Actual Airline Announcements, lmao |
Humor Forum Rules
Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.
The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:
NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.
NO DUPLICATE TOPICS
If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.
Please do not violate the guidelines. It is here for a reason and is not to be ignored.
Thank you.
  |
 Jul 17 2005, 07:33 PM
Post
#1
|
|
 I like it when it rains.  Group: Member Posts: 836 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,294  |
These are actual announcements made by in-flight attendants:
Before takeoff: "To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. Actually, it works just like every other seat belt on the planet. If you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised." and: "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, or someone who is acting like a small child, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two such persons, decide now which one you love more." Shortly before arrival: "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees, with some broken clouds; but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your travel money, more than this airline." On the ground, after an exceedingly bumpy landing: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash' and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." On arrival: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at this airline." 
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 17 2005, 07:40 PM
Post
#2
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 427 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 127,797 |
Haha, those were funny
QUOTE(taggy505 @ Jul 17 2005, 7:33 PM) These are actual announcements made by in-flight attendants: On the ground, after an exceedingly bumpy landing: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash' and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."  ^That one was my favorite lol. |
|
|
|
|
Jul 17 2005, 09:27 PM
Post
#3
|
|
 GREEENROCKS Group: Member Posts: 1,393 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,624 |
Haha. Those are funny. Strange airlines these days..
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 19 2005, 08:32 PM
Post
#4
|
|
 Residential Crazy Child Group: Member Posts: 934 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 116,897 |
I couldn't decide between the last three. =D
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 20 2005, 02:29 AM
Post
#5
|
|
 (′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
QUOTE(taggy505 @ Jul 18 2005, 8:33 AM) On arrival: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at this airline." that really made my day. hahahah |
|
|
|
| *anubis* |
Jul 20 2005, 02:30 AM
Post
#6
|
|
Guest |
QUOTE Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, or someone who is acting like a small child, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two such persons, decide now which one you love more. ahahaha that made me laugh so hard.  props 
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 20 2005, 02:34 AM
Post
#7
|
|
 show me a garden thats bursting to life Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,303 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,987 |
QUOTE "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, or someone who is acting like a small child, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two such persons, decide now which one you love more." Ok. This is just HILARIOUS. OMFG. |
|
|
|
|
Jul 20 2005, 06:54 AM
Post
#8
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 893 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,217 |
That made me think of a SNL episode with Will Ferrell...the one with the guy from Spiderman hosting...and they were in the airplane cockpit with Will Ferrell shouting insults into the intercom...and in the end he went into the back with a baseball bat XD Um... back on topic... That was funny. :D I wish all airplanes were like that. :( It would make my annual two airplane trips more enjoyable and fun. And more entertaining for the rest of the passengers, too. |
|
|
|
|
Jul 20 2005, 12:21 PM
Post
#9
|
|
|
Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 101 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,352 |
LOL funny funny
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 20 2005, 01:12 PM
Post
#10
|
|
 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
QUOTE(taggy505 @ Jul 17 2005, 6:33 PM) "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, or someone who is acting like a small child, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two such persons, decide now which one you love more." I love that one.  These were quite humorous.
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 20 2005, 11:11 PM
Post
#11
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 94 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 143,991 |
lol thats funny
|
|
|
|
|
Jul 31 2005, 02:47 PM
Post
#12
|
|
|
to hell with you Group: Member Posts: 2,547 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,506 |
wow..i was jsut ona plane were theflight attendant said something like that.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 1 2005, 01:33 AM
Post
#13
|
|
 Opus Dei Group: Member Posts: 132 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 186,441 |
lol i like those
|
|
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: