a poem, ala me Options

[~*~nihil curo~*~]

Just something I wrote one day in the gym during an exemption period during finals week. I'd like some constructive criticism please

Untitled

Within reach
Right beyond my fingertips
But the inches turn to miles
When you just turn away

I search for you in the crowd
Your smile catches my eye
But I fight to hold back tears
When you just walk away

I dream of your kiss
Your arms wrapped around me
But I wake breathless
When you just slip away

If I knew any better
I wouldn't reach or search
But I'm lost in your deep brown eyes
When I find I just can't turn away

Edit: Thanks ItzOnlySydney

[*stephinika*]

i like the idea and story behind it...simply written, but i like it. nice work.

[~*~nihil curo~*~]

Thanks, most of my stuff is simple because usually when I write it I don't feel up to messing around with words

[def_gn]

that's so good! I like it :)

[~*~nihil curo~*~]

Thank you

[ItzOnlySydney]

"your smile catches my eye?"

lovely poem;great emotion =)

[~*~nihil curo~*~]

That's good, I like, thank you

[*Kathleen*]

That's cute.

[~*~nihil curo~*~]

thanks