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| *stephinika* |
 Jun 10 2005, 12:22 AM
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#1
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a poem written in class about a month ago...found it in my desk so i finally typed it up. not my best, and rather emo-ish but meh. constructive criticism is appreciated, thanks.
Pain Spinning deliriously Emotions seeping all throughout her Trickling over her dry lips Eyes closed tight Despair so very close Constantly there by her side Stroking her delicate insides She’s intricately hidden away Behind invisible walls Walls that repel what is good Each thing bouncing off Helping build such a wall’s strength Fists clenched tightly Sharp nails slowly digging into her palms The feeling of needles prickling Spreading like a disease all over Screams of release, no relief at all Adrenaline pumping Her mind dizzily spinning Nothing but complexity and pain Wracking her very soul. |
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Jun 10 2005, 12:42 AM
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#2
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 that heaven is overrated  Group: Member Posts: 5,096 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 53,124 |
Wow, I really like the way you wrote that. I understand it completely, and it's pretty powerful. Nice job on it.
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Jun 10 2005, 04:09 AM
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#3
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 deleted Group: Member Posts: 3,168 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 92,276 |
very powerful. yes i can really relate
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Jun 10 2005, 10:23 PM
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#4
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
QUOTE(sharerol @ Jun 9 2005, 11:42 PM) Wow, I really like the way you wrote that. I understand it completely, and it's pretty powerful. Nice job on it.  Agreed. You did a really good job on this one. I guess everyone can relate to this if they've ever been really really angry. Wow, powerful. Good word choice and everything. Awesome awesome job. 
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Jun 11 2005, 02:17 AM
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#5
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 I'll never be who I was again.. Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
I like it!
I can relate to it really well... |
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