"Opening the Door" Options

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

Yeah well I've been trying to come out recently and I told a few people, but they just started acting like omfg forreal? and they were just such assholes about it. They were making such a big deal and it really hurt so I just told them that I was just joking. I thought that they would accept me of all people, but they don't and it really hurts. I know I shouldn't have lied and said I was kidding and all, but you know sometimes people you've known for awhile you really don't want to have leave you no matter what. I've known them for about 4 to 5 years ish and they are really good friends of mine but obviously not good enough. I know your all going to say "Oh they aren't good friends so don't talk to them", but they have been there for me when even my family wasn't. I know that they wont appreciate me or whatever and it's just so annoying and I really wanna get it off but everytime I try I always take it back and turn it into a joke. I really don't know what to do at this point...

[Saeglopur]

*sigh, the friends you thought you trusted won't believe you. It's alright... I suggest you take it nice and slow. It would be easier than way.

[*stephinika*]

^^
i agree with kim. i'm sorry to hear that though, but just take things easy for now.

[sweet x sorrow]

Errr...
I know how you feel.
It's hard opening up yourself to
friends who have supposedly
known you.
It just takes some time.
You should be serious about it
and not joke about it afterwards
because then that would let them
know that you're not serious.
Thus they won't believe it when you say
you wanna "come out".
They'll just brush it off like dust on a bench.

[MeanBastard]

Wait, I'm confused. What did you tell them?

[sweetabandon]

I honestly think that they were just goin through an initial shock. If what you said about their loyalty is true then should be able to accept you no matter what. Try brining it up again as a hypothetical question to the person you trust the MOST. Like, "Do you think it'd be weird if I/someone we know turns gay?" Then see how they react. If they ask you if you serious before... (and you're still scared) just tell them that you just wonder about it sometimes.

I know you're trying to hold on to your friends, but this is love we're talking about. If they don't like your taste in loves and change the way they treat you because of it, then I don't think you'll be able to keep your friends in the long run anyway.

I hope your friends really do accept you though. Try again. Maybe it'll just take them a while to get used to it.

[lilJdawg]

Chill & think. I know that feeling & yeah. I think you juhs gotta' give them time & take it easy on the mean time. But really, they should think what you're saying is stupid. Next time when their talking, do the same way back to them & see how their feeling.

[enyceXaddiction]

its okay. to tell you the truth if i had a friend that told me i wouldve bene in shock to and did what they did. but you have to give it time. you cant just tell someone big news like that and suspect them to be okay with it. they'll accpect you sooner or later.

[xldubaliciousx]

I guess don't mention it anymore till you're positive you can say it without joking about it. That way they'll KNOW you're serious.

[mai_z]

Go slow...and be sure of yourself. No matter what other people say, you are who you are. Be confident when you tell people, and if they make fun of you or whatever, understand that especially if they've known you for a long time, they're gonna be pretty shocked, give them time to let it soak in and stuff....

[Mr. Slowjamz]

hmmm dont knoww mann........hopefully the above statements can help you

[HoodieObsessed]

Wait, I'm confused. What did you tell them?

that's what I'm wondering. Am I missing something here?

Anyway, try not to turn it into a joke, it'll just confuse them. You have got to tell the truth, and I'm glad you've made an effort to.

I wish you all the luck

[yukichan]

just be your self..just tell certain ppl hu wont criticize u..if they dont understand then i guess dont tell them?maybe telling each of them seperately will help..good luck to you!

[ikayto]

At your age, people won't understand or be willing to accept. I would recommend waiting till you're a little older-in college :P.

For your happiness, people will get all weirded out and what not....

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

they probably really are good friends but just became uncomfortable with the fact you are gay, so to ease up the awkwardness they made jokes. tell them straight , " im gay " or however way you prefer. then just take it slow and easy and whatnot until they understand it hurts your feelings for them to make fun of you.

[HoodieObsessed]

they probably really are good friends but just became uncomfortable with the fact you are gay, so to ease up the awkwardness they made jokes. tell them straight , " im gay " or however way you prefer. then just take it slow and easy and whatnot until they understand it hurts your feelings for them to make fun of you.

ohhh, so he's gay! okay, I get it.

Yes, tell them and don't turn it into a joke, that'll jsut get it messed up. Let them adjust to the knowledge you're gay, they might take it hard at first, but I'm sure if your friends are true they will adjust to you in the end.

[xtreme_<3]

uh, people? i think he's handled the whole "opening the door" or coming out of the closet thing already ..yes, i'm a stalker. be afraid =P nah, i was being nosy and looked at his myspace thing.

[HongKongDong]

They're your friends man. Let them get used to it, knowing you for so long and not knowing. Of course its gonna be a shock to them. They've been there for you even when your family hasn't, those are some friends. Keep it close, tell them the truth, let them get used to it. If they don't.... then I don't know. That's all up to you.

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

Thanks for all the advice everybody =)
I've been slowly coming out and people are still going to act like that so I should just put on a smile and ignore them :-)

[HongKongDong]

You don't have to put a smile on for anybody man. Just ignore it and let them be, they will get used to it eventually. If they're gonna leave you just because of that. Then man, I don't know what to say. Good while it lasted right?

[xbloostarx]

....Wait....what did you tell them? X.x I'm slow.

[Xprezsion]

Hmm wow I can't really find a way to help you, tough situation. I guess like everyone said coming out slowly is good so you don't shock people or scare them away (I don't know why that would happen but some people are against gays and stuff). But yea, goodluck =]

[lllUrban_PrePlll]

after more than a year and a half i finaly decided to tell someone i reali trust that im bi. and she`s been cool about it. but still im too scared to open up to any more of mai friends because idono if this is foreal or a phase and the fact that i don`t want to lose any of mai friends. then again it can also let me see hu are mai reali friends that would stand by mai side no matter what. so this is pretty much y i started using cb. so i can talk about it with out ppl knowing hu i am. iono. do you think i should keep it in and try reali hard to become straight again or let it out??

[illriginal]

The way I see it is... I've had alot of my friends sleep over and hang out, play sports together, hell even piss next to each other (no we don't look at each other's sexual parts) but when you have friends for a very long time and you think you know almost everything about them.. and they bust out tellin you bout their sexuality that you weren't expecting... it's basically mind blowing. You start to think to yourself... oh shit does he look at me in a certain way or think of me in a certain way?!?!

I'm not gay, nor do I know anyone that went from straight to gay or someone that came outta the closet so I don't know how to give an appropiate opinion.

But understand this, if you have friends of the same gender... and you tell them you're gay, they're gonna feel uncomfortable until you assure them that you're not interested in them. That's the main thing that people wonder about when they find out their friend likes the same gender.