Parents..., say the darnest things Options

[pure_potential89]

What are some of the weirdest things your parents have ever said?

Lol, today I asked my mom, "Did you cut your hair?"
Mom: "No, why?"
Me: "It looks different."
Mom: "That's 'cause I vaccuumed it."
Me: "..WHAT?!"
Mom: "Oh no wait! What is that thing..you do?"
Me: "..blowdry?"
Mom: "Yeah, that!"
Me: *Literally falls off of bed laughing.*
Mom: "That's not funny."
Me: "Haha, yeah it is."

[sandy_lumpy_shor...]

lol is vacumed like sucking in and blow dryer blows. lol vaccummed

[xx angelbabu xx]

i was driving and my dad was sitting next to me (i only have my permit).. anyways, i was trying to change lanes but this guy driving a lexus makes a turn from the opposite side of the road and tries to come into my lane.. we were about an inch from hitting each other so i turned the steering wheel the other way and went back into the lane i was in before...

this whole convo was in korean..

dad: ahh look at that crazy person! drive up next to him i want to curse him out!
me: dad.. how? you don't know how to speak english..
dad: yes i do! look.. i know this word.... PUCK! (he said that in english lol he was trying to say f***)
me: where the hell did you learn that from?!
dad:

[iheartsimba]

When I was 12...my mom asked me if I was a lesbian.

[heyyfrankie]

my dad thought i was like 17 or somewhere around there whenever i was 14. he also thought my birthday was like in june whenever it's in october. it funny in a way but it makes me upset that my own dad doesn't even know my age and/or birthday!

[slipper]

dad: ahh look at that crazy person! drive up next to him i want to curse him out!
me: dad.. how? you don't know how to speak english..
dad: yes i do! look.. i know this word.... PUCK! (he said that in english lol he was trying to say f***)
me: where the hell did you learn that from?!
dad: 

my dad actually did that. he said "puck you!" to this guy who overtook us.

me - i want one baby brother/sister.
mom - i get my period
me - the butt? (i wasnt thinking & i regret saying that)
parents - *mad look on their face* where you learn that?
me - sex ed. (i lied)

(i talk in pidgin. not an accent, just a way of talking in hawaii. if you ever come to hawaii, you might notice some locals talking this way.)

[*x____duckii*]

my dad thought i was like 17 or somewhere around there whenever i was 14. he also thought my birthday was like in june whenever it's in october. it funny in a way but it makes me upset that my own dad doesn't even know my age and/or birthday!

Aww, poor Frankie.

Anyways, my mom used to day, "You are so fresh!", but it was funny because since she has an accent, so yeah...

[heyyfrankie]

oh yeah...and whenever my mom REALLY likes something...instead of saying NICE she says like NOISE. it makes me laugh.

[*x____duckii*]

^ That's very noise of you.

[Saeglopur]

*sigh*

Me: Do you have a pen I can use?
Mom: ... what?
Me: Do you have a pen I can use?
Mom: Oh.. no.. we don't have pineapple juice.

[jue]

me and my dad are in the car. he gets mad really easily if the people ahead done drive fast.

Me: hahahaa; your not gonna get past that light.
Dad: oh yes i can (in chinese)
Me: noo your not
Dad: ohh yess i amm
Me; no your not.
Dad- c`mon babbbyyy.. let me past; c`mon babayy
-the car in frontof us pastes throught the green light just as it turned red-
me:AHAHAHAHAAA -points at him-
dad- FOOK. (F***)

[enyceXaddiction]

my parents are so dull. sometime i wish i can have a parent like paris hilton [even though i hate her] she goes out party all night haha

[angel-roh]

Me: Oma. what do you want?
Mom: I want a f*ck.
Me: what?! ROFL! HAHAHA you mean you want a fork?
Mom: Yes, a f*ck.
Me: .... oma. say PHO.
Mom: FUH
Me: 퍼크
Mom: 퍼크.
Me: wow that still sounds like it. Um... it's FOOOOORRK.
Mom: F*****************CKKKKKKKKKKKK.
Me: ok i give up.

it's funny how they cant say the right pronunciation lol.

[Paradox of Life]

I got my ear pierced twice and I have to keep an earring in the newest piercing, (so it doesn't close up) so one day it was like this:

Mom: Catherine?
Me: Yes?
Mom: Do you have something on your second hole?

o_o;

[iheartjohn]

Yes, us parents are quite the bunch.

[*jooleeah*]

When I was 12...my mom asked me if I was a lesbian.

That's because of...you know who. =/ I think. I can't quite remember.

My parents.....they're just weird. I can't remember a certain time where they were being really weird, though.

[frenchaddict88]

lol my dad pronounces things in the FUNNIEST ways.
he said determine like det-err-MINE (like gold mine) so funny!

oh yea once he dropped a gallon of milk and it broke and there was a ton of MILK all over the floor.

[demolished]

MOM: " nee stop it ah " <--chinese dialect ( you are stop it )

she mean to said " nee stupid ah " <-- you are stupid.

[toodlepops.]

God, I don't really remember. I'll edit this when I remember.

[*Weird addiction*]

mom: Sandra, give me a bottle of sperm
me: WHAT?
mom: give me a bottle of coke
me: you said sperm
mom: what? i said coke you fool
me: no, you said sperm
mom: go to your room!!

I don't know if she actually said it or i missunderstood what she said, god i was pretty sure she said sperm, now i'm confused

[*Kathleen*]

Yes, us parents are quite the bunch.

Aw, but you're a cool female parental unit.

Me: Do you have a pen I can use?
Mom: ... what?
Me: Do you have a pen I can use?
Mom: Oh.. no.. we don't have pineapple juice.

HAHA. Yeah, my parents do that. It's funny.

i was driving and my dad was sitting next to me (i only have my permit).. anyways, i was trying to change lanes but this guy driving a lexus makes a turn from the opposite side of the road and tries to come into my lane.. we were about an inch from hitting each other so i turned the steering wheel the other way and went back into the lane i was in before...

this whole convo was in korean..

dad: ahh look at that crazy person! drive up next to him i want to curse him out!
me: dad.. how? you don't know how to speak english..
dad: yes i do! look.. i know this word.... PUCK! (he said that in english lol he was trying to say f***)
me: where the hell did you learn that from?!
dad: shifty.gif

That's funny; my mom can't pronounce it right, either. But chyeah, I love when my mom talks about her gay friend, and constantly calls him a 'her,' and so I tell her, and she's like, "I'm not calling her a girl!" So I just shake my head and...yeah...just shut up.

[MrDolphin]

i was driving and my dad was sitting next to me (i only have my permit).. anyways, i was trying to change lanes but this guy driving a lexus makes a turn from the opposite side of the road and tries to come into my lane.. we were about an inch from hitting each other so i turned the steering wheel the other way and went back into the lane i was in before...

this whole convo was in korean..

dad: ahh look at that crazy person! drive up next to him i want to curse him out!
me: dad.. how? you don't know how to speak english..
dad: yes i do! look.. i know this word.... PUCK! (he said that in english lol he was trying to say f***)
me: where the hell did you learn that from?!
dad: 

lol..that...just made my day

[*mzkandi*]

My mom once said to me and my brother
"Come inside or you'll be as black as the sun" We were like huh 0_o

[snak3y3z1001]

For some reason everytime i have this convo with my parents i feel more stupid

Me: Mom/Dad have you seen my such and such?
Them: No. Ware you put it?
Me:.............


If i knew where i put it i wouldnt ask you >.<

[*paul murphy*]

Dad: What did Mrs. Doran say?
Me: Nothin much
Dad: Mrs. Taylor?
Me: Said you were a great teacher to her daughter.
Dad: Mrs. Doran?
Me: Uh...nothing.
Dad: Anybody else say anything?
Me: Don't think so
Dad: What about Mrs. Doran?
Me: