Messing my head, is she playing me or what? Options

[JessBur1981]

I dated this girl then she left me for her old b/f. Then he beat her up a month later and she came back to me. Now only 3 days after she got beat up she leaves me again and goes back to him. I really care fir this girl, but my mind can't handle all the games. Now I sit here worried for her, yet at the same time angry, sad, and a lot of handrolled emotions all balled up together. It's even starting to effect my everyday life. WHAT DO I DO?

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

YAY i beat sprinkle-the stars
COMMUNICATION
talk to her
ask her
find out why
you sound like your going to be obsessive over her i mean honestly girls arent the center of the world and love isnt all that i mean common =)

[JessBur1981]

If was obsessive I would already be after her, but I don't want to make trouble for her with her abusive b/f. All I can do is wait to find out what went wrong...

[x3chrissyx3]

Well, obviously she must care about the other guy a lot, or perhaps she's just afraid. And I hate to say it, but maybe you're just "convienient" at the time, you know? I don't think she's purposely trying to make it that way...so I don't think she's TRYING to mess with your head.

I think you should just talk to her in any case, like, about how she feels about him and things like that

[Chii]

she just wants to be wanted, that's her problem. she's the type who will do anything to feel loved.

i used to be like that, i got into an emotionally abusive relationship just because i wanted to feel like someone loved me...i was going through a lot of crap with my parents and i felt deprived of love.

you should try to help her get out of the relationship with her abusive boyfriend. it doesn't matter if you end up together, you care about this girl. do whatever you can to get her out before it's too late. he's hurting her little by little but it's escalating and someday, it's going to come full circle when he kills her.

tell her to get a restraining order against him (if she's not 18 yet then i think her parents can get one for her). that will give her time to herself to think things through...you can help her realize that this isn't love. love doesn't come with physical bruises or black eyes.

love never strikes a physical blow.

[JessBur1981]

well said, thanks

[technicolour]

YAY i beat sprinkle-the stars
COMMUNICATION
talk to her
ask her
find out why
you sound like your going to be obsessive over her i mean honestly girls arent the center of the world and love isnt all that i mean common =)

MY LINE STOP STEALING IT YOU DAMN PEOPLE!

But actually, I wasn't quite going to say that. I was actually going to say what Chii said pretty much. She just wants someone to 'love' her and she'll do whatever she needs to get that.

It actually sounds like you're in love with her. You're angry at her, and yet you care for her.

Why is there so much violence?

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

^ haha that was my goal =)
anyway eh screw what i said chii's explanation makes more sense =)

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

she just wants to be wanted, that's her problem. she's the type who will do anything to feel loved.

i used to be like that, i got into an emotionally abusive relationship just because i wanted to feel like someone loved me...i was going through a lot of crap with my parents and i felt deprived of love.

you should try to help her get out of the relationship with her abusive boyfriend. it doesn't matter if you end up together, you care about this girl. do whatever you can to get her out before it's too late. he's hurting her little by little but it's escalating and someday, it's going to come full circle when he kills her.

tell her to get a restraining order against him (if she's not 18 yet then i think her parents can get one for her). that will give her time to herself to think things through...you can help her realize that this isn't love. love doesn't come with physical bruises or black eyes.

love never strikes a physical blow.

^ she probably knows from experience listen to her advice, me? I couldn't have said it any better

[pinayprincess]

leave her alone man... shes not worth it if she's coming back to you just to cry and shit... what a bitch to come back to you like that; you deserve better

[JessBur1981]

About the violence-I don't know. The guys a jerk, and she's a fool. She told me she was in love with us both. I told her she needs to stay away from the beating and stay with someone that won't hit or curse her. She told a friend that I was her "knight". Don't know what that means. I just wish she would make up her mind so i can get on with my life.

And yes, there was a time when I was madly in love with her, buts its wearing thin. I even still have some of her stuff at my house but she hasn't come and get it after 3 days. I'm scared to death that he's done something to her. I can't check up on her because im afraid of the repricussions of him finding out that I am even near her. I just don't know what to do. I figured if she wanted out she would be. She told him and I heard with my own ears that she wanted no more to do with him that she was with me now and that I would treat her right yet the very next day I hear she's back with him.

My heart is broken yet beating, so hopefully it will work out somehow, even if she is not with me, i want her away from him. She deserves better.

[JessBur1981]

One more thing i must add. We haven't even had sex yet, I told her I wanted to wait until the right moment, so it would mean something for both us, just not a one night affair. Could that have made her mad and run to the women beater?

[JessBur1981]

And to pinay, something tells me thats the best advice posted here.

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

^ Please don't triple post. Use the edit button. Why would you want to have sex with her when you know she's going to go back and get beat up?

[JessBur1981]

I never said I did, only that i haven't. Something tells me I won't now.

Sorry for triple posting.


I did have a good two hour cry last night. That helped a little bit.

[dahding]

she's confused b/w love and lust. i think she's just trying to find someone who will care about her and take care of her. but i think she needs to get her priorities straightened out. a violent bf is bad. way bad.

[Chii]

And to pinay, something tells me thats the best advice posted here.

i hope that "something" is wrong...

my god, do people think that someone would like to be beaten and cursed at?

[JessBur1981]

I don't understand the first sentence. WHy would you hope that something is wrong?

[demolished]

huh? i wonder what's up with her?
Can you really trust her that much?
She likes 2 guys (including you).
Well, i think the best thing is to talk to her.
Ask her who does she really like ..

because .. she's going back and forth over a guy.

[aera]

I don't understand the first sentence. WHy would you hope that something is wrong?

i think she means that she hopes you'll help her instead of just leaving her there with her ex. at least i hope so...

err... pretty much what chii said the first time. show her that you can be the one that loves her and takes care ofher.

[JessBur1981]

I have shown her that. The main problem is that I want her away from her abusive b/f period. If she decided to come back to me again, I'm not so sure that I wouldn't tell her to piss off and find some other monkey wrench.

[jue]

move on.
i think she jsu cant see that you really care for her and shes just using you to hide the fact that she just got beaten up& for you to give all your attention on her.

[shortiiex]

make her tell you why she likes her boyfriend beater...and say you would care for her no matter what

[yukichan]

be there for her as a FRIEND..
she obviously needs someone to support her..
but u cant control her and tell her not to go back to the abusive boyfriend..Even if you like her, only be her friend until she sorts things out..Give advice..Tell her you care about her and don't want to see her hurt..If she doesn't take your advice, there isn't much you can do until she realizes that the abusive boyfriend isn't good for her..

[Daniel Rodriguez]

I'd beat that guy that abuses girls cause I hate guys who abuse girls it shows that there wimps.