trust issues, how to deal with them |
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 Jun 7 2005, 09:24 PM
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#1
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Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 258 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,101  |
how do all of you deal with trust issues... im finding it hard to trust my girlfriend, the ont person who i know i should trust.. its just that ive been lied to by this person before.. she doesnt tell her parents te truth and i feel that if she cant tell them the truth what makes me think she is telling me the truth. i dont necesarily want to tell her that i dont trust her because we have already been at it about trust.. but i just find it hard to fully trust her at times...
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Jun 7 2005, 09:38 PM
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#2
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 hi, my name is hillary Group: Member Posts: 352 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 76,591 |
well, just because she lies to her parents doesn't necessarily mean she would lie to you. they're both very different types of relationships. i lie to my parents all the time to go out with my boyfriend, but i don't lie to my boyfriend.
i'm actually having trust issues with my boyfriend as well and it sucks. i can't trust him because i've been lied to by him also. my boyfriend knows i can't trust him but he's trying to do something about it and resolve this problem. i think you should talk to her. i know you don't want to but it's really what has to be done. if you don't talk to her about not being able to trust her then you can't resolve anything. good luck.. |
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Jun 7 2005, 10:12 PM
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#3
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 whaaaaaaat? Group: Member Posts: 2,293 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,660 |
if she's lied to u before, she'll do it again. i personally think that you have every right to not have complete trust in her. but remember. trust takes time to build. but it's very easily destroyed. if she's lying to her 'rents about like....where she's going with you, it's not that bad. if she's lying about if she stole cash to go buy crack...that's a different story. i'm just saying, depends on what she's lying about. if she's ur gf, just try to open up a little, so u two can get closer and have each other's backs.
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| *mzkandi* |
Jun 7 2005, 10:15 PM
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#4
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Guest |
If your gut feeling is telling you that you cant trust her in then you probably cant. Trust is essential to any relationship and if you dont have thar..then well, there isnt much of a relationship.
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Jun 7 2005, 10:49 PM
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#5
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 195 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 131,007 |
I hear ya.
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| *iNyCxShoRT* |
Jun 7 2005, 10:51 PM
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#6
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Not really it could be a whole different thing, just cause she lies to her parents doesn't mean she would to you. I mean all people have to lie to their parents sometime, to get to stay out or have an excuse =\
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Jun 7 2005, 10:55 PM
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#7
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 |
i agree with hillary, she lies to her parents doesn't mean she lies to you. i have a little trust issue with my bf too, relationships are perfect. give it time
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Jun 7 2005, 10:57 PM
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#8
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 34 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 149,934 |
I have severe trust issues myself. I tend to push people away to prevent them from getting to close so i dont have to trust them, but it takes time. Just take things slow and build upon your relationship and trust and hopefully things will work out.
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Jun 8 2005, 07:09 AM
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#9
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 naïvety Group: Human Posts: 1,303 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 488 |
QUOTE(mzkandi @ Jun 8 2005, 11:15 AM) If your gut feeling is telling you that you cant trust her in then you probably cant.  Agree. They don't call it intuition for nothing. 
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Jun 8 2005, 09:49 AM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 58 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 139,806 |
Forget 'building' trust. Trust is earned. If she has prior instances of destroying your faith in her, she has to earn any trust you place in her. I agree that the nature of relationships affect the trust level. However, if she has no reason to lie to you, then she shouldn't be lying to you. What you have to determine is, is she trying to earn your trust so you two can have a stronger relationship, or is she trying to earn trust so she can mess around, not necessarily with another person, but with her own business that you don't approve of, without you checking up on her.
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Jun 10 2005, 11:31 AM
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#11
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 ...and this is me.. Group: Member Posts: 3,518 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,899 |
Trust is something that's easily broken and if she doesn't tell her parents the truth, then you're right...why should you be so easy to trust that she is telling you the truth?? Meh, talk to her about it...I know that you might not think it's a good idea but you might as well get over it. Trust is probably one of the most important thing when it comes to a relationship. So...if you feel you can't trust her....end the relationship and move on. It's fine to do that...find someone else who you won't doubt when it comes to telling you the truth. But if you're really intent about being in this relationship then you need to stress to her how important it is to you about her being truthful.
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Jun 10 2005, 08:04 PM
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#12
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 jiyOunnn~ Group: Member Posts: 692 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 109,706 |
QUOTE(mzkandi @ Jun 7 2005, 10:15 PM) If your gut feeling is telling you that you cant trust her in then you probably cant. Trust is essential to any relationship and if you dont have thar..then well, there isnt much of a relationship. ^i agree. |
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