just a question from a girl, bout guys Options

[cewinee]

i dunno where to start.

my bf n i have been together for over 2 years and 2 months.
we've been in a long distant relationship within that whole time. visiting each other every 2 to 3months.
he was the first to fall in love with me, and always was the one who would bring up how he'd wanna spend the rest of his life with me, how he'd wanna live with me after college.. etc. this all didnt come out within one day tho, he jus slowly mentioned them to me throughout the 2 years.
and so i feel the same way bout him later on, and thot we were equally in love with each other. if one loved the other more, id make sure HE'd be the one who loved me more (relationship tip thing i learnt from)..

now.. we had a big thing last feb where we almost broke up. well to him it was a "break" for 3 or 4 years for us to think about our college studies cuz he said he wanted me to have a better education somewhere else other than in the philippines cuz he thot i had better opportunities n that i was forgeting bout them so that i can be nearer to him when thats not wat he wanted my first priority to be. which is understandable, but he didnt know that i had no other option than to study in the philippines cuz of financial problems.

i went crazy when he told me bout this break idea, he seemed devastated to think of making this kind of decision himself. i got extremely upset n became alittle melodramatic but i couldnt help it cuz i couldnt believe wat he was telling me after everything we've been through and been working for. he still loved me at the time n still does. he even brought up how he was ready to propose to me which shocked me cuz i never talked to him bout marriage n used to be against it until he convinced me that its a beautiful thing. n told me that he realized that its too soon to do something like that (which is understandable, i wasnt expecting it in the first place, id love to marry him but not now of course. then i stopped talking to him bout it n took a sleeping pill to jus sleep on it. the next day, we talked more calmy.. i spilled my heart out to him and my thoughts, and also reminded him of wat we have together.. later he realized wat we did have, n wat dreams we've been working for etc etc. he also mentioned how we may be too young to be in a serious reltionship, n of course i argued that point in relation to our situation and he later agreed with me.

after finally settling our issues he begged me to forgive him n to stay with him for another chance. i didnt take him back at first cuz i wanted to make sure WHY he wanted me back, wanted to know how HE felt bout me still, n that im not forcing him in any way to be with me n love me, n wat he said melted my heart n i took him back. a month later we had amazing news, my dad got a job somewhere in asia and so is sending me and my mom to live in the philppines this may (next month, where my bf lives!) and we were both psyched!!

but then my heart broke again yesterday morning...

ive been paranoid the passed 2weeks (im currently visiting him now since 3weeks ago) bout my bf. to tell u the truth, ever since that happened last feb 15 & 16th, ive been paranoid up and down if he'd think of leaving me again.. paranoid he doesnt love me like he used to. etc etc.. i had alot of questions on my mind. finally i just cried of being so paranoid 3 or 4 times at his house without him knowing. i then asked him straight if i had ANYTHING to worry bout, if he's attracted to another girl, if he loves me the same way i do, so many questions and all his answers seemed so sincere. even acting shocked that id ask him this.

i told my best friend the other night bout how id been feeling this way n that i talked to him bout it all cuz i was happy we settled it n jus moved on. i got really drunk that night with my girl friends n went home really late(came home 6am). my bf stayed up all night waiting for me (i stay with him when i visit) cuz he was worried sick, when he finally saw me home he was really angry cuz he was so worried. then he went straight to bed n i got changed all scared that hes mad at me cuz i hate him being mad at me =( then i went to lay down n he started talking whilst crying so much telling me how worried he was. i felt so bad for scaring him like that yet felt so touched that he cared that much, he cried n he rarely cries. i later then cried with him n he turned around n comforted me anyway telling me he'll always love me and that he was just scared id done something stupid etc. n we fell asleep.

next morning.. i wake up really early and find myself paranoid again cuz i had a bad dream about him. my best friend said that, instincts are usually correct. my bf is someone whose ALWAYS on the computer and so she suggested i look through his online history conversations that he has with this certain girl i felt he was attracted to. i dunno WHY i thot that but it was jus pure instinct. i cant explain.

i know its wrong to look through ppl's personal privacy, but he also looks through my things for fun or cuz hes a jealous person n wants to get pissed at any guy who tries to hit on me on online convos or in emails (he never gets pissed at ME tho if a guy hits on me n all that). so i looked at the history of the convos he had with this certain girl. and i found something that broke my heart and left me sitting in this chair for an hour thinking bout it n wishing it were just a dream. i read it 2 or 3 more times to make sure.

he told her he liked someone in his school, well atleast starting to. n she was all like tell me tell me! but then she remembered he's with me n stuff so asked why he's liking another girl all the sudden. and his answers drove me crazy. he was saying how I love him more than he loves me like its a bad thing, how I bring up how we should live together etc. when it ALL of it came from HIM. he told her that if this girl he liked liked him back, then he'd "go for it". he said he wouldnt cheat on me, he'd tell me first. he said he doesnt know if he'd want to marry me (remember how he said to ME he was ready to propose) then he also said that he doesnt know still bout his feelings for this other girl cuz he still loves me n he also feels bad for leaving me if he does. i was so extremely shocked and devastated. i never knew he'd do something like this. he's the kind of person that you'd think is the sweetest most kindest and honest person, to everyone not just to ppl he goes out with. i thot he loved me so badly, at times id think he loves me more than i love him.

the girl's reaction; she was jus shocked n didnt really respond to how he said he'd go for her if she liked him, n instead kind of stood up for me even tho we duno each other. she was saying like how me loving him more than he loves me is something he should be greatful for n that he's so lucky etc. n of course he felt guilty n felt like an a-hole n tried to explain it differently to sound like a better person which was really obvious. first she changed the subject by talkin bout her ex that she was thinking of getting back with cuz he liked her again n my bf gave her advice for a bit then she had to go, n he was like 'wait first i need to expain somethin' n said that "what im really saying is that IF i didnt have a gf, id go for you cuz ud be cool to go out with" n she jus said ok i understand. so atleast i knew she wasnt attracted to him. but wat he said showed that he was embarrassed of being rejected cuz it was obvious she didnt have feelings for him and so he turned it around abit.

this conversation took place 2 or 3days before he spoke to me bout this break idea back in feb. so i thot that his crush on this girl had something to do with the idea of us taking a break, i dunno tho. i read the conversation they had on the day that i was devastated bout the break thing when i stopped talking to him, n he was as devasted as i was bout the situation telling the girl bout how shit he felt, but not into too much detail of how he felt bout me so i couldnt find out bout that cuz she had to go offline.

i read the rest of the convos with her n found that he gradually chatted with her much less than he used to. id find he'd tease her once or twice, probably to hint her that he doesnt like her anymore? i dont know again. cuz in the convos before he told her he liked her he sounded like how he sounded when we first got together, not as obvious but still i could tell. n there wasnt any teasing watsoever.

i called my two best friends, one a guy whose a mutual friend of me n my bf. he told me that my bf may have just felt vulnerable at the time or something n that he couldnt possibly still like the other girl uptil now. he offered to talk to my bf bout how he felt bout me like man to man to find out if he really did mean the things he said to me the day he begged n we got back together and everything else he's been saying to me uptil now.

im so terrified of wat decision i should make. my other best friend whose a girl is totally pissed about it but told that it is possible that he could not feel that way anymore bout the other girl n could love me even more regretting wat he said to the other girl bout me n how he felt for me. but told me i should talk to him bout it straight.

i want to have him answer all the questions i asked him myself this week but through a friend instead of me this time cuz he could jus be saying those things to make me feel better? he seemed like such a stranger in the convos with the girl.

i want to know if he still does love me the same way he did before, if he does still want to have a future with me like he said he does, if he's still attracted to the other girl or any other girl..

im so scared yet trying to stay strong bout the whole thing. im leaving tomorrow back to where i visited from to do some immigration paper stuff to leave the country to move back here next week. i havent even made my decision on when to talk to him or to even talk to him bout it myself at all. i dunno how. and i dont know if theres any point into talking to him myself bout it first cuz i wouldnt be sure if wat he says will be sincere this time cuz he's tole me and the other girl comepletely different things. know wat i mean? ill have to find out through other ppl.

cuz firstly, wat if he totally regrets wat he said or even how he felt bout the other girl n wants to move on from it n completely forget bout it n be with me. cuz thats wat he's like when he makes big mistakes, he always wants to forget bout it n never mention it again cuz of guilt. so should I do the same n move on n pretend i never saw it? n jus talk to him bout it as SOON as i see obvious signs that he's not as intrested in me.

secondly, i am pissed at him for wat he did, and have a feeling deep down that i should jus back off n not be as affectionate, to show him that i have other things to do besides be with him 24/7 (he always keeps me in the house with him or gets sad when i go out cuz he'll miss me or watever, which is sweet in a way but things have to change), and to also get used to not having to depend on him anymore n be strong bout myself. so that if the day comes that he gives up n wants to break up, i can handle it, like i did when i broke off with my other long term ex.

im in such a confusing state right now, i never in my mind expected something like this to truly happen. im so unbelievably disappointed and have no more faith in "serious/long term relationships", i truly believe now that nothing lasts forever. he made me argue that for the passed 2 years and now i jus got a slap on the face from everything he taught me.

i also noticed that the time he'd been telling the other girl bout how he'd go for her n the whole week he'd been talking to her before that doing alittle flirting with some innocent compliments, it was during a time that i was rarely online for 2weeks cuz i had to stay after school to work on a play until night time, n the time difference was very high so by the time im home he's ready to wake up to the nxt morning. i was thinking maybe cuz of me not being that available n him missing me so much left him very vulnerable leading him to have feelings for a girl thats physically there. i dunno. wat u think??

sorry for such a long post but i have to say it in detail so i could get the best feedbacks.
wat do you think his feelings n thoughts are now?
why did he lie to the girl saying i was the one who brought up living together, n that i love him more than he does etc.
should i find it normal for guys to be attracted to another girl whilst with a serious girlfriend anyway - cuz its a guy thing? its instinct. i need guy opinions on this one pls.
should i just learn from wat he said to the girl and be less loveable or clingy or something if thats wat he REALLY thinks of me (ill need to find that out thru our mutual friends)
should i just move on myself? it'll be hard of course cuz since that morning ive been paranoid wondering if he's thinking about her. should i jus move on n learn to pretend that i didnt see that n work on our relationship?
pls say ANYTHING bout all this.. ur opinions.. how i should feel, how i should think, how he could feel, wat he could be thinking..
have any of you gone through something like this? did it work out?
is this kind of problem normal in serious relationships? nothing's perfect, things can work out if you want them to (thats wat my bf told me when he begged me back)

thank you so much for your time.

[kryzcoak47luv666]

First I give myself mad props to read all that, man that was LONG!

Ok anyways

Yeah I say its messed up that he even thought about going with some one else, and completely twisted everything, it basically means he feels like he's missing something. I find it so weird that he's so "in love" with you, and yet he tried to hook up with another girl, thats messed up!

I would really think that maybe he's been doing this all along, but you never know, but you def need to talk to him, and you shouldn't be checking other peoples IM's, especially if you weren't ready for the hard truth, but now that you know, be cautious, and just try to avoid getting hurt.

I can only suggest that you be honest and tell him you saw the convo, and you read every word and talk to him about everything, and if he acts stupid about it 4get it, and move on...

I personally feel that you shouldn't give up completely on men, because its kinda like hating a race based on what a couple people did, eventually you will meet Mr Right, we all do, but after this, I suggest you take some alone time, and just stay single until your ready to deal with another guy....

Thats all I have to say, hope it helps...

[cewinee]

pls im desperate for an answer to this question..
i recently found out that a few days before my bf n i almost broke up back in feb he'd told another girl that he was starting to like her n that if he werent with me he'd go for her. when we almost broke up he changed his mind n begged me back the day after telling me things that sounded so sincere. (we're in a long distant relationship since 2 years ago, visiting each other every 2-3months) im moving back here (where he lives) next week. but after reading wat he said to the girl two days ago im not sure of how much he really does love me. i also noticed that the time that he'd been flirting with this other girl with innocent compliments for a week n told her he liked her, was during a time that i was rarely available to talk to him for over a week cuz i had to stay after school for important play practices, plus the time difference was extremely high so by the time i come back home its passed midnight for him n he's asleep. after we got back together ourselves, i noticed that he gradually chatted with this other girl much less.

question is..
do you think he may have just been extremely vulnerable then? like should i find it normal that a guy no matter wat will get attracted to another girl on n off even whilst in a serious relationship? like its a "guy thing" but if he's still staying together with me n even begged me back then he really does love me? its jus temperary thing to be attracted to other girls? he's not the type to cheat, he'd break up with me first. n should i jus forget it n move on?

or is this something i should really worry about?

please help.

[KELLYYY]

First I give myself mad props to read all that, man that was LONG!

Ok anyways

Yeah I say its messed up that he even thought about going with some one else, and completely twisted everything, it basically means he feels like he's missing something. I find it so weird that he's so "in love" with you, and yet he tried to hook up with another girl, thats messed up!

I would really think that maybe he's been doing this all along, but you never know, but you def need to talk to him, and you shouldn't be checking other peoples IM's, especially if you weren't ready for the hard truth, but now that you know, be cautious, and just try to avoid getting hurt.

I can only suggest that you be honest and tell him you saw the convo, and you read every word and talk to him about everything, and if he acts stupid about it 4get it, and move on...

I personally feel that you shouldn't give up completely on men, because its kinda like hating a race based on what a couple people did, eventually you will meet Mr Right, we all do, but after this, I suggest you take some alone time, and just stay single until your ready to deal with another guy....

Thats all I have to say, hope it helps...

Yeah, I agree with her. I almost died half way reading that first post.

[misoshiru]

i actually finished it.

to tell you the truth, it wasn't exactly right for you to be going through his ims. if you tell him, he might just get really mad at you and break it off.

i'm not sure why he'd lie about it, but it's definately weird. since you guys have a long-distance relationship, it is possible that it's been going on for quite a while.

i hope you guys can work things out. don't give up too quickly.

[soulless727]

such a shame....im a one woman man so i cant really tell you.....i think if hes going out with you then he shouldnt be looking out for other girls. you are asking if hes vunerable.......why is this? he was looking for love when you 'couldnt' give it to him......if he really loved you then hed understand why you couldnt and he'd wait for you......but thats just in my opinion....sorry if you really like this guy

[Chii]

i read the whole thing...well i kind of skimmed the last paragraph though but i think i got the gist of it...

to tell you the truth, it wasn't exactly right for you to be going through his ims.  if you tell him, he might just get really mad at you and break it off.

it doesn't matter that she "invaded his privacy" he does it to her all the time, and it's his fault for attempting to cheat on her AND keeping evidence.

you have to confront him...because holding this is is just going to hurt you and your relationship and your self esteem. it's horrible that he would give your relationship of a few years for someone else because it seems convenient that they're in the same school...

he seems a little shady...it's like who is he lying to? you or that girl? he tells you he loves you and wants to marry you yet he tells her you say it...

you're always going to wonder maybe he just isn't who you thought he was...maybe he's not the guy you fell in love with, maybe he was never that guy if you keep this bottled in.

it doesn't matter that you looked at his private stuff, you have concrete evidence that he's lying and that he's not being faithful. he told you he wanted to take those big steps in your relationship but he said otherwise to some other girl. as much as the truth may hurt...you deserve to know what's going on...go confront him...

[silver-rain]

I read it all.

I think you should confront him about what you read. Ask him about it, see what he says. If he lies about it, you can always tell him that you looked through his convos, but then that might get you into a huge fight... Because you definitely don't want to keep this all inside, it'll just hurt more, trust me. I've been keeping some things to myself until it got too much and I had to tell my boyfriend.

But anyways, you should try to work this out, because you've been together for so long, and that you really do love him. I kinda know how you feel, sometimes I feel like I love my boyfriend more than he does, and I tell myself that I'll try to love him less or be less clingy or something, but doesn't really work with me.

Maybe you should get your friends to see what he says, he might just be saying those things to make you feel better... you'll never know unless you ask.

[ApocalypseAelis]

I read the whole thing. GO ME. Anyway...


I think you should confront him...first, don't mention the IMs, just ask him things like "Okay, I want to know if you really love me the way you say you do" or something...if he says he does, bring up the IMs...he may be angry at first, but if he goes through your stuff like you said, I don't see why you shouldn't go through his stuff. Besides, the IMs are evidence (like chii said) of him not being completely honest...


From what you described of him in the first paragraphs, he seems like a good guy...but you don't know what he may be like to others...

On the other hand, chatting online isn't really the best proof that he doesn't love you as much as you love him. I mean, I've said a lot of stupid things online; people can say things they don't mean online...saying things online is just different from talking in reality.




I recommend a good, long talk with him...look him in the eyes, be serious. If he's the bf you described, he'll tell you the truth and how he feels.



Anyway, I hope things work out for you.

[Shattered_Hope]

That was really, really long....
-What do you think his feelings and thoughts are now? Probably that he was stupid to confess to the girl that he likes and get rejected...so now you're his stable option....He has to make it work with you because the other girl is not interested...So..I guess since he's intent on this....he does "love you"....
-Why did he lie to the girl saying I was the one who brought up living together, and that i love him more than he does? He probably did that to make it sound like an excuse or that you're clingy...or whatever you call it these days..He just wants to make you sound like this person who expects alot from him....to make this girl have sympathy for him and like him more...basically make you look bad with her...
-Should i find it normal for guys to be attracted to another girl while they are with a serious girlfriend anyway - cause its a guy thing? It's instinct? I need guy opinions on this one please. I'm not a guy....but I'll still give you my opinion on it.. I think it is normal for a guy to think another girl is cute during the relationship. But I doubt they'll pursue it because they're already taken and are in serious relationship...guys will give it a thought and probably never think about it again...
-Should i just learn from what he said to the girl and be less loveable or clingy or something if thats what he REALLY thinks of me (ill need to find that out through our mutual friends).. He probably didn't really mean that...he's the one that's probably too clingy..like I said before...he said it as an excuse to like this girl more than you...and a lame reason to want to break up with you...but yeah...you should be less clingy or loveable anyway....and less dependable if you are already...
-Should i just move on myself? it'll be hard of course cause since that morning i've been paranoid wondering if he's thinking about her. should i just move on and learn to pretend that i didn't see that and work on our relationship? A relationship is based on trust.....don't be paranoid if he's thinking about her...you can't expect him to think about only you 24/7. You can't just pretend nothing happened...and that you didn't see that conversation...the only thing you can do is talk to him about it...or confront him about it....but be careful what you say....out of embarrassment of being rejected and everything...he could get angry...and the results won't be so nice...
I mean...confront him at your risk...and think about what you will say before you say it...but if you want to pretend it never happened then don't talk to him about it and live with it for the rest of your life.
I hope you figure out what to do....

[Eryi]

This was posted already in the boy locker! but however this entry is loong.

[jordanriane]

Condensed versions are always the best route to go. You blabbed on about stuff that was irrelevent.

Anyway, I honestly have had the same problem with my boyfriend, concerning the internet.

Honestly, it's going to do you no good to snoop. It'll reek more havoc then you would know how to handle. Not only that but even if you confront him, you'll still come out the a-hole, no matter what you say to spite that.

That's why I haven't talked to my boyfriend about a couple of issues with some ladies he talks to online. I do make horrid references as to what I think the girls are, but he knows that there's a line he will never cross, as he won't need to.

Just ask him subtley if there's anything he wants to tell you. Make him feel guilty for some odd reason, but do not mention you snooped. It will not make things better at all.

[cHuNsAbAbIe012]

it WAS wrong to go through his stuff. i get all paranoid with my boyfriend lately cuz something like that happened too n i went through his stuff n i confronted him n he got mad crazy. yelling at me n shit. but it was wrong of him to start liking another girl. it may be over but he might go to another girl cuz it seems like he feels like something is missing. my boyfriend did the same thing to me. i know wat ur going through. u have to ask him how he feels about u n if he needs time off to see other girls or something or to TRULY figure out wat he wants.

[jordanriane]

it WAS wrong to go through his stuff. i get all paranoid with my boyfriend lately cuz something like that happened too n i went through his stuff n i confronted him n he got mad crazy. yelling at me n shit. but it was wrong of him to start liking another girl. it may be over but he might go to another girl cuz it seems like he feels like something is missing. my boyfriend did the same thing to me. i know wat ur going through. u have to ask him how he feels about u n if he needs time off to see other girls or something or to TRULY figure out wat he wants.

Honestly, it's not wrong of him to like another girl.
It's just the nature of human beings. Survival of the fittest.

Just because they are dating, does not mean that what they have is what either of them really what. They may have confessed it, but after awhile, with age, you realize different things as you gain more knowledge. It's only life and the world goes on whether you want it to or not.

[Eryi]

Don't post this in 2 places at once, however the one in relationships is much longer than this one.

[rOckThISshYt]

I truely believe that you should give him a chance. Especially because you're moving back.

No one can change their feelings. No matter how much you love someone, attration is still abundant between other people. I think that's a good thing. Real love would prove that they wouldn't go after other people even if they find them attractive or if they started having lesser feelings (than you) towards the person (especially in long distance relationships). The fact of the matter is, if there was no attraction to other people, there'd be no reason to not be faithful. But the fact that he's holding off for you is definatly proving his love. That's what I believe anyway.

Also, I believe that the fact that you guys couldn't talk or be together played a toll on him. So I think you should see how he is when you finally move back.

Don't worry about it for now and good luck.

[babycarrot]

omfg here's another long one. GUYS IM SORRY! Ahah oh its cewine btw! new account! i cant log out for some reason! =( anyway i tried to make it as short n brief as i could BUT LOOK AT IT!! i cant do it!! hahah im a blabber i always want to be as detailed as i wannnnt! sorryy! =( anyway read if u want to:

thank you so much everyone for your opinion, i took every bit of ur posts into consideration and im so happy to hear such good advice and opinions.

about reading the IM's;
yeah i did feel very guilty for reading them after i cooled off bout wat i actually read. i thot like, "i was probably not meant to read that at all" cuz it'd screw with my head n my trust of him for god knows how long..

anyway ive been thinking bout the whole thing, bout wat to say and tried to suck it all in, tried to clear my head n tried to be as understandable as i could bout the situation.. however when it came to confronting him i became alittle more aggressive so he knows that im serious but as understandable as i could be too so he doesnt feel like im controlling him around. i talked to him last night, i jus stood up n told him 'i wanna ask you something'.. n he got up n we were holding each other standing up (its a way of us showing that we're connected n listening to each other). instead of telling him i read the IM's, i told him i heard rumors, however said NO NAMES so i dont involve people cuz i hate doing that. i made it look like "ppl" from his school who are friends with my friends outside of their school have been talking like a casual conversation bout me and my bf. i didnt make it look like they were talkin bout wat my bf did couple months ago online as if they wanted to hurt him so he doesnt get pissed at anyone he could think of. (i know it sucks for me to lie but i took some of ur advices n decided not to tell him bout the IM's)..

i started off asking "if you were hiding something from me, something that would hurt me concerning our relationship and other ppl, would it be for my benefit? to hide it?" course with my blabbing mouth i went into detail with the question so he gets wat im saying lol. n he said "if it was something i regretted, then yeah i wouldnt tell you bout it so we can move passed it.. but that doesnt matter cuz im not hiding anythings! =D" when he said the last sentence he was trying to cheer me up or somethin cuz he could tell i was abit down bout somethin. but i kept my serious look n tone n said "cuz ive been hearing things for the passed week bout you being attracted to another girl a couple months ago before we almost took that break.. even told her u liked her, a girl in ur school".. his eyes popped n eyes got alittle watery all like "what!? who? i never even hang out with a girl, im jus home all day on the computer and" kept going on bout how its impossible for him to do that n saying how he loves me..

the whole time he was explaining i kept looking at him in a way that would make him feel so incredible guilty.. i looked sad yet so serious, it was perfect cuz i wasnt pretending. i interupted him and said "no look.. lets say you did.. whether its outside of ur home or even on chat..*hint*.. i thot bout it and if it was just a temporary crush or attraction u had on some girl, i could deal with that, i really could because id know its jus temporary and that ur a guy and guys tend to have attractions towards other girls even tho theyre in a relationship. i get the impression that u did like a girl, but the day we had that serious argument and talk bout staying together and having a future together back in feb, u felt so unbelievably guilty and regretted saying such a thing to another girl behind my back and decided to forget about her completely and concentrate on us" etc etc..

his eyes became more watery yet tried to hide it.. i could tell that he was feeling the most guilt he's ever felt.. or something like that, n didnt have the strength or self esteem to admit it. thats wat i thot inside, but to him my tone was still aggressive yet wat was coming out of my mouth was understandable. he kept denying it, as if he were begging to not bring it up again cuz he'd already moved on from it. then i told him straight "listen.. i am a strong person, u know how understandable i can be n u know how serious i am right now.. if u still feel anything for another girl, esp if its that same girl i hear u told u liked a couple months ago, then dont want to stick around being some back up and waste MY time giving my all to a person who wont love me the same in return. i have other things to do and i have other ppl in my life. i love you more than anything and i still love you as much as i did 2years ago, my feelings may have been up and down but god knows i still love you, and if u feel the same then im willing to do anything for you. but if you feel like u wanna see other ppl (he interupts n shouts NO i dont want to! i continue..) IF you do.. tell me now, even just a 'yes', cuz dont let me get on that plane back home tomorrow night and wonder if im wasting my time and urs. dont wait til i come back after a week to break up with me, tell me now PLEASE im begging you just tell me (avoiding to cry, stayed strong n serious), n he kept saying "NO, i want to be with you, no one else, i dont like anyone else, cuz i just love YOU, PLEASE understand that, pls believe me.."

i didnt easily believe him and just went on. told him "dont to be with me or love me just because u feel bad that if we break up ill be devastated.. i will be be devastated but i will move on from it." i told him straight, tried to make it somehow easier for him to say 'yes i wanna break up' so i can know the truth if he really wants to. he kept saying no, begging to believe him. i kept finding more ways to make it easier for him to break up with me if he actually always wanted to but he kept hugging me saying "no no no pls celine i want you. i really do" then i finally asked "do u want to be with me? do you want us to keep going? how do u feel about me now?" etc.. n he sounded sincere, he almost cried.

later he looked really pissed bout how "ppl" seem to be "trying to ruin our relationship" as he put it.. thank god i didnt mention names. i told my closest friends that if he spoke to them asking them bout it, they say that its none of their business n they dont wanna be involved.

i decided to give him another chance, i felt relieved, i felt touched that he still wanted to be together after everything ive said to him so frankly.. my best friends who know bout this are really disappointed in him, but hey its our business, its our relationship.. he said he still wants to be with me, he tried to be as sincere as he could, he begged, he teared up.. he may have denied wat he did, but im only gonna see it as because he didnt want to hurt me, and he'd been forgetting and regretting it ever since it happened etc etc. i dunno how to explain..

i also decided that this is the last warning.. i mean it only happened once but im not gone let a guy play me twice, even tho it was a temporary thing.. if he really does love me he wont do it again n realize how incredible our love is.. if i find he does something like this again, im gona walk out, no more chances..

meantime im gona be less dependent on him n be more independent cuz thats one of the things ive learnt from this experience. ill also learn to stop writing such long freakin posts hahah sorry guys. and thanks to all of you who have put up with my writing and blabs, really sorry if i wasted ur time! but i jus wanna say for those who bothered to read everything n reply, u rock!! u really made an impact on my feelings and thoughts and helped a great deal =)

lastly.. if you have any opinions on wat happened in our 'talk', feel free to say anything. do u think he loves me after giving so many chances in breaking up with me to see other ppl n even trying to persuade him yet he still wants me? etc etc say anything.

thanks again everyone =) ill be moving back next week n we'll see from there how our relationship goes =) take care!

[babycarrot]

I truely believe that you should give him a chance. Especially because you're moving back.

No one can change their feelings. No matter how much you love someone, attration is still abundant between other people. I think that's a good thing. Real love would prove that they wouldn't go after other people even if they find them attractive or if they started having lesser feelings (than you) towards the person (especially in long distance relationships). The fact of the matter is, if there was no attraction to other people, there'd be no reason to not be faithful. But the fact that he's holding off for you is definatly proving his love. That's what I believe anyway.

Also, I believe that the fact that you guys couldn't talk or be together played a toll on him. So I think you should see how he is when you finally move back.

Don't worry about it for now and good luck.

hey i loved ur advice and opinion thank you so much this is 'cewine' who posted that topic! i have a new user cuz i tried to hide from my bf, blah its complicated! but i cant seem to log off this account =( anyway to see wat happened between me n my bf see this topic click here
read wat 'babycarrot' said obviously which is me. thanks again =) warning: its all damn long hahaha sorry!!

[multifaceted]

jsut remember if he starts to really get into that other girl, dump him. =]

[soulless727]

purple ponies (self-deleted 12/06)

[onemanshow]

i only believe that no matter how flirticious she / he is... he will change for u if he loves u enuff.

[angelrevelation]

wow that was extremely long... but i think i understood it mostly.

so your bf was talking with the girl (hinted going out with her) before your break? but then you got back together, and he cried and all that after you got drunk and everything? or was that before......

have you told him you went through his convos? maybe it might make him fess up somethings

i can't imagine how you must have felt when you read it. i mean HE was the one who brought up the whole marriage thing

good luck hope it all works out

[soulless727]

purple ponies (self-deleted 12/06)

[x shootingstar x]

I read ALL OF YOUR POSTS and EVERY single reply. I rock! right? haha.

Anyway, I can never believe and don't ever want to go through what you did.

I still think he shouldn't have denied it. He should have told you the truth when he had all those chances to. You should sooooooooo ask him straightly and he should tell you straightly about that IM convo.

That is a heartbreak. So sad. But if I was the girl, I'll be so super pissed. Even more when he denies it. I rather for him to tell me the truth! Update us on this. I really want to know how it goes.

[literemix24]

I think that you guys should talk this over. You should ask him all those things, and if he doesn't.."confess" I don't think theres anything left.