the brave, a new poem, by moi |
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 Apr 25 2005, 11:53 AM
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#1
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 Another ditch in the road... you keep moving  Group: Member Posts: 6,281 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,152  |
liquid sunlight
molten wave damn the cowards f**k the brave fortune favours the brave dreamers stumble believers have no skill poets bleed their souls out we're all looking to kill it takes just a moment to kill five times five aint twenty but one plus one is three when viewed through someone else's eyes this isnt you and me there's one more than you and me strangled by redemption i dont need you to forgive i'll never say im sorry to die is just to live there's no more time to live spring time turns to winter the oak tree's frosty glare you think that you're so righteous when you didn't even care? i know you didnt care *************** ooh... it actualy has STANZAS.... my goodness... |
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| *stephinika* |
Apr 25 2005, 10:57 PM
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#2
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ooh i like it james! it flows nicely and i quite like the way you organized it. amazing work as usual.
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Apr 25 2005, 11:16 PM
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#3
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 Want fries with that? Group: Member Posts: 692 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,652 |
Wonderful job, I loved it!
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Apr 27 2005, 12:09 AM
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#4
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 I'd rather make mistakes than break. Group: Member Posts: 121 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 117,869 |
I really liked it. Loved the repetition of words at the end of each stanza. My favorite part was the beginning, very harsh and strong like a slap in the face.
Mucho love, Alyson |
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Apr 27 2005, 03:55 PM
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#5
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Another ditch in the road... you keep moving Group: Member Posts: 6,281 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,152 |
thanks for the feedback, all
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Apr 27 2005, 04:05 PM
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#6
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 ...Alone in the darkness, and withering away... Group: Member Posts: 91 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 110,995 |
nice poem hare!
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Apr 27 2005, 04:28 PM
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#7
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 SCHGEB!SCHGEB! Group: Member Posts: 1,786 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 66,217 |
QUOTE(stephinika @ Apr 25 2005, 10:57 PM) ooh i like it james! it flows nicely and i quite like the way you organized it. amazing work as usual.  Definatly, what i was thinking. QUOTE poets bleed their souls out I love that part, its actually true, and touching in a way great job
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Apr 28 2005, 03:12 PM
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#8
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Another ditch in the road... you keep moving Group: Member Posts: 6,281 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,152 |
QUOTE nice poem hare! thanks! but you can call me james. actually, i rather like 'hare' so if you wanna, use that. lol |
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Apr 28 2005, 03:31 PM
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#9
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 Residential Crazy Child Group: Member Posts: 934 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 116,897 |
That was beautiful,
I love the repetition at the end of each line. |
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Jun 5 2007, 02:07 AM
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#10
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 fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
Oh my..
What ever happened to James? He was my favorite. |
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| *inspiration* |
Jun 5 2007, 06:05 PM
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#11
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He is now SayBloodyMary.
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