beating around the bush, its what it always is Options

[expoised]

i have to take my frustration out somewhere. might as well be here.

basically i like this guy, and he keeps hinting that he likes me. and then he goes on to tell me about this incredible date he had the other day, and just to get back i tell him about the incredible guy that i have a humongous crush on (which i don't... i basically drag back old crushes and rub it in his face). and so it goes back and forth and back and forth.

and then... we were joking around and so i asked him out (b/c it was a joke... inside joke with someone else. really weird, but yeah). and he's like "OF COURSE I WANNA GO OUT WITH YOU" (but it was a joke... see?) and then we're like laughing about it and inside i'm thinking "but... i'm serious". and i have no clue what he's thinking.

and i really wanna say something, but i dont wanna ruin this incredible friendship that we have. and so its all frustrating.

idk if that made sense... hey, it's 1am give me a break.

[teeners4]

yea im going in a VERY similar situation as you....

i like this guy and i told him i like him and when he was guessing who it was we kept like teasing each other. and we always say how hot each other is, and how we'd like to go on a date. and he even asked me out, but then i was naturally just joking back cause that was what we were doing. so i DONT KNOW EITHER!

best way to do... (well i cant do it ><) but like just ask him straight out

[*anubis*]

...basically i like this guy, and he keeps hinting that he likes me.

HOW do you know that he actually likes you? was it an assumption?

i've had a lot of experience with this kinda drama over the years because, frankly, girls and guys just don't think exactly the same.

like, for example, one of my guy friends--who shall remain nameless was SO dense that he made a girl think that he liked her without even knowing when he didn't. he was like "why would she think i liked her? all i did was wait for her in front of her classes every day, walk her to her locker and classes, and hug her any time i can. why would she think i was leading her on?"

and i was like.. "dude. you're an effing dumbass. that shows a girl that you want her."

and then i asked him if he liked her and he was like "no. i only tihnk of her as friends."

and that's the problem with it. like guys may do stuff that, to girls, means "oh i like you. i want you" kinda things but to guys don't mean anything at all.

so maybe he only thinks of you as a friend but you're taking it more seriosuly than it really is.

and as for trying to make him jealous. definitely not a very good idea. i admit it, most guys are dumbasses, shitheads, w/e. we just DONT get the message.

if you tell him about how much you like this other guy, guys dont see through the message. they actually see it as you REALLY liking the guy--making him BACK OFF OF you if he wanted you in the first place. and if he didn't, it wouldn't make a difference. that's a lose/lose situation.

and asking him out? i think he was kidding about the answer. guys are like that. if he's the nice-guy type, he wont tell you he doesn't like you. if he sees your advances, he may return them just to be polite--but he might not mean them.

he goes on to tell me about this incredible date he had the other day

and as for that. he probably means that as reality. i don't think he's trying to tease you or anything. guys don't usually play mind games like that. we're usually more straightforward.

just..the fact that he would tell you something like that probably means he only sees you as a friend. guys wouldn't usually tell girls they like about other girls.

what i find funny is that guys don't pay attention enough to girls' actions--as obvious as they may be, whereas, girls overanalyze guys. really--to understand a guy isn't that hard. guys aren't usually too deceiving and what you see, in most cases, is usually what you get. nothing hidden under the table. but girls think of guys' actions as more than what they are. just don't think too much about it. if he calls you a lot or gets all touchy-feely with you, it doesn't mean he wants to marry you. you know what i mean?

i don't know... just hope this helps somewhat.

[topsyturvy]

Listen to anubis. He's an expert.

[FailedSense]

I'm in a very similar situation, actually. I tend to whine about it in my Xanga. >.>

Anyway, as for what to do......I honestly don't know. I'm trying to find a way to tell her how I feel, but I suck at that kind of thing.

That, and I barely understand how I feel.

At anyrate, I'm a big fan of being open about such things. *shrug*

Communication is a good thing most of the time. As a friend of mine told me, sometime silence is the greater evil.

[expoised]

  HOW do you know that he actually likes you? was it an assumption?

i've had a lot of experience with this kinda drama over the years because, frankly, girls and guys just don't think exactly the same.

like, for example, one of my guy friends--who shall remain nameless was SO dense that he made a girl think that he liked her without even knowing when he didn't. he was like "why would she think i liked her? all i did was wait for her in front of her classes every day, walk her to her locker and classes, and hug her any time i can. why would she think i was leading her on?"

and i was like.. "dude. you're an effing dumbass. that shows a girl that you want her."

and then i asked him if he liked her and he was like "no. i only tihnk of her as friends."

and that's the problem with it. like guys may do stuff that, to girls, means "oh i like you. i want you" kinda things but to guys don't mean anything at all.

so maybe he only thinks of you as a friend but you're taking it more seriosuly than it really is.

and as for trying to make him jealous. definitely not a very good idea. i admit it, most guys are dumbasses, shitheads, w/e. we just DONT get the message.

if you tell him about how much you like this other guy, guys dont see through the message. they actually see it as you REALLY liking the guy--making him BACK OFF OF you if he wanted you in the first place. and if he didn't, it wouldn't make a difference. that's a lose/lose situation.

and asking him out? i think he was kidding about the answer. guys are like that. if he's the nice-guy type, he wont tell you he doesn't like you. if he sees your advances, he may return them just to be polite--but he might not mean them.
and as for that. he probably means that as reality. i don't think he's trying to tease you or anything. guys don't usually play mind games like that. we're usually more straightforward.

just..the fact that he would tell you something like that probably means he only sees you as a friend. guys wouldn't usually tell girls they like about other girls.

what i find funny is that guys don't pay attention enough to girls' actions--as obvious as they may be, whereas, girls  overanalyze guys. really--to understand a guy isn't that hard. guys aren't usually too deceiving and what you see, in most cases, is usually what you get. nothing hidden under the table. but girls think of guys' actions as more than what they are. just don't think too much about it. if he calls you a lot or gets all touchy-feely with you, it doesn't mean he wants to marry you. you know what i mean?

i don't know... just hope this helps somewhat.

ughh. you're right. as much as i hate to admit it.

[SimplicityGirl]

As anubis said it, girls tend to overanalyze guys. And this is coming straight from the mouth of a girl.

How do I know that? Because I've been in the same situation. I liked this guy more than just friends, but he didn't. And we always joked around and complemented each other. I waited for him outside his classes, he walked me to my locker and home countless times. And I really thought that liked me in that way. But when I told him about it, he said that he only saw me as a really good friend that he can have fun with. And naturally, I asked him then if he didn't like me, why did he walk me home and to my locker? And he said that he was doing that because he was being nice to me. Ah well. We remained good friends up to this day; he has a girl that he's chasing after. And he's helped me through the breakup with my ex. We're on very good levels...on some level, I think he's a better friends than my other friends.

What I'm trying to say is, you're probably overanalysing the whole thing. He likes you, yes, but not in the same way that you like him. He sees you as a cool girl that he can have lots of fun with without worrying too much about what he does or says. You're his good friend. But that's all that he sees you as. I'd talk to him about it, but don't be too heartbroken if he really doen't like you in the same way that you liked him.

But you know, sometimes, the best relationship between a guy and a girl is to just remain good friends. ^^

[pinayprincess]

i dont blame you for "beating around the bush"... all your doing is trying NOT to hurt yourself by something you dont wanna hear

[Mizz Rizza]

this is tricky
cuz you like him but dont wana ruin the friendship
i go through this a lot
i think the best thing i can say
is to
figure out if it's worth it to risk the friendship
but then again if you think he likes you
he may be thinking himself the same thing
which is prolly why none of you guys hav said you liked each other, asked each other out, etc. etc.
i think that you should stop saying ur liking or crushing on another guy
because if u keep saying that he'll get the wrong impression and just start thinking that you dont feel the same way as him (if he likes you..etc.)

and who knows maybe he's saying he went on dates to make you jealous cuz then again ur going back and forth

all i can say
be a friend for now and see wat goes on further


ehh sorry if you got kinda confused on the advice : /

[parallel]

Oh darling.
I get what your saying.
Hard situation. I know.
Just wait it out. See if he acts any different from that.
And maybe bring it up again.

[enyceXaddiction]

i know what you mean. i dont liek going out with guys cause i wouldnt want to ruin our friendship. and usually the guys i like are really close to me. bummer. well. if you really like him talk to him about it. maybe he was thinking the same thing as you were "but...im serious" you never know you might have a chanse. if you dont want to ruin the friendship then stay as friends. it your choice. we cant decide for yyou.

[heyitzmy]

maybe he tells you about the "incredible dates" to test you. maybe he's a little to shy to tell you that he likes you to. girl take a stand!! tell him...hey im serious about the date..see where it goes from there...im sure your heart starts to beat really fast when you mentioned about a date..you can do it!! good luck!!

[angelrevelation]

like, for example, one of my guy friends--who shall remain nameless was SO dense that he made a girl think that he liked her without even knowing when he didn't. he was like "why would she think i liked her? all i did was wait for her in front of her classes every day, walk her to her locker and classes, and hug her any time i can. why would she think i was leading her on?"

wow... that is just... wow

try to think of him as just being friendly, and see if he still seems like he likes you. as anubis/dustin said, i guess he might just feel comfortable with talking about that stuff with you (so... basically only as a friend). was that confusing?

[3ssx]

just ask him straight out...

[xldubaliciousx]

Well in the middle of joking about that.. Like when you say "Ahaha we should go out.." And he's like "Yeah.. Totally" You should say something like "But seriously.. What if we did..?" And don't laugh. So he knows you're serious.

[kayiiem]

when you're laughing about it i don't think he knows that you're serious cause you're laughing. maybe you should either talk to him like good friends do and be like "remember when .. " and then ask if he was serious. or you can play that same joke again and at the end be like "are you serious?"