seriously about to cry, about to loose someone i luv |
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 Jun 30 2005, 11:06 PM
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#1
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 Tasty.  Group: Member Posts: 471 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,784  |
so here's my story, i'll try to sum it up for you, it will get confusing so here goes:
my "boyfriend" and i were going out for a month. the first weeks were AMAZING. i've never felt so loved and wnated by anyone else in my life, and i actually was happy for once. i got those butterflies in my stomach and we would talk on the phone for 3 hours at a time. then came the zoo... i was goin to the zoo with my best friend and her bf, who was my bf's best friend, but my boyfriend backed out cuz he "didn't want to deal with them", it hurt, and i felt left hanging. i told him and he just shurgged it off. it was wierd after that, we didn't seem to have the kind of hottness we had b4. he barely touched me or embraced me like he did before. even less then before we were going out! so i confronted him and here's the excuse he gave me... he said that he wasn't all comfortable with the title of "boyfriend".  yea i'm confused too. he said that he's wanted a serious relationship with someone for so long, that when it was finally in front of him, he jumped the gun without really thinking things through. he's told me he likes me soo much (yea borderline love), and that he still cares. it hurt me soo much, cuz now i'm thinking back to all of those times he's said that i'm beuatiful, he'll never let me go, i'm amazing, u kno all the stuff that really made me feel special. now, i think those were for nothing. he was so amazed that so many guys i've liked have only liked me back as a friend, and he said that he could never be that ass. well....he's starting to become one.now its so weird around him. he said that he was afriad to loose me completely and that he never wants to see us sperated, i guess friendship-wise. it just SUX so much that i still love him, and that now i'm waiting for him to make up his damn mind.  any thoughs on what's goin on????  
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Jul 1 2005, 12:34 AM
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#2
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 naïvety Group: Human Posts: 1,303 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 488 |
I think your "boyfriend" has a few commitment issues. He probably said all those sweet things at the split second that his infatuation for you was at its highest point. I don't mean he doesn't love you, although if he doesn't want to the title of "boyfriend", then he probably didn't love you in the first place. Because remember, true love lasts forever & never dies out no matter how long you've been with that person.
You should have a serious talk with him. Ask him if he still wants to be 100% committed to you. Right now, it sounds like he's only reserving you, if you know what i mean. Whatever you do, don't wait for him to make up his mind. You should be going up to him and demanding an answer. If he doesn't have one, then perhaps he's not ready for the relationship either.. Sorry if that was crappy advice Wish you the best of luck! 
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Jul 1 2005, 02:39 AM
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#3
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 Oh babyy. :d Group: Member Posts: 616 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,708 |
Yeahh.. most of that happend with my second boyfriend... but we were together for 2 months.. Just get over him, this might be hard, but try to. Well.. I really don't know what to do... Sorry...
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Jul 1 2005, 09:52 AM
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#4
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 Sugar, We're Goin' Down. Group: Member Posts: 53 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 160,644 |
agree with K!$$. Commitment issues.
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Jul 1 2005, 12:45 PM
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#5
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 The Texan Group: Member Posts: 430 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 136,431 |
Yes, well, he sounds like he really does care. But, he sounds like he's scared.
Has he had a bad past? You know, loved and lost? That is a big issue I've seen with guys that just love so deeply but are scared to get that far. It sounds to me that he's just not confortable with himself, I mean, I've been in the same situation. He KNEW what he wanted, but he couldn't handle it. If you reassure him that everything is ok, and that he doesn't have to be unconfortable, then maybe things will lighten up. However, I do agree that you should NOT wait for him. He needs to know that he has to make up his mind or he'll lose something he cares about. All in all, be gentle but forceful. He sounds like a sensitive soul to me. I don't think he's had feelings like this before, and having them answered back is just putting him in shock. Give it time...just not too much. |
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Jul 1 2005, 12:45 PM
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#6
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 show me a garden thats bursting to life Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,303 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,987 |
Definately commitment issues like what K!$$ said. He wants to be with you, but he doesn't? Follow K!$$'s advice. it makes sense.
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| *reflection* |
Jul 1 2005, 05:39 PM
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#7
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Guest |
he's probably scared of commitment and doesn't wanna be tied down
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Jul 1 2005, 05:46 PM
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#8
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 |
QUOTE(CrazayChristian @ Jul 1 2005, 12:45 PM) Yes, well, he sounds like he really does care. But, he sounds like he's scared. Has he had a bad past? You know, loved and lost? That is a big issue I've seen with guys that just love so deeply but are scared to get that far. It sounds to me that he's just not confortable with himself, I mean, I've been in the same situation. He KNEW what he wanted, but he couldn't handle it. If you reassure him that everything is ok, and that he doesn't have to be unconfortable, then maybe things will lighten up. However, I do agree that you should NOT wait for him. He needs to know that he has to make up his mind or he'll lose something he cares about. All in all, be gentle but forceful. He sounds like a sensitive soul to me. I don't think he's had feelings like this before, and having them answered back is just putting him in shock. Give it time...just not too much.  wow, i agree |
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Jul 1 2005, 08:22 PM
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#9
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 memories live FOREVER<3 Group: Member Posts: 1,150 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 132,793 |
yeah i agree with the "love oyu alot but scared part" have he had a gf before? since you 2 talked already theres nothing left to do.
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Jul 2 2005, 09:29 PM
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#10
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Member Group: Member Posts: 20 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 46,513 |
1. It was only a month.
2.Guys lie, just all of them, no way of getting around it. |
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Jul 3 2005, 11:36 AM
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#11
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 wings turned to ashes Group: Member Posts: 100 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 146,950 |
hey, I try not to lie! And I succeed.....b/c I'm honest about the fact that I am frightened of relationships. A lot of guys that have been hurt in the past are. And a lot of guys that haven't been hurt in the past are.
Or he's just an a-hole. Ultimately, confront him about it. Thats what must be done. Tell him how he is making you feel. Make him answer you. I'm going through something the same, and yet completely different. Which makes no sense, but it does leave me near tears at times. >.> Yes, a male just admitted to being near tears. ^.~ |
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| *mzkandi* |
Jul 3 2005, 01:08 PM
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#12
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Guest |
Sounds like someone is scared of the big C (*cough* Commitment *cough*)
You guys have been together for a grand total of 1 month. Give it some time, if its meant to be then it will be. |
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Jul 3 2005, 01:54 PM
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#13
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 lick me Group: Member Posts: 3,044 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,013 |
i agree, COMMITMENT ISSUES =/ i think you should just let him think it over, and if he really loves you that much, he'll come back. just let things be for a while.
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Jul 3 2005, 02:21 PM
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#14
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The Texan Group: Member Posts: 430 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 136,431 |
Not every guy is a lying a-hole. I know some, but that's not the point.
The point is he might want to be commited, he just fears it a little and just needs a smack up the head. Time...Time... |
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