paying for your boyfriend..., y is that such a bad thing? |
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 Apr 18 2005, 08:01 PM
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#1
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gRaCiE  Group: Member Posts: 350 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 96,997  |
well ok here's the thing...my boyfriend's mom lives with his stepdad who hates him n so he lives with his sister but his mom still give him money wen she could. he doesnt have a job so his sister n her boyfriend are paying all the bills n he uses the money he gets from his mom to get food. all he's doing rite now is going to school. no job cuz its hard getting a job n going to school at the same time but he's looking for one. well i've been helping my boyfriend with his cell phone bill n getting food. i paid for his phone bill cuz i want to have a way to reach him. he doesnt have a home phone at his sister's place n he cant eat his sister's food unless she says it's ok n his mom doesnt always give him money for food every time he needs it but she does give him money but the times he doesnt have money to have food i wanna buy him some groceries for him n buy him food. is that really such a bad thing? i mean...is my boyfriend being a bad boyfriend if that's the case? i dont want him getting hungry...i dont see wats wrong with helping out a hungry person...especially if its someone u love. my friends chastise me all the time for givng into my boyfriend so much but i do it cuz i love him n i know he loves me n i wanna do all these things for him. y do my friends get so mad about it? sorry that this is so long...
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Apr 18 2005, 08:07 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 4,882 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,064 |
I'd like to know their reasoning for being upset with your boyfriend in an unfortunate position for not paying for your meals. It's not a bad thing at all. He's in a tough situation, and you're volunteering to pay, I assume. So there isn't a reason that I can observe why people look at it negatively.
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Apr 18 2005, 08:18 PM
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#3
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 dakishimetainoni... Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,322 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 75,318 |
maybe your friends are getting mad because it seems like he's using you...
 you should probably clue them in on the real story about how hard things are for him right now...i bring my boyfriend food but it's kind of different, his parents don't make him dinner or don't give him money sometimes because they don't feel like it sometimes 
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Apr 18 2005, 08:25 PM
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#4
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 *scribble scribble* Group: Member Posts: 1,314 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 119,610 |
your friends think hes using you. it really does seem like he is, but tell your friends about why you're paying for him. it might make your friends happy if you tell them that youre sure that when hes more financially stable, he'll start paying for your meals.
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Apr 18 2005, 08:25 PM
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#5
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gRaCiE Group: Member Posts: 350 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 96,997 |
nah...they know his situation. they just think if anything HE should be paying for ME n that he should get a job. but rite now im not even going to school n just working so i dont see wats wrong with helping him out. they think he should get a job n pay for his own shit...i understand but...they just dont understand how much i wanna do for him...n he's not using me. i mean he asks me to buy him food but i ask him to buy me food to. even wen i was broke n didnt have a job he paid for everything. i offer to get him things mostly. he usually doesnt ask. n plus my friend know he's not using me cuz some of them i met through my boyfriend n we been together over three years. they know about alot of things we been through...they dont think its that. they think its just wrong that i pay for him.
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Apr 18 2005, 08:29 PM
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#6
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 durian Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 13,124 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,860 |
YOur friends are SOOOO stereotypical! They probably think guys should pay for everything. Even if they know the situation, they don't TRULY comprehend it enough to not be judgemental. Catch my drift? YOu're just trying to help your boyfriend out. I'm sure that if it was the other way around, your boyfriend would be helping YOU out. You friends really don't know the entire story, even if they say they do.
They're being stereotypical, thinking guys should handle everything, that guys have money. That's not always the case, in my book. Your friends really need a reality check. I think it's sweet because it shows that you care a lot about your boyfriend and that he'll be healthy and have food to eat. :]  You're a caring girlfriend.
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| *mzkandi* |
Apr 18 2005, 08:30 PM
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#7
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Guest |
I are doing nothing wrong. I see nothing wrong with you helping out your boyfriend financial, I would only diagree with this if he was using you but this does not seem to be the case. Its hard going to school and having a job, I know this because its something I have to deal with, but still encourage and help him find a job. Until then I think its prefectly fine for you to support him anyway you can
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Apr 18 2005, 08:33 PM
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#8
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 RAWR. Group: Member Posts: 2,585 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,641 |
well because I was in a relatioship like that and I was being used. a ll my friends saw it and I didnt. I just gave him rides cuz I liked to spend time with him...and he never had money so I gave him my lunch money. and he took advantage of it. thats why they are upset. you dont want to do too much for a person. They grow to expect it.
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Apr 18 2005, 09:31 PM
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#9
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 Ah, mon Dieu ! Group: Member Posts: 2,274 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,587 |
i think what you're doing for him is very sweet...
but the situation might come to a point where he starts taking advantage of you. so be careful... best of luck to you both
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Apr 18 2005, 09:36 PM
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#10
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 Hah! Its funny cause its true... Group: Member Posts: 640 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 89,954 |
Wow you are a wonderful girlfriend to do that for him. They are probably just jealous cause you're a better girlfriend then they are!! They are probably just stereotypical and don't think it's right.
Again, you're so sweet to do that for your boyfriend =3. |
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Apr 18 2005, 10:31 PM
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#11
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dakishimetainoni... Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,322 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 75,318 |
you shouldn't stop going to school just to support him...maybe that's why your friends are upset about this. if money is tight he really should be getting a job. your friends mean well, they probably just don't want you to risk you're education.
my heart is terribly soft too, it doesn't matter what other people say, go ahead and continue helping him out...you could help him go job hunting, maybe you two can work together were you work. |
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Apr 18 2005, 10:36 PM
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#12
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 Hi! I'm Dani :) Group: Member Posts: 5,637 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,369 |
when they chastise you then ignore them. I think what you're doing is very nice and caring. I really don't find anything wrong with it
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Apr 19 2005, 08:09 AM
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#13
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 *~*Yo IcY FrEsH AzN!!*~* Group: Member Posts: 167 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 127,747 |
well u love him ..he loves u...its all good....im sure if u were in dat position he would help u too....
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Apr 19 2005, 08:23 AM
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#14
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 weird Sarah. yes,me... Group: Member Posts: 714 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,023 |
QUOTE(cHuNsAbAbIe012 @ Apr 19 2005, 10:25 AM) nah...they know his situation. they just think if anything HE should be paying for ME n that he should get a job. but rite now im not even going to school n just working so i dont see wats wrong with helping him out. they think he should get a job n pay for his own shit...i understand but...they just dont understand how much i wanna do for him...n he's not using me. i mean he asks me to buy him food but i ask him to buy me food to. even wen i was broke n didnt have a job he paid for everything. i offer to get him things mostly. he usually doesnt ask. n plus my friend know he's not using me cuz some of them i met through my boyfriend n we been together over three years. they know about alot of things we been through...they dont think its that. they think its just wrong that i pay for him.  ><" who set the rule that BOY should pay all the things for GIRL! i dun think your bf's using u, and u fds r so........ they know his situation and his personality, y keep saying this? |
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Apr 19 2005, 09:44 AM
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#15
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gRaCiE Group: Member Posts: 350 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 96,997 |
lol! i didnt stop going to school to support him. i just took a year off school. i wanna start again this fall. i got a job cuz i might as well as long as im not doing n e thing else. but he is looking for a job.
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Apr 19 2005, 05:04 PM
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#16
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 ...and this is me.. Group: Member Posts: 3,518 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,899 |
Your friends probably doesn't like you paying for him because they feel that he's taking advantage of you...friends just look out for you...but sometimes....it could be because they don't know the whole story. Tell them the WHOLE situation.
 By the way, I think it's really nice of you to help out your boyfriend in his situation..
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Apr 19 2005, 05:30 PM
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#17
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Member Group: Member Posts: 22 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 126,662 |
take advice from a guy
(im not gay) paying for ur bf iz just a sign either to get free food or hes too cheap wellz if u need anymore advice just talk to me if u hav AIM my sn iz TrojanManJBT or JsWuz and if u dont hav aim den just write sumtin on I Need Advice (confused) k latur dont listen to me im high   
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Apr 19 2005, 05:31 PM
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#18
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 insanitys contagious. Group: Official Member Posts: 4,210 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 99,707 |
You really are a loving gf , your friends bother you probaly because they dont fully understand the situation.
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Apr 19 2005, 05:34 PM
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#19
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Member Group: Member Posts: 22 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 126,662 |
QUOTE(JsWuz @ Apr 19 2005, 6:30 PM) take advice from a guy (im not gay) paying for ur bf iz just a sign either to get free food or hes too cheap wellz if u need anymore advice just talk to me if u hav AIM my sn iz TrojanManJBT or JsWuz and if u dont hav aim den just write sumtin on I Need Advice (confused) k latur srryz i meant to say gettin a free phone bill dont listen to me |
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Apr 19 2005, 05:35 PM
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#20
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Member Group: Member Posts: 22 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 126,662 |
QUOTE(JsWuz @ Apr 19 2005, 6:30 PM) take advice from a guy (im not gay) paying for ur bf iz just a sign either to get free food or hes too cheap wellz if u need anymore advice just talk to me if u hav AIM my sn iz TrojanManJBT or JsWuz and if u dont hav aim den just write sumtin on I Need Advice (confused) k latur srryz i meant to say gettin a free phone bill dont listen to me |
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Apr 19 2005, 06:21 PM
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#21
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 69 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 121,896 |
I don't think it's a bad thing to help out someone you love your friends are like sooo wrong
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