. I don't know, but all of a sudden, I have come to strongly hate my best friend. I can't stand her! I know that I might be acting immature and selfish, but gahd! She complains SO much and I have a feeling she's using me. Like, everytime we go around the school, if we get a sight or go near the place where her "ex" hangs out, we have to turn around and go somewhere else. It sucks too cuz that's where some of my friends hang out, but apparently, I can't go there anymore because of her. She can't even look him in the face or talk to him either. Blah. And she loves, I mean LOVES to rub things in my face. I hate her. Really. And you're probably asking "Gee, if you hate this girl so much, why is she your best friend?" I have an answer to that: Because. We have been best friends for years. I've tried to separate from her, but it just doesn't pull through. Plus, she has a lot of "back up", so if I try to separate, it will somehow backfire on me. Gee. Life sucks. Whoa. That felt good to release. [SIZE=1]

[Teesa]

Dear Createblog Diary,
Yesterday was fun. School wasn't that fun, because I saw him, but classes went pretty well. I love photo class. I love the darkroom and everything about it. That class always puts me in a better mood. After school, I picked up my paycheck and got to talk to a few co-workers. Then, I went shopping. I only got a shirt, some lotion, and face stuff. The rest has to be saved for the rising gas prices. :/
I went to Rohini's house and met with Ozzie, Rachel, and Yang for our O.C. party. Much fun, I missed watching that show! Then, we all headed to Yang's where we met up with Lauren and we watched Never Been Kissed. Lol, that is such a great movie. The night was a lot of fun.
Hmm. I'm looking forward and dreading at the same time going to work. At least it's only once a week now :)

--Teesa

[ClaudelGFX]

Dear CB Diary,

Today is my Bday, im getting old, can i get a hug?:/
-lost O.o

[silver-rain]

Dear CB Diary,
Today was great, and I felt pretty so yay. Hah.
Anyways, I really think I'm screwed for college. The SATs are in about 2 weeks, the ACTs in a month, Early Decision in about a month, akjshd. I really need to ask my teachers about the recs too, because they are important. Sigh, I guess I'll just wait until after my college meeting on Wednesday. Hopefully that goes well, and Ms. Danaher doesn't tell me to change me college choices. Annnd, I need to work on the applications and essays and bleh. I hate this. I cannot wait until 2nd term...