createBlog Diary, version 4 Options

[whywasisostupid]

Dear Createblog diary,

Why is he like this? I can't believe it. Maybe i should just get over him... I guess ill see him later today if he wants to hang out.

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

Dear cbDiary,
I'm really confused right now. Should I stay liking him or not. If i give up on him my grades will sink down. I like being smart right now because I'm trying so hard to impress him and I know it's wrong if I stay liking him cause he has a girlfriend. I don't want to interfere with their relationship just cause of my little crush. Sigh i don't know what to do anymore. Should i just give up? Well I'll say more later but at this moment I'm completely speechless.

Much love,
dokie xD

[Teesa]

Dear CB Diary--
Yay! All my A.P. tests are done! Only one I.B. test left and that's it! This month has been hell. Seriously. And my Bio grade has slipped to a B. I am really disappointed because getting an A in that class was a lot of work, but he just gave too many tests. Thank goodness there are re-takes, so hopefully I can take one tomorrow. Ahhh, and I don't want to even talk about math..I don't understand a thing in that class and I want to just shoot myself. I was so happy the days I missed that class..I hate it SO much. I hate the class, the teacher, the people..everything. And history now too. I'm sounding all pessimistic, so sorry =] It's almost over, I keep telling myself that. The worst is finally over. I can start to breathe.

-teesa

[xldubaliciousx]

Dear CB Diary:
I just feel so lonely now.. I do have some close friends. But I mean I don't know the people I used to hang out with, I feel like I'm missing out now. I feel stupid getting so down over such small problems.. But what can I say, I'm not happy anymore.

I can't just go with the flow and chat it up with just anyone anymore.. I don't know.. There's something wrong with me. I don't want to be gloomy because I know that I do have a good life and shouldn't take things for granted. It's just so hard to snap out of this phase though.. I really do want to get PAST all of this and just forget about it.. Move on. I just can't do it though.. Something keeps holding me back..

<33

[*jooleeah*]

Dear Diary,
I haven't written in this thing for forever.
Anyway, this schoolyear's almost over. I'm almost out of...middle school. I hate the sound of middle school. It makes me sound so...childish. I may not be completely ready for high school, but I am ready to get out of this bullshit school. Everyone's all " Oh my gosh, I'm going to miss middle school so much. blhblabhlah". I feel the complete opposite. I want to get out now! But that makes me feel so guilty, you know? Cause I want to miss this place....but I can't. I don't know. It's a weird feeling.

hm. *random* i don't want to be a freshman in high school....the term "freshman" makes me sound like an idiot.

House is going to come on soon. Later.

-julia

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

wow. um, today was certainly interesting in many ways...rather naughty too. hahaha it was so much fun though! we hung out most of the day and had a very good time...no, not like that! lol. it was fun though, to be quite honest...ack. my head hurts thinking about this...

[kaB00M]

Dear Diary,
I just hate it. I can't stand to see my friends fighting each other. There's all these fights going on. Now my other friend wants to fight this girl. She expects me to back her up, I don't know if I can do that, I don't wanna be apart of it. I don't wanna get involved but I don't wanna see my friend getting her butt kicked. Gosh, I don't know what to do. It's very hard. In addition to that, I personally know the girl she's instigating. *sighs* I just don't know........

[Looow]

Dear Createblog Diary,

So I'm def feeling better right now and I'm going go back to school but ugh for some reason I don't want to. The thing that kept me going to school was my friends. But now, I'm not sure I care so much. All the friends I used to have , have just moved on. Maybe I should too? I should stop dwelling on the past, like everyone tells me.. but I'm not sure I can.

[x LUV x ALWAYS x]

dear cb diary.

i dont wanna rant a lot on this, i have a private xanga for that which gets updated occasionally. no, it is not used for for everyday things and i only rant on it. no one knows what it is, which is why technically i dont have a xanga. i dont use it for anything other than to type shit out continuously because i desperately need to in order to get through with life. i dont even have a layout on it.

but, im stressing out like crazy. crazy. too much work; too many pissed off people. the end of this school year actually really sucks...i never thought i'd ever say that.

[inthemudhole]

Ugh..

F*ck this shit, I'm sick of it - You're going down, this is a war!
^ How I feel. (<3 Slipknot much.)

My mom wouldn't stop f*cking screaming at me yesterday.
THEY FOUND OUT!
They found out EVERYTHING that I've been keeping from them and they f*cking made fun of me for it...! I'm not even kidding.

I can't take it anymore!
No Joe for a few weeks!
He's been grounded...-_-
He snuck on to talk to me......I hope he didn't get caught. =/

I can't take it.
I'm so f*cking stressed.

I broke down.

Thanks for this,

Brie

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

i have 5 minutes, so i'll make it short. perhaps i'll add on later.
anyways, today was good and bad. i'm still really upset i realized today, about not making link crew...i don't know why i didn't. am i not good enough? its stupid really, but whatever. then i got detention cause i was late monday...i hate my school sometimes. seriously. then theres that stupid issue as always...i'm starting to feel scared about being "found out" or something...i don't know. its just stressing me out....as are many other things. i have so many things on my 'to do' list in the next short period of time, i'm seriously going crazy. i hate stress. and school. i haven't really done hw since 2 mondays ago...thats not very good. i'm slacking off so much lately, and its horrible. so many tests/projects/etc. to worry about...then there's the future. had a good talk with greg about that today. that was good. another good part of my day - having a 'feel-good-about-my-body' day so i've been dancing in my room almost naked and just trying on random clothes...its fun. i'm not completely happy with my body, but i'm actually okay with it now. i like that feeling. i actually feel sexy sometimes lol. now thats crazy. anyways...i'm watching antm soon and i just needed to let some of that out. later.

[to-devastate]

Dear cB Diary,
Today was okay, I guess. Sucked in the morning. My mom started lecturing me on how I should wipe off my eyeliner. Gah. I know i should, but just tell me; dont start effing yelling at me. Bleh. Whatever. So I was really pissed and quiet for 2 pds in school. And during the math city wide test, i took the protractor and starting scraping it against my arm. Hehe. Oh; don't worry. I won't slit my wrist. Just temptations, ya know? Hah. Well; I was feeling really confused yesterday, and today too. I felt like punching someone. Haha. Whatever, though. Now. Hehe.
Slept for 2-3 hours today. I was so tired-- dont know why. I was planning to do my layout for Heart-wreck. but i was like too sleep; and yeah. I feel so stupid. I'm suppose to be donig my exit project.. due May 16th!!.. but I'm posting in cB. Eh. Who cares now. Haha. Toodles!
-Eileen

[redpeony]

I'm tired...
I hate school... whenever it seems like i've got it all down and everything is going well, something just has to come up and ruin it. Like that math test.. I know I shouldn't be complaining about it because we all got that mark anyway, but I really thought I knew that stuff and I tried... and man it really sucks when you try and then it just ends up not being worth it.
And with English.. I should really be happy that I'm getting this mark but i guess my expectations have really gone up in that course since I actually started believing I was capable of doing this well. It seems like the only course that I can do well in and not get frustrated... but I'm just scared that that's gonna slip

And how everything fades...
Actually I've grown to become pretty tolerant of that because it's a fact and there's not really anything to be done about it. But sometimes I still wish my own feelings wouldn't change so rapidly and drastically. It's probably for the best but at this point I feel like there's never gonna be anybody who can live up to my unrealistic standards for people. I am so selfish and I always want people to do things firstly for me. That's just wrong...

Whatever. It's kinda stupid that i'm resorting to writing in a thread in a forum about my thoughts...

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,
i'm back. i love how things are right now, but i'm starting to feel so frightened. of what? people really and what else they'll say/think. i know i shouldn't care, and i try so hard...but its so difficult. i'm just scared to find out more that i don't know yet y'know? its so hard to explain, and i have no one to really talk to about it...well i do, but when they don't actually live close by or know the people i'm talking about, its not the same - though it is a great help. thanks to you - if you read this (which i doubt you will) you should know who you are ... considering you're the only one who really knows the whole story, or more than anyone does really.
sigh. i want to talk to someone so badly...but i'm so scared of being judged since i know people do already, though they don't say anything. sigh. this sucks. meh.

[gladz612]

dear cb diary,
i'm confused. i don't know what to do. i've got this very weird tingly feeling inside me. i'm back to that stage where i'm stuck in a box.. unable to get out. what shud i do? where shud i choose? shud i stay or shud i leave? there are all these questions inside me... and i just can't find the answer to them.

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

today at lunch...we were talking about religion and i don't understand alot of it. i also don't know what to believe because some/most of the stuff in the bible sounds like such bologna and science totally controdicts some of the things it says. i just don't know what believe anymore...if i say i don't believe christ and god...my mom will practically disown me. i personally don't think that is right or fair but i don't make the rules. V__V

--Frankie

[Looow]

^ I totally know how you feel, Frankie.

Dear Createblog Diary,

I don't know how its possible to recieve more than so many bad news in 10 minutes. Ugh. I was having such a good day till I came home. I guess that's how its always been. But..gosh. I don't know why this is happening. Gosh, I'm like totally crying my eyes out right now. I can't help it. I hate crying. fjkdkjgsler. *sigh* I miss the old days. when everything was such so dandy and when my family didn't have so many problems. Actually, scratch that. I've been going though family problems basically all my life. Either it was from my parents or my aunts and uncles or my sister and mom. Ever since I was little. It's a long story and hard/painful to explain but I just wish I was never born in this family. I hate going through this shit. if only my sister was still here so we could just talk/cry about everything that is going on. now she's not. I guess she has her own problems now but now who do i go to? who do i talk to? nobody else would really understand..unless they're going through it too which is a most likely no. im not the kind of person to express my feelings to anybody (actually i dont even know why im expressing myself on HERE...) anyways, i can't wait till summer or some kind of break so i can finally get out of this f**king house and forget about all that shit thats going on. I'm so going to my aunt's hosue for a month. i swear..anywhere but here. there's too much to deal with. too much arguing, yelling, bad news, and its just affecting me. i always have to listen but there's nothing i can do about it. just cry, basically. okay i'm going to stop sounding like a baby and just go somewhere else. i just needed to release all of this somewhere..

Lorena ..

[me1issaaaa]

Dear diary,

These last few weeks have been total bliss. Drew is amazing. I'm so utterly in love with this boy. Nobody in the world could EVER understand how he makes me feel. This is something real - he is my reality. This isn't just a dream. This is for real. He's mine. I can't believe I have somebody so great to call my own. He's the first thing I think of in the morning, and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. I am so, so, so, so, so lucky.

Okay... on another note, school is almost out! I can hardly believe it. This year has gone by SO fast. I've had a lot of firsts this year, I've really grown up and matured over such a short amount of time. It's amazing how the little things mold you into the person you become.

YEARBOOKS TOMORROW I'm so excited. I don't know what it is about yearbooks, but they just make everything so much better. Haha. Wow, I'm a loser.

...I can't stop smiling. It feels so great, he makes me so happy. So, so unbelieveably happy.

[*jooleeah*]

Dear Createblog Diary,
It's sad how I can't say the things I say in here to my friends. At least I can write in here, right? Right. Uhg. I'm such a parinoid bitch. It's sickening. I try to be nice, but being a bitch comes automatically. It's sad, really. I used to be nice all the time, but now all I do is yell and make fun of people. Meehh. I really can't wait for summer. School will be over in TEN DAYS. TEN DAYS. I can't believe it. This schoolyear went by so fast....but that's a good thing. During the summer, I want to meet someone new. I've felt alone for this past year and I'm not sure if I'm emotionally stable enough anymore to handle it.

I need to learn how to control myself.

Tomorrow's Friday....then on Saturday, it's Serina's graduation from college...

-Julia

[inthemudhole]

Hi.

Sigh..
Tuesday and Wednesday were the worst days of my life... And to top it all off, Joe has been grounded for over a week, and he's really the only person that I can talk to anymore. He understands. He can relate. He doesn't spazz out at me. He gets me.
Meh.. I think he's ungrounded tomorrow though..:)

Tuesday..
Wow.
Sucked ass.
School was absolutely dreadful, and the f*cking second I got into the car, my mom started SCREAMING at me.
She kept yelling and yelling and criticising me...
I couldn't take it!
I finally said, "SCREW IT!" and jumped out of the car at a red light, then ran home, and then finally locked myself in my room, thinking she'd shut up and leave me alone.
I was wrong..
She then proceeded to yell at me from outside of my room.
I was just laying there.. Crying and crying and shaking..
I went to get my favorite knife and noticed it wasn't there.
That was when I realized something was up.
My mom heard me rustling around and she definitely heard me sobbing, so then she proceeded to F*CKING MOCK ME!
SHE FOUND OUT EVERYTHING!
EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE BEEN HIDING!
My secrets... All of them.
She knows what I do.
She knows what I do.
What am I going to do now?
They're going to send me to some f*cking 'troubled teens' place, or to therapy or counseling... Something. They know.
They know everything.
She knows my biggest secret.
I feel like such a f*cking failure. I feel incomplete now that she knows my ultimate secret. I feel idiotic. I feel....strange.
I don't like this feeling at all.

I want them to leave me alone forever.
I'm not kidding.

School's out soon,

Brie

[miss barnes]

DEAR CB DiARY

F0UR M0RE DAYS 0F SCH00L. AND THEY C0ULDNT C0ME S00NER EN0UGH

REEKAH

[to-devastate]

Dear cB Diary,

Why is my life like this now? Aghhhhhhhh. I hate this. I hate this feeling. Of insecurity. And everythings oh f**king changing. Why the fcuk do i have to get a new piano teacher when i'm fine with the current one? And how come I don't even get a say in the decision? Huh? It's not like they are experiencing it. I dunno. Agh. If I do, I think I might as well quit piano if the new piano teacher is an ass. I'm going to make them suffer. Puahaha. Whatever.
Anywho. Today was alright. Still mixed feelings. So on. Blah. Blah. Blah. Whatever. Some random person IMed and i was scaring them. Hehe. Then I blocked them. Someone stalks me. =0 Now, I shall remove all my eye candy pics from heart-wretched. Haha. Good night.

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,
so today was disgusting. i woke up with that feeling but i tried to brush it off...didn't help.
school was decent i guess. i just felt so...dead. went to marcelas and that was fun...but at some times i felt like i was forcing myself to laugh or something...i don't know.
had a long, long talk with mark today about our relationship and whats going on with me and adrian and blah blah...it made me realize how much i really do love mark. i was so, so scared. of what? i don't even know...losing him i guess. i love him so much...me and adrian are really close friends thats all...i probably have let it get a tad too far now that i think about it, but i didn't mean to.
i feel like the most horrible, selfish, not caring person in the world at the moment. i think i hurt mark - and i hate myself for that. i didn't mean to...i love him with all my heart. adrian is my best friend...so i love him but differently - therefore why we say 'luf'. ugh.
today was oddly fun yet horrible. i hate myself.

[nhj_2006]

12 more days till im a senior! weeeeeeeeeee

today is friday !! weeeeeeeeeee

relay for life tonight, hopefully its gonna be fun..or else..ionno

i misssss my nerkieee

--- in a good moood -- hui

[soulless727]

Dear cB Diary,

Lindsay: "ok well when alix was here we were talkin and shes like yeah me and race could happen in the future when we get older." How is that supposed to make me happy? Lindsay said that it's a good thing....I must be blind....I must've just forgotten the whole conversation with Alix and why she wouldn't go out with me...I must've forgotten all the reasons...Our age had nothing to do with it...So why is it a factor now? I've been made backup.....Her fall buddy.....I feel like I am blind....I only see her when it rains...but it's raining and nothing....she's too busy....with Brice...

-race