Heartless, This is my song Options

[REBELnDISGUISE]

[v.1]:
Do you know what it's like?
To watch your world fall apart,
Right before your very eyes,
Do you know what it's like?
Can you imagine what it's like?
To lose the love of your life,
Right before your very eyes,
Can you imagine what it's like?

[pre-chorus]:
Look what you've put me through,
All the pain that I feel,
Do you ever stop and think of why,
Why I'm still here and I cry.

[chrous]:
You were heartless when we met,
I touched your body you're so cold,
I thought my love could warm you up,
But I guess it wasn't enough,
You were heartless when you left,
Left me standing in the cold,
I hoped one day you'd come back to me,
But hope isn't enough.

[v.2]:
Do you wonder what it's like?
To be broken into pieces,
By the very one you love,
Do you wonder what it's like?
Can you feel what it's like?
To have your heart ripped on out,
By the very one you love,
Can you feel what it's like?

[chorus]

[bridge]:
I lie in bed all confused inside,
Turn my head look to the side,
I feel your presence next to me,
But no, you not, here...

[pre-chorus]

These tears that flow from my eyes,
Won't go away,
Won't go away,
Don't walk away from me...

[chrous]

[end]

[ApocalypseAelis]

Wow, very nice. I like it. It would sound really good as a song if you found a tune for it or something...

[*mipadi*]

I hate to sound overly mean or critical, but I find it to be rather cliched. The imagery is stale and overused, and there's nothing really "new" in it. It's like a lot of other poetry/lyrics about heartbreak.

[REBELnDISGUISE]

I hate to sound overly mean or critical, but I find it to be rather cliched. The imagery is stale and overused, and there's nothing really "new" in it. It's like a lot of other poetry/lyrics about heartbreak.

LOL. I hecka forgot I posted this. Ahh... it was a long time ago. I don't even remember who it was about. And heartbreak is practically the same in every situation. Your break, you cry, you feel as if you can never love again. You can't change an emotion. Unless you yourself view love in a different way. Tell you what, why don't you try writing a "Heart Borken" piece that is different, unique, and get back to me on that.

[Bobblehead425]

^ haha. borken.

ok sorry.

Anyway, I do like this. But it's nothing that special, it's true what mipadi said, not very original. But I do like it

[*mipadi*]

LOL. I hecka forgot I posted this. Ahh... it was a long time ago. I don't even remember who it was about. And heartbreak is practically the same in every situation. Your break, you cry, you feel as if you can never love again. You can't change an emotion. Unless you yourself view love in a different way. Tell you what, why don't you try writing a "Heart Borken" piece that is different, unique, and get back to me on that.

There's no need to be snooty about it. If you post a piece of writing publicly, you should be prepared for an honest critique.

You can't change an emotion, but you can describe it in different ways. Originality often means taking an old concept and doing something new and refreshing with it.