Confused, or not?, Help... Options

[TearsOfAPhoenix]

Ok well I've had the biggest crush on my best guy friend for over a year now and during a conversation when I was trying to calm him over his latest break up it sort of slipped about my feelings for him (AIM). It was very indirect in a little speech I was giving him and in fear that something more direct would slip I told him it would be better that I left before I said something I would regret. He reread the conversation like I had asked him to and then IMed me thorugh my sisters account. So I got on and he confessed that he had some feelings for me, but he was confused about them. He didn't know if he saw me as more than a friend or just his best friend. I told him I felt the same and we decided to take sometime.

We hung out a lot after that and in some occasions held hands and he would hold me in his arms and just talk forever. Then, he confessed to me that he liked me and I told him that I did too. Later in that week we went to a movie to celebrate a friends birthday and we sat next to each other. He asked me out. I was shocked, this was what I had been hoping for a year, but I said that I didn't know. He asked why and I told him I didn't want to rush him. Then I asked him if he was over his ex and he responded that he didn't know. I told him that I thought he needed time and he said that he didn't and that he wouldn't have asked me out if he hadn't been ready, but he said that if I thought he needed time he would take it. He seemed so sure that he was ready that I told him I would give him my answer after the movie. Things were good until the end of the movie where he was more distant so I became confused. I became even more confused when he cried when the guy in the movie got rejected by the girl. So after the movie I went straight to the bathroom and when I came out I was bombarded by my friends questioning my decision to say I don't know. Apparently he had filled them in. The rest of the night there was an eerie silence between us and so I decided not to give him an answer.

The next day I called him and he wasn't home. Throughout the following week I tried to find a way to talk to him but he was always out of reach, until the following Thursday when I saw him. We hung out for a little but i didn't say anything because he wasn't in a really good mood and and we got into this little arguement over nothing and when he asked for a hug I pushed him away. It was really over nothing but neither of us were having a good day. That night I went home and two of my friends told me some very contradicting things. One who is closer to him told me that he had told her on Wednesday that if i didn't want to go out with him that that was my loss and that he would just get over it and my other friend who seems to be annoying him a lot about it laterly told me that he had told her that night that he wasn't sure he saw me as more than a friend and that he was confused again. This really confused me because he had completely changed his feelings over the course of one day.

I know that the solution is to talk to him about and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I just wanted to get y'alls opinion on what he could be feeling or what I could do to unconfuse him because he really is the greatest guy I've even met. We have so much in common and we can talk to each other about anything at anytime. I would really hate to lose my best friend, but I don't know if I could stand it if he decides he doesn't have feelings for me. I'm going to feel so guilty that I didn't say yes in the first place, but I didn't want to rush him into anything because he is my best friend and I really really care for him. So what do all of you think? Sorry that it's so long...

[misoshiru]

i don't really get it. so he completely changed his behavior in a day? don't go out with him. what a jerk.

[dahding]

i think it's cause he was getting signs from u that u really liked him, but then u kinda threw in that "i don't know." i know u said it cause u care about him so much, but it kinda let him down and deflated his ego a tad. so iono. talk to him about it. i think he just felt ready enough to move on, and the one girl he's after, kinda let him down. iono.

[_sarcastic_]

^agreed. you probably made him think that you don't want to be with him. talk to him about it, clear things out with him

[loljuliana]

i think it's cause he was getting signs from u that u really liked him, but then u kinda threw in that "i don't know." i know u said it cause u care about him so much, but it kinda let him down and deflated his ego a tad. so iono. talk to him about it. i think he just felt ready enough to move on, and the one girl he's after, kinda let him down. iono. 

i agree. i think that he thought that you really liked him and maybe that's how he started to like you? i really think you should just stay best friends with him. because after you 2 break up, then things wont be the same.

[FoOd]

I think you should talk to him again. I mean, make sure if he likes you, for sure.

[aznhunnie6o1]

I agree with dahding.

Talk to him about why you said "I dunno" and tell him if you still have feelings for him and stuff. Give him like a week to sort things out. Then try again.

[enyceXaddiction]

i agree. i think that he thought that you really liked him and maybe that's how he started to like you? i really think you should just stay best friends with him. because after you 2 break up, then things wont be the same.

yeah i agree with her its probably from that "i dont know" that made im change his mind.

[Shattered_Hope]

He probably thought it was rejection and you were leading him on....

[sunissed14127]

^agreed.  you probably made him think that you don't want to be with him.  talk to him about it, clear things out with him

^ I agree with that talk to him, and tell him that just because you didnt say yes right away, doesn't mean you dont wanna be with him.

[TearsOfAPhoenix]

Thanks. I'm going to talk to him. I saw him today and the entire day there were very mixed signals. Everytime I would build up the nerve to talk to him about it something would happen. We were in a group of friends so we didn't really have a lot of alone time for me to talk to him... I know I could have pulled him aside or something and I feel stupid for that but... I really don't know. One minute he's extra sweet with me and the next he's distant... the reasons I said I don't know were that I didn't want to rush him, I was so shocked, and I had the fact that my parents are splitting up constantly on my mind... it was just so complicated and he doesn't know about my parents so he probably thought it was because of him. I know there's such a lack of communication and I'm really hoping to solve that... I guess you could just say I'm scared of rejection... from him especially. the problem is we go to different schools (across the street from each other) and well would it be a bad idea to write him a letter explaining everything?