My Advice On Relationships, TAKE IT Options

[Paradox of Life]

I know robb0 already made a topic, but that was her views of certain problems and these are mine. You can choose to take mine or hers, but yeah, two heads are better than one so don't close my topic. I was in an advice column for my school too. I took some time to compile a bunch of problems that I see appearing quite often but in different variations in the relationships forum and here are my responses to them:

I've been friends with this person for a long time and I've been starting to like them 'more'. Should I tell?

Don't tell them right away. If they don't like you back, you're putting them in an awkward position. And not just at that moment. They're going to be self-conscious around you all the time and you could really ruin your friendship.

Believe me, when I found out one of my good friends had a crush on me, I really didn't feel comfortable around him anymore. If they begin to show signs of liking you back 'in that way', then that's a more appropriate time to tell them or whenever you feel you're close enough friends to tell them without hesitation.

I have an online relationship. Is that good?

If you're younger than 15, I don't think it's a good idea. You're pretty much helpless in having a relationship at that age because you can't drive and you pretty much have no power in your family. It'll be a while until then and your 'online relationship' will be getting in the way of your normal life activities (school dances, dating, etc). And a lot of times, when you're younger, you're more vulnerable (and gullible) to fall for those nasty pedophiles/murderers. If you're 16-18, it's a little bit better. Just BE CAREFUL.

My boyfriend/girlfriend hangs out with people of the opposite sex and sometimes I think he's cheating on me. What should I do?

Communicate with them. If you guys are really close, you should know what's going on and trust each other enough to know their intentions. If you suspect that they are cheating on you, ask him seriously what is going on. You have a right to do that.

Just don't be paranoid to the point that you're restraining him from even associating with people of the opposite sex!

My mom/dad is dating another person and I really don't like them! Should I talk to my mom/dad about it?

No. It's hard for them to know that you're unhappy whenever their girlfriend/boyfriend is over and it makes it difficult for them to have a normal relationship or lifestyle. Talk to your mom/dad's significant other and try to be friends with them, accept them for who they are, and spend more time with them because they might just be your step-parent one day.

I HATE MY <insert relative here>

You're living with them. You can either live in harmony or live in misery. Try to make the best of the time you're living with your relatives. Get to know them better and ACCEPT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE.

Me and my best friend like the same person. What should I do?

Have you ever considered this wonderful person's opinion? Let the crush do what it wants and don't go ruining your friendship over it. If you ask them out (or vice versa) and they agrees to it and your friend can't understand, maybe they're not that good of a friend.

I just broke up with someone and I've been thinking about it for a long time. How do I get over them?

It's normal for you to be thinking about something like this. It's a lot better if you still are friends. Peaceful breakups are the best because you can communicate and you won't feel so distant. Answering your question, you can't get over it right away. Occupy yourself with things you enjoy, so you don't have time to think about him. Don't keep your feelings bottled up inside you. Talk to your friends, parents, or write about it in your journal. The feeling will subside eventually; you just need to GET OVER IT AND THING HE WASN'T WORTH YOUR TIME.

I hate shallow people. Do you?

No. Everyone is shallow to some extent. Get over it. I know most of you here would not date someone absolutely horrendous and there's no denying that someone is absolutely hideous. Actually, if you are hideous, most likely your soulmate is someone who likes you for who you are rather than what you look like, so go you. But back to my rant; you're shallow, I'm shallow. No one ever said life was fair. Get over it.

My girlfriend/boyfriend is ignoring me. Why?

They're not as interested in you as they were before. They are becoming more distant and less dependent on you. Most likely, at this point, you two should remain friends because they no longer view you as someone that is special. They has better things to do. Depends on the situation though. PM me.

There's this kid at my school I hate so much. He/she won't leave me alone. What should I do!?

Remember. Violence is not the answer. They want you to get mad. Ignore them or tell the teacher. Sometimes having the school staff on your side is a big advantage.

Okay, well, I'm running out of time since I'm typing this at the library. PM me if you have any other questions. And sorry if I didn't help at all.

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

Well said for the first one Nice job I would ask some questions so you could add more but I have no idea what to ask

[yummy_delight]

I like very much. Good advice, I think.

Does this deserve pinnage?

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

^ I certainly think so

[technicolour]

Dude this is like awesome. Nicceee.

Wanna add something about communication and save me the trouble or writing a whole thread on communication?

[*mipadi*]

I've been friends with this person for a long time and I've been starting to like them 'more'. Should I tell?

Don't tell them right away. If they don't like you back, you're putting them in an awkward position. And not just at that moment. They're going to be self-conscious around you all the time and you could really ruin your friendship.

Believe me, when I found out one of my good friends had a crush on me, I really didn't feel comfortable around him anymore. If they begin to show signs of liking you back 'in that way', then that's a more appropriate time to tell them or whenever you feel you're close enough friends to tell them without hesitation.

That's the only one I don't completely agree with. If something like this happens, things are generally bound to get awkward no matter what; sometimes, I feel it is the best policy to be open and honest, and let the chips fall as they may.

Of course, if the feeling is not mutual, this is a pretty sucky situation no matter what you do, so I'm not asserting that your advice is flat-out wrong.

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

^ I certainly think so

I agree.
Goob job!

[CrazayChristian]

Eh...I don't know...

I mean, these seem to answer questions that ar commonly asked...that's about it...

It's just not...I can't place the word.

But the things like relatives:

Some people don't like relatives becayse they are abusive or stubborn beyond reason. Such as some people have dads that spy on them with (I belive I heard tape recorders) or other things.
Or abusive.

I can't say I've seen a situation where someone hates a relative because of who they were. (you know what I mean)

[demolished]

I HATE MY <insert relative here>

You're living with them. You can either live in harmony or live in misery. Try to make the best of the time you're living with your relatives. Get to know them better and ACCEPT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE.

i friggen hate "him". he friggen steal my shit and take away my computer's time. he even fricken look through my hard drive to see what shit i have. that sneaky mother fooker. he download shit and cause more problems with ads popout. i have alot more problem with him.

[XtasyHigh]

i friggen hate "him". he friggen steal my shit and take away my computer's time. he even fricken look through my hard drive to see what shit i have. that sneaky mother fooker. he download shit and cause more problems with ads popout. i have alot more problem with him.

... let me guess. yuur bro? it's ok, i saw this survey that says teenage [assuming that yuu are] boys are less likely to develop a good relationship with their sibs than girls. later on i guess, both of yuu will become more mature and forget about these... kinds of things.

[Paradox of Life]

Thanks sprinkle-the-stars

COMMUNICATION

You aren't a real friend to someone if you don't feel comfortable communicating with them. The best way to get to know what's going on with someone else is if you actually talk with them. Then you won't have to wonder about what they're doing, what they've been up to, etc. Don't just sit there and do nothing about it. TALK TO THEM. COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT!!

i friggen hate "him". he friggen steal my shit and take away my computer's time. he even fricken look through my hard drive to see what shit i have. that sneaky mother fooker. he download shit and cause more problems with ads popout. i have alot more problem with him.

Okay. There are a lot of things you can do...

1. Tell your parents to keep a special eye on him. Tell them what he's been doing. The trick is BE SERIOUS AND CALM!! Don't go up to them screaming and yelling and pointing fingers. They're not going to take you seriously.
2. Whenever your brother seems to be entering your room or messing around with your computer, just eye him to see what he's doing, unnoticably. Catch him in the act, and ask him to please stop doing what he's doing.
3. COMMUNICATE. Regardless of the time, you need to talk to your brother, so you can straighten things out. Compromise so both of you are happy.

[ghjgfkgfk]

lol how many of these guides do we need?

[shortiiex]

There's this kid at my school I hate so much. He/she won't leave me alone. What should I do!?

Remember. Violence is not the answer. They want you to get mad. Ignore them or tell the teacher. Sometimes having the school staff on your side is a big advantage.

that makes it worse..they will just kill you after school..and stalk you

[Paradox of Life]

that makes it worse..they will just kill you after school..and stalk you

Stay indoors and don't bother them? While you're on school grounds, there should be staff monitoring. Otherwise, you should be safe with an adult. I doubt bullies would waste their time taking it off campus.

[*mishyerr*]

um. Thanks. ^_^