the asian approach Options

[yukichan]

[font=arial][size=2]please do not bash me for being stereotypical; i'm only basing this description on the heavy impression that i have received.

the first-generation of asian kids has it tough. their parents (although very dedicated toward their children's futures) have taken an "asian approach" to education includes rote memorization, pure academic drive, and comparing one's child to other asian children. asian parents have taught their children that competition is everything, which leads these young students to push and stress about academics. they have been taught to be the best of the best: grades, tests, competitions. they are the proud receivers of valedictorian titles, national mathematics awards, piano trophies, and 1600's. they are driven toward success at the world's top universities, aspiring to pursue a profitable, respectable, and educated careers in law, medicine, business, and engineering.

i agree..its hard for the first generation..like im a first generation and my parents dont really understand the kind of stuff we do at school..but about the competition part to other asian child it doesnt really happen..and for me my parents arent forcing me to become something thats a respectful career..well maybe b/c i want to be something respectful..lol..well i think this kinda applies to almost any family that came from another country to america...

[smilz2dasun]

i definitely agree. that's exactly how it is for me. i wasn't really aware before that it was more of an asian parents thing because i dont really live in a place with a lot of asians (arizona).

anyways, my parents always make me feel like i don't do good enough. like for example, right i'm ranked 5th in my class... out of 650 something.. and they're like "oh. great. but why arent you first." it feels like my best isn't good enough for them and it's a little depressing.

when i go to college and start my career, i won't even be doing something i enjoy; i'll be doing something where i'll be making good money. i understand where my parents come from when they say i need make a lot of money to support myself and my future family but they're definition of success is based on money, not on reaching goals and dreams. i would like to be a magazine editor when i'm older but i'm going to be pursuing a career in phramacy instead. won't that be fun?

[Spirited Away]

i was way too lazy to read that. but im shure itz good. 

What's good exactly?

[Just_Dream]

Am I wrong to partially agree with all that you've said? I do agree that parents tend to compare their children with other asian children as well as pure academic drive, but at the same time, I guess because my family environment is different, I'm not pushed to excel too much. My parents know that I cannot be perfect, so they won't beat me or ground me or anything if I got a B in a class. Although, a B+ is the lowest I could ever have I do admit that I want to make my parents (well actually, just my mother) happy, knowing that she raised a good daughter. But at the same time, I push myself to work hard because I know that in the future I will lead my own life and I personally I guess I want to be financially stable and I truly CAN see myself working happily in in my goal career.

It's tough enough that my half-sister was salutorian back when she was in high school... I compare myself to her.. sometimes my mother does, but not so much about grades as my work ethic.

The "asian approach" can affect their social, academic, mental, and happiness in the future in many ways. History tends to repeat itself, thus the future generations will probably experience the asian approach, despite their parents' childhood. Not to mention that happiness might not be acheived. MIGHT. But sometimes, the parent(s) is just trying to help the child have a better future. I know that my mother wants the best for me.. Although I do believe that every parent is in one way or another at one point selfish, a great many parents have good intentions. I guess that's what makes me think that the asian approach isn't all that bad.

My boyfriend's brother was also salutorian at his high school, but his parents are more strict on him about grades. I guess it really depends on the parents themselves, and whether or not they're willing to reform and not have so many high expectations.

I hope what I said made some sense...

[WhiteLotus*]

It depends on the child on their approah to certain things. Many of my Asian friends are EXACTLY like that, yet they still have fun with themselves.

I personally like the Asian approach. I, myself, being Caucasian, wish that I was brought up like that. I'd have a better appreciation for knowledge and the world around me.
But I try to follow the approach.

[demolished]

please do not bash me for being stereotypical; i'm only basing this description on the heavy impression that i have received.

the first-generation of asian kids has it tough. their parents (although very dedicated toward their children's futures) have taken an "asian approach" to education includes rote memorization, pure academic drive, and comparing one's child to other asian children. asian parents have taught their children that competition is everything, which leads these young students to push and stress about academics. they have been taught to be the best of the best: grades, tests, competitions. they are the proud receivers of valedictorian titles, national mathematics awards, piano trophies, and 1600's. they are driven toward success at the world's top universities, aspiring to pursue a profitable, respectable, and educated careers in law, medicine, business, and engineering.

but is this approach to academics truly beneficial?

is this generation of asians so driven toward winning and fulfilling their parents expectations that they are blinded of their own passions and interests? does this blind competition prevent them from becoming creative thinkers in the future? will they ever get a chance to develop their own unique personalities and learn for themselves? sure, the method might result in financial success, but will it really lead their children to happiness? or will their children regret not being able to explore intellectually on their own? in ten years, we'll have so many doctors, lawyers, businesspeople, and engineers, but how many will actually be passionate and satisfied with their careers? will they ever feel true accomplishment, not for their parents, reputation, or society's expectations but for themselves?

what do you think about this general "asian approach" and its effect on students' mental, psychological, social, emotional, and intellectual development, as well as their happiness in the future?

that's is so true, my parents are almost like that but it's alrite. i'm trying my best at school. If i do something bad, my whole family would talk crap behind my back that i dont study and learn anything. Actually, i do study and i always try my best. They always think they are so " right " but they arent. They act like they knoe " everything " about me but they dont even know much about me. They dont notice what i'm going through at school becuase my family does not solve problems or help each out. You can said my family is kind of " mess up " . The point is that " the whole family " judges me and my knowledge.

Yes, " asian approach " does effect on student's mental, psychological, social, emotion, and intellectual development.

[gelionie]

I have to agree.

Well fortunately my parents aren't like that.

It sucks if everyone ends up crowding in certain careers.

[mzawesome]

thats my life... hard but i can see why they do it because they want the best for you and dont want you to end up like them working hours hours for average pay, when you could get an education, and do something worth something. BUt its also like living the life they never got too. yeah it is stressfull, but even with that hanging over my head i dont do so good in schoo....

[f4113n]

yeah it isnt fair, azn parents push their kids so hard just so that their kids can acheive their (the parents) dreams. it SUX being a 1st generation azn kid....

then again i guess u cant blame them. my parents r from china, and in china cuz theres waaay 2 many ppl, and very few colleges (for the number of ppl that apply) ya hafta b reele good in academics 2 get in. so i guess it all stems from the evil of overpopulation. does this remind ne1 else of brave new world revisited?

[picaso_smile]

A parent's job is to teach and guide their child, not decide their life. I think that kind ofparenting can be harmful to children. Think of how terrible they feel when they don't succeed. Nobody can be perfect all the time.

[snak3y3z1001]

Heh. My parents are like that. When i was younger they said being a doctor is a great job. So I decided to pursue that career. Always competed against friends to see who got the highest grades. Gave up all that back in sophmore year in HS. Rite now im a senior. Decided to join the US Navy. I want to see what the world has to offer. Dont want to work until im 65 to retire or whatever the age is.

[sheepy]

actually yeah that does fit people's description. but my parents are totally into it. i mean they make me go for the competition but like..they let me chose what i want out of my life.

[dani41790]

i dont really like the asian approach. it just stresses so many kids out and gives them barely enough time to have fun. but most that i know who are affected by the asian approach have very creative minds so it doesnt really affect their creativeness. i do think that some whose parents take the asian approach sometimes have psychological problems because of stress and working so much

[dani41790]

sorry for the double post. got a computer glitch

[*salcha*]

i agree, when i was smaller..my mom tried using the asian reproach on me, thinking that everything i do is suppose to be above average.
but i guess when i told her that choosing my own opinions and the way i study would probably result in a better result. i can balance my own studying and socializing time.

[visualfusion]

I've fallen to the asian approach, and because of how materialistic I am, I like it and I'm going to stick to it.

[jjc66]

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[xMiZziexKiMx]

my parents make me do everything they want and i cant really do anything that i want like going out and having bfs but well i do it anywways...... they jsut never found out about it.... but anyways they want me to grow up and be a pharmacist or w/e b/c i hav a bright future and blah unlike them..... and yah dee yah dee yah.... whenever i get a B they like yell at me like everyday til i brings it up to an A..... i mean they dont rly know what classes i'm taking..... i hav gfted and s' other kids that they know hav cp but they think its the same.... they expect me to hav straight Az all the time..... blah..... and my mom always yells at me and stuff.... she used to hit me a lot when i was small too...

[cazilika]

oh yeah, i'm in that exact predicament. though i'm not as driven to get good grades. just good enough or else my parents will start yelling the sh*t outta me and my mom'll start slapping me. i hate it d*mnitt. i've almost gone totally suicidal once, and all of you out there who haven't experienced this since when you were 3 have no idea what it's like. I will never treat my own children the way my parents treat me.

about my future, money, life?? I wouldn't give a d*mn if i was dirt poor. as long as i'm happy, and enjoy my life, which right now I don't. Sometimes I just think that they're doing this because when I get a job and make a lot of money, I'll buy a ton of stuff to them and be tahnkful and everything, which I will sya right now I won't. If they think that verbally and physically abusing me is gonna make me appreciate them, they're f*ckin outta their minds. And guess what?? I'm 12 and I'm thinking of killing myself already. That's how much pressure and everything we are forced through.

[innovation]

wow, this topic is back.
that was back when i typed in arial.

[The-Mach-Hare]

i guess if driving them to do good works, then so be it.

theres nothing we can do about it and we needed smarter people (especially for presidents)

[enyceXaddiction]

asian parents suck. my parents are like bugging me about which college im wanting to go when i didnt even chose my highschool yet!!!

[clarissa]

My parents are like that and I hate it. To encourage me, they bring me down and somehow it works -- it makes me want to try harder just to prove them wrong. So, yes, it has had an effect on my emotional and psychological development and I've just recently learned this. They've had failures with my elder sisters, yet they still haven't learned from their mistakes. One of my sisters ended up being a high school drop out yet now, she makes more money than my parents. She realized this "asian approach" right before she dropped out and I learned from that.

I've learned to become more independent.

[littleswallow]

hmm... I can actually relate to this... not much but I can relate. I'm Asian, born and raised in the Philippines... and yeah, most of us are quite pressured. I'm 16, high school senior and going to take up engineering in college. Engineering runs in the family (I do have a cousin who's taking up medicine, though)... so I'm really scared if I don't pass the entrance exams... please pray for me!

but the good thing about this approach is that you strive for the best... one of the bad things? You're almost, always compared... which really gets very annoying. I also have this experience wherein I finished my grade early (we're self-paced, non-graded), and mama told me "why only now? you could've finished it earlier!"... and yeah... of course, I didn't talk back, that's like a sin to us....