Neglective, What happened? |
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 Aug 3 2005, 08:49 PM
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#1
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you!  Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674  |
Okay, usually I'm not the kind of person that would care about things like this, but it was last year when I had my first boyfriend. 6th grade. You're probably thinking it was some pathetic little puppy love piece of shit thing, but I really thought I was in love. And you would think I'd gotten over it by now since it's been what.. 4 months since we broke up. Well.. it started with a love letter he sent me. We'd known each other for only about 7 or 8 months. Well, it was the sweetest thing I had ever read in my whole life. 2 pages of how much he adored me and how he felt when he first saw me a such. I suppose I let 'first love' cloud my judgment for the duration of our 'going steady'.
He was in 8th grade and I was in 6th (he's 14 and I'm 12). He was embarrassed to hang out with me in public, so we'd keep it a secret and meet after school. But oftentimes whenever I said hello to him and there were other people around, he'd just ignore me and I wondered if it was because he was ashamed of loving me. We exchanged letters for 2 months or so and I kept them in my closet. I thought about giving them all back, but I decided against it. I don't even remember where they all are to this day. After a while, I got sick and tired of him treating me this way. He wrote me a letter saying that he thought it would be better if he hung out with kids of his own age and me with kids my age. That was a comment hidden between lots of others (let's meet at the library, you're so hot!) and it just totally pissed me off. He even gave me a necklace inside that letter. But I gave it back to him and told him to leave me alone. To hang out with kids his own age. I don't know if I broke up with him or he broke up with me, but I've been dreaming about him as if we were still good friends. Is this normal? Did I do the right thing? Is there something better I could have done? |
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Aug 3 2005, 08:53 PM
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#2
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 whaaaaaaat? Group: Member Posts: 2,293 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,660 |
even tho i don't really know you.
i'm proud of you. it takes guts to say what's on ur mind sometimes. with no trust in a relationship, it's not a relationship anymore. i think he was ashamed of the fact that u were younger than him. i think he thought of you as a 6th grader, not as someone he truly loved. u may have loved him with all ur heart, but i think he didn't return ur feelings the same way. and especially with how he says "hanging out with kids our own age". he doesn't consider u as someone like him. he's an elitist perhaps? not cool. congrats for being strong. yay for single people. |
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| *anubis* |
Aug 3 2005, 08:55 PM
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#3
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Guest |
does it really matter who broke up with who in this situation? i mean--either way, it's over. and i know you'll probably hate me for saying this but, i, too, at your age thought i was "in love."
but then years later, even now, entering 10th grade, i realized that the "love" i thought i had back then... wasn't love. of course, you probably think that you might be an exception for being so young, but i also truly thought i was in love too in 6th grade. but as the years pass by, you will start to realize that, at such a young age, you don't even know what love is. and it's a good thing that you guys are over because he was going to high school. he's two years older than you and knows probably more than you about life--making it easier for him to trick or manipulate you. and if he was so ashamed in the first place, then it's a good thing that it's over. |
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Aug 3 2005, 09:24 PM
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#4
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 *scribble scribble* Group: Member Posts: 1,314 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 119,610 |
Did I do the right thing? yes. he was a jerk.
Is there something better I could have done? no. you did the right thing. i dont see whats wrong with an 8th grader and a 6th grader hanging out. when i was in 6th grade, i hung out with 8th graders.. |
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Aug 3 2005, 10:04 PM
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#5
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 straight as a rainbow and twice as colorful Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 112,415 |
you did the right thing. personally, I would have dumped him sooner because that's not right to just ignore you when he thinks that it won't be considered cool to talk to you. no offense, but he sounds like a bit of an a-hole...
I'm proud of you for breaking up with him. |
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Aug 3 2005, 11:26 PM
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#6
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 one.love Group: Member Posts: 258 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 32,824 |
It seemed that your relationship was faulty to begin with if all you guys ever did was sneak around. If the guy wasn't secure enough to hang out with you in public then he was definately not worth it. You shouldn't worry about whether or not you could have done anything better because all of that has passed now. You did the right thing by dumping the prick and I'm sure that you're better off. Regardless of how many times you think about him you did the right thing. It's normal to dwell on old relationships and I will assure you that you will get over it.
cheer up kid, life is good. |
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Aug 3 2005, 11:31 PM
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#7
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 none of it seems real Group: Member Posts: 2,469 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 73,889 |
QUOTE(dahding @ Aug 3 2005, 9:53 PM) even tho i don't really know you. i'm proud of you. it takes guts to say what's on ur mind sometimes. with no trust in a relationship, it's not a relationship anymore. i think he was ashamed of the fact that u were younger than him. i think he thought of you as a 6th grader, not as someone he truly loved. u may have loved him with all ur heart, but i think he didn't return ur feelings the same way. and especially with how he says "hanging out with kids our own age". he doesn't consider u as someone like him. he's an elitist perhaps? not cool. congrats for being strong. yay for single people.  Well said, Dustin. I totally agree with you. |
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Aug 4 2005, 03:44 AM
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#8
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 Bay Area YadadaDiiiig. Group: Official Member Posts: 4,249 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 103,202 |
itis this normal ? - there actually are a lot of relationships kept secret. dont feel alone, theres always people who share the same problem
did i do the right thing - thats only ever you to decied but i think you, im proud that you decided to end it. [ you ended it not him i think .. by giving him back the necklace ] he shoudlnt be ashamed or try to hide you. if he "loved" you the way he said so in his note he'd want to bring you and showcase you to his friends. you shouldnt overanalyze things like these, it always end bad i speak from exerience. i analyze every little aspect and get so worried and stressed. something better ? - i dont really think so. he should never act like that about your relationship. theres always another choice but you did what you did and i think it was a good decision. |
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Aug 6 2005, 09:56 PM
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#9
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 dizzy me up. Group: Member Posts: 3,191 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 11,139 |
you go girl(:
you definitely did the right thing, he wasnt worth it no matter how beautiful he could've made you felt at times. |
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Aug 6 2005, 10:03 PM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,953 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 52,702 |
of course you did the right thing...if he is ashamed of you he can go screw himself..
but one my friends had a similar problem too...they were on and off again...she got pisssed at him..and cursed him out |
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Aug 8 2005, 11:11 AM
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#11
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 699 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,274 |
The right thing? Yes, morallistically speaking. Yes it's wrong for him to not want to be seen with you and want to do everything in secrecy... but isn't that kinda hot? =P
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Aug 8 2005, 11:15 AM
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#12
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 show me a garden thats bursting to life Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,303 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,987 |
YOU GO GIRL
Seriously you did the right thing. If he was "ashamed" to be caught with you in public, hell, what exactly was the purpose anyways? Seriously. You did the right thing. Don't feel guilty or ashamed. He's the one that should be feeling that. |
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Aug 8 2005, 11:22 AM
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#13
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 what do you think it says....if so obvious. Group: Member Posts: 1,838 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 52,420 |
hmm yea ...you shoudlve broken up with him.....but people are still kids, you clearly dont know whats really on there mind , but heh , im sounding hypocritical myself . thats it .
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Aug 8 2005, 02:33 PM
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#14
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Tiffany <3 Group: Member Posts: 192 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,685 |
Your lover boy's a PUNK
He only loves you when no one's around If he REALLY cared about you, He wouldn't care who's watching And well, i SORTA went through the same thing My boyfriend (ex now) Only talked to me on the phone We never talked in public Strange, i know I asked him what was up He wouldn't tell me figured it out Dumped his ass HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Young love What a beautiful thing 
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