createBlog Diary, version 4 Options

[jennyjenny]

Dear cB diary,
My vacation has been going good. No complaints. I'm kind've glad that you went to Florida. At first, I was thinking to myself "I have no one to talk to online every morning." But we wouldn't talk about anything meaningful. We would talk about the stupid things and talk about doing stuff, but never actually do it. I guess I actually did stuff and talked on the phone with Steph. Is she just a substitute? I don't know, maybe not. But I don't know, it feel as if I can actually talk to her while you are not really my friend but merely a girl that is just there to talk about their day with. We're not best friends, or at least you don't think so. We're going to slowly drift apart and one day we're never even going to talk to each other. Hell, we barely do now. At least this week, compared to the other weeks of vacation, I actually did something. I'm glad that I didn't sit home and mope while you were having fun. Sometimes, I really hope we will become friends and forget about what happened. And I hope you have some huge fight with her, because you know how much it bothers me that you are friends with her. I thought I was okay yesterday, but you signed on and I saw your profile and it was just </3. I was actually happy, and I saw your profile and it was like old times where I would wait for you, but you are never going to come back. I know that, but I can't do anything about it and I don't think I'm going to get over it. I know we're not friends, maybe that's why whenever I'm in your profile, it never says "bffl" at the end like you do to others. I'm hurt.

-jenny

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

wow. that is all i have to say after last night. there were at least 100 people here! there were people here that didn't even go to martin! and i also got drunk. DRUNK!!! i didn't think i was going to actually go that far but i just kept on drinking those margaritas. i had about 5 glasses of margarita mix. i just can't believe how much fun it was. whoever didn't come missed the party of the year! and guess what else happened, edwin got drunk, too! he was soooo funny. i know he was drunk because he smoked his first cigarette! let's just say, it was an interesting night!

--Frankie

[kyuubi319]

Dear cB Diary,
I've been surprisingly happy despite what's going on around me. I'm in danger of failing Social Studies and things of that sort, but hell, I'm pretty damn happy. I think about him a lot. I really like him. He's the greatest and just thinking about his dorky smile makes me giggle. A certain friend of mine is a total hypocrite and I hate it. Woodrow Wilson is surely filled with a lot of assholes. But whatever. I feel happy and that's all that matters. Of course, I wish he hadn't gone to SC. It's only been 2 days. I still have to wait another 3 days until I can see him. I actually want to go back to school. I miss him..
I went to Trenton this afternoon. it was actually quite depressing. Trenton isn't exactly a lovely place. It's actually pretty run down. It made me sad to think that people are forced to live there. I saw two homeless people on my way there and i felt utterly sympathetic.
It makes me mad that some people do things just to get sympathey. But what makes me more mad is when it works. Why is it that now, I'm suddenly a bad person? I am a good person. Sure, I have my flaws, but i try to be good. She's spreading the sickest lies about me and it's upsetting. My own friends are questioning me. It's really unfair. I hate it. She dislikes me for no reason. I can't help it that I fell for him. I can't help it that he likes me. It's not as if she's still infatuated with him. But then why does she spread rumors like this and make up lies about me? Why does my personal life even concern her? We aren't even friends anymore. I only wanted to know why she hated me so much and all of a sudden she can only answer this by bringing up my past relationships? I lost a friend because of her because she makes me out to be an apparent ho. It's so unfair. My own friends questioning me. It honestly makes me want to cry. I guess I just have to deal with it, though.
As long as I have him, I'll be okay, though. He's the bestestestestestest.

sincerely,

sandy-dandy

[*jooleeah*]

Dear createblog diary,
We're only a month away. One month.
I've hated this place ever since I came here. It's good to know that I just have to suffer one more month and then get out. I'll probably get all teary-eyed ( I know that's contradicting) just because of it. Tears of joy? I hope so. Andy's going to Northview/Chattahoochee. He's so lucky. I'll miss that kid.

That reminds me. Jenny's leaving too. I just got to know her, and now she's going to be gone. Okay, she's only leaving for China to study. But Evelyn said that if she likes it over there, she can stay for a year. A YEAR. That's way too long. And I know she'll love it there....there's too much bs happening to her over here. Meeehh.

I WANT SUMMER.

[*mzkandi*]

Dear CB,
Well my school semester is coming to a close. I have a extra credit paper to do tommorrow but it should be pretty easy because it pertains to science and i love science. i need to get brainstorming on a media project have to do for my southern woman class this upcoming week
Also, I have a new car, well not exactly new and its not exactly mine yet. I have a few things I have to do before it can be mine and I can hardly wait.

[Chii]

dear createBlog diary,

i'm not sure why i'm writing but i don't know...it's like i thought i hade life figured out, or at least had an outline but so many things freak me out...what if johnny's plan falls through...? i wouldn't mind working a 9-5 job, as long as it puts money in the bank and provides us with food and a place to stay...but johnny wouldn't want me to work...

i'm afraid of being pregnant...i might be but i'm not sure...the condom may have leaked...i did the math, if i really am, i'll give birth before my 18th birthday. we're supposed to get up and go when i'm 18 because by then he'll be 18 too. this will mess everything up, i pray to god i am not pregnant, i would never want to have a child out of wedlock...and have our future ripped away from us. lord knows i'd love to bear johnny's children but just not now...

i regret quitting piano so many years ago...i know you shouldn't regret whatever you did because that makes you who you are, but i don't think that applies here. in music class, i appreciate the piano more...i wish i still had one all for myself...the piano is such a beautiful instrument...

who am i anymore? i thought i was growing up but after all this, i'm back to who i was 7 years ago...a confused little girl...i hate how everything is so complicated

i love johnny, he's so sweet to me i love him so much. things in our relationship seem to be looking up, heh our 1 year anniversary is 100 days from now...and i'm freaking out...i don't know what to get him or what to wear. i've had a dress i planned to wear on our anniversary but i'm having second thoughts on it... i have an idea of what to give johnny but i don't know...blah why can't our anniversary be a month away, i work better under pressure when people aren't depending on me

ha, i thought of a new confession, i love that paris hilton song...i wish i could find a better version of it

back to tahoma i go...i try to evolve but i always return to my roots

much love,
M.L. x3

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

today was a good day, except for when i came home and the fact i'm losing my voice and we're leaving for whistler on thursday for a music festival and i'm singing in choir....bleh.
parents suck. i'll leave it at that for now.
and yeah. i miss him. weird. eh. nothing more i can do. i've finally admitted some shit to myself and in an indirect way to him too.
we'll see what happens.
life can be so great yet shitty all at once. its stupid.

[yukichan]

dear cB diary..
had a bad day..kind of had moments when i wanted to kill myself..
tomorrow is the beach clean up..hurray!lol..
i cant believe **** admitted liking me..i never knew he liked me..i was so shocked..lol..
i dont c anything good about me..i look ugly and all..i wonder what it is that others c in me...
thats it..
good night everyone!
)(nancy)(

[*jooleeah*]

Dear createblog diary,
I wish I were older. I hate the people that are my age. I don't fit with them.

[*mzkandi*]

Dear createblog diary,
I wish I were older. I hate the people that are my age. I don't fit with them.

I know the feeling, I felt that way sometimes when i was younger.

Dear CB,

Man I cant wait til have my car. 7 days...the countdown begins until I am driving again.
In other news, I really am going to be seriously thinking about moving off campus next year, its just too expensive and actually less expensive (by almost 200 bucks) to stay off campus. Meh...staying on campus is convientent though. I just wake up and walk to class, so I dont know..

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

here i am yet again. still confused as ever...i keep on thinking its resolved but then it just gets all...confusing again. something tells me this is going to go on for awhile...sigh.
there's nothing much more i can really do, since things are still all so uncertain. i have certain feelings/hunches about things, but one can't be really sure unless one asks and one like myself is much too frightened to do so.
on the other hand, i'm leaving for whistler on thursday for this music festival thing and my voice is seriously gone...i can't talk. well i can but i sound ridiculous...i know for sure i can't sing. i tried...its not happening. looks like i'm gonna be lip-synching with everyone unless i'm miraculously better soon.
this is ridiculous.
i miss him.
and you know whats sad?
i'm not sure who that's directed to anymore.

[ichiban]

dear cb diary,

on friday there was this motivational speaker dude that came to our school. it was kind of a really cool assembly. the guy, scott greenberg or whatever, was a cancer surviver. he said all this stuff about deciding how to handle your problems. are you gonna sit there and be affected by it, or do something about it? it was really sad when scott said that since he was a jew, people would make fun of him all the time when he was little. HEY JEW BOY! and then he told us that his grandmother's parents were taken by the nazis one day, and she never saw them again. and one month later, they came for her. really, really sad. this scott guy has really gone through too much in his life, it's unbelievable. it didn't motivate me at all though, because most things he said were pretty obvious. but yeah.

lol, i want to like someone. honestly, i do. yeah i know, youll feel free and whatnot without a guy, but it's so boring without one i can't believe josh likes me though. it's realy .. wrong. and kind of sick. i don't wanna be shallow or anything, but yeah.

[xTINAA]

Dear cB Diary,
Again the past few days made me acknowledge change. I'm really not liking it right now. I don't want things to change. Yeah, I want to grow up therefore change but the more and more I think about it, I don't want to. I want things to stay the same. Why can't they stay the same? Why do people have to leave? Why do people have to change?... I don't even know why I'm asking why. I know why things have to change. I know why people have to change. I know this. But I don't want it to happen. I want to write more but I won't. Bye.
-Me.

[sharerol]

Dear cB diary,

I f**king hate Sundays. Just because they're Sundays. Nothing bad really happened today. The party yesterday was fun. Sin City was okay. I took some pictures today. Now I am bored. I don't wanna go back to school. =(((((((

--Cheryl

[lovescream]

Dear cB diary,

I f**king hate Sundays.  Just because they're Sundays.  Nothing bad really happened today.  The party yesterday was fun.  Sin City was okay.  I took some pictures today.  Now I am bored.  I don't wanna go back to school.  =(((((((

--Cheryl

Sin City?


Dear cb Diary,
damn. It's a sunday. Tomorrow will be living hell. First day of school. Man, I really dont want to go. My arm's still sore from the shot. I really dont wanna go!

-Toby.

[sharerol]

Sin City?
Dear cb Diary,
damn. It's a sunday. Tomorrow will be living hell. First day of school. Man, I really dont want to go. My arm's still sore from the shot. I really dont wanna go!

-Toby.

Yes. Sin City, the movie.
Hope you have fun at school, by the way.

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

i am in here way too often but i can't help it...i keep on thinking of things to say that i don't wanna say on my own xanga so yeah...i come here instead.
i just realized how oddly grateful i am for that incident on the bus ride home on friday...on the way home from the retreat i had that problem when i couldn't breathe...yeah it scared the shit out of me, but apparently it scared the shit out of a couple others, which in an odd way showed me how much they really cared...then he got to take care of me. he was the first to stand up and help me off the bus to get some fresh air. he held my hand and held me close and whispered that things would be alright. he helped me on to the other bus and kept a tight hold of me to make sure i'm okay. he let me sleep on his shoulder. he helped me carry my stuff afterwards and everything too once we arrived back at school. finally when i had to leave for home, he hugged me close and kissed me on the top of my head.
i've never felt so safe and loved.

[Chii]

dear createBlog diary,

wow, i might as well kill some time here...i'm so nervous about this mod stuff...i'm afraid that only the popular people will be chosen...heh no one has rooted for me, that comes as a small surprise...but then again not really that small

i wish that this girl will just open up her eyes...the one is right in front of her face but she doesn't want to see it. i've been through things like that with my boyfriend before we were going out, i didn't relaly notice unti like a month or two that johnny is the one for me... i just wish she would see him the way she's supposed to, such a sweet girl should have a sweet man to tend to her

hehe, it's like a dream of mine has finally come true, i get to lounge around and watch movies with my boyfriend all day at his place the first time i ever did that with anyone was on my birthday a few months ago, it was so great, we had an indoor picnic, just the two of us he remembered that i wanted to go on a picnic, but central park had all that stupid, nasty orange sh*t all over the place...it was supposed to be "art" ...i call it a huge waste of f*cking money, f*cking governor/mayor/whoever spending millions on a tourist trap rather than our schools

i really hope i'm not pregnant...i think my breasts may have become bigger, that made me so happy but then it hit me...it's a sign of pregnancy...maybe i'm just paranoid...i really hope i am paranoid. i'm supposed to be getting my period really soon...i hope i'm not pregnant...

geez, everytime i write in here the entry is so long...aiy. i wish there were more hours in a day...i never have time to myself anymore...i haven't cleaned my room in weeks, maybe a month...nor have i organized my jewelry like i vowed to...i have my earrings and necklaces everywhere...i am such a mess now

oh well...god i'm sweating more than i usually do because i'm so nervous about this createBlog moderator thing...i don't know why but i want the job so bad...

much love,
M.L. x3

[yukichan]

dear cB diary..
today was a ok day..much better than yesterday..
went to the beach clean up..it was ok...
still feel alone and isolated..everything i do isnt good enough for my parents..i cant do anything right...my mom kind of isnt that harsh but dad is really bad..he says i dont do anything..hes always criticizing me..gosh..
sigh..6 more weeks untill middle school is over...i dont know wheter to be happy about it or sad..im so confused...
sigh..
thats it for today..
...Nancy...

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog Diary,

This school day has been much too long. I hate this routine. I hate school. I don't know how, but it seems that I've just sort of drifted through today. I don't remember much, just that I want to be at home, or even better, with Justin. I can't stop thinking about him. Really though, I can't. When I'm talking to people, I have to try to not bring him up because I'm probably so obnoxious about it. But I can't help it. He's so perfect. So perfect, it's almost unbelievable. I love that boy much. :D

-Me.

[Rachel]

dear createBlog diary,
i really hope i'm not pregnant...i think my breasts may have become bigger, that made me so happy but then it hit me...it's a sign of pregnancy...maybe i'm just paranoid...i really hope i am paranoid.  i'm supposed to be getting my period really soon...i hope i'm not pregnant...
M.L. x3

Why don't you get a pregnancy test?

Anyways, Dear cB Diary
I finally quit The Willows! YAY <3. I will miss a lot of people who work there tho; Jay, Diogo, Regan, Kelley, Christie...

I miss Tom. I wish he wasn't grounded. He makes me a better person, he is the sweet to my mean. I wish we were older and that we could get married. I just feel like he completes me. Meh, I guess thats what young love is.

I want it to be summer soo bad. I really want to go back to Arizona and see all my friends. I have been missing them like crazy. I feel like I have lost touch with a lot of them. I am suprised with some that I have talked to recently.

I realize how much I have changed in just 6 months. I have done a lot of things I didn't think I would. And I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad one.

[inthemudhole]

Hi.
Nothing can f*cking touch me.
I'm so happy.
Last night f*cking owned.

Oh, and it's official.

I have a boyfriend.
What a lovely guy he is....He called me (literally) the second I got home.
<3333333

What a f*cking awesome weekend.

Complete review on Xanga.

[LadyXTor]

Dear Cb Diary,
Ello diary...today was scary. :) Some freaky short kid is stalking me and cussing me off! OH THE JOY!

Let's see, I fell on my face, OH THE JOY! Okay, today was half fun I'VE GOTTA ADMIT!

My friends crying over the same guy AGAIN! They have issues but don't work it out...bleh...teenage freakin drama.

[Chii]

Why don't you get a pregnancy test?

if i had the 10 bucks to spare i would...


dear createBlog diary,

i don't know where my life has gone...it's like all of a sudden i just realized that the only person i really talk to is my boyfriend, my best friend barely gives half a sh*t about what i have to say. i hate the world today...i don't know who i am anymore...i used to be that sweet, shy innocent girl. now i'm just a b*tch... everything seems to annoy me, it's like my life has derailed except for a few train cars that are still intact.

i used to be such a good girl, i used to care about school. i've already read about things about life in the real world and it has opened my eyes but for some reason it isn't hitting me. i know that when we turn 18 our money plan will probably fall through. plus minimum wage will not cut it with the skyrocking price of rent and food when we're 18. but i don't know why i just don't care... i wish i didn't change and realize what a hole i'm in, and didn't realize what really happened between me and ________ when i was a litle girl that messed me up for life...

i hate feeling sorry for myself, there are other people in the world that i know have it a lot harder than i do...my life cannot even compare to how hard it is in thrid world african countires...getting raped everyday, prostituting for cab fare fpr a trip to college, getting mutilated, god...the world is such a sh*tty place...

i know i can do something about it but i just don't, that's the cause i want to stand up for, those people who don't deserve a sh*t life, they didn't make any mistakes, they don't deserve to live in fear everyday...maybe that will drive me to try to do better in life...they can't climb out of their holes but i can...

i've wanted to grow up so bad when i was little, but now it's just like a curse, like when snow white ate that beautiful, shiny apple the witch gave her...after you take a bite out of it, you realize it was nothing you thought it was...

i love spending time with johnny, he seems to be the only one who can truly make me happy again whenever i'm bogged down in so much sh*t...i can never thank god enough for bringing johnny to me.

much love,
M.L. x3

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

today has been a happy, happy day. i like this feeling. i missed it quite a bit.
school was bareable, mostly. the math test was surprisingly easy, so i think i did really well. got home late due to a long choir/choreography practice, and i came onto cb as soon as i got to the computer...i was rather pleasantly surprised to see i'd been made a part of people staff. it was kinda weird how happy it made me...i was literally jumping up and down for awhile. it was nice/amusing all at once.
then tonight at dance, i found out our results for our competitions that were on thursday. my tap got 1st place, and then my hiphop did too, but that also got the 2nd highest overall in our section and we received a trophy and some money too. yay! our hard work actually paid off a bit.
my voice is coming back...i can pretty much talk and kinda sing, so i think i'll be okay in time for whistler...but aw, i have to leave cb so soon after getting my new position. ah well. it'll be a fun trip, but i'll miss some people...