God, life can be a pain, Bad things happen Options

[*paul murphy*]

You're right. They only have those mild diseases. You know, like AIDS/HIV, Ebola(sp), Lassa Fever, The Plague, etc. Yep. The best part is that they have way better health care than you'll ever have. So you're pretty much right.  You do have it worse than they do.

- Solipsist

OK, it was a joke.

[racoons > you]

I've had a lot go wrong in my life.
I'm terrible with dealing with things.

A lot of people have died in my life.
All of my grandparents (except for one grandfather) had died before I was born. It may not sound like much, but it ended up being bad. All of my friends would always sit there and brag about how much fun they would have at a grandmother's house and how their grandmothers would bake cookies with them and how they'd go fishing with their grandfathers, and I had never been able to experience any of that. I only had one grandfather and his health was never stable. He had suffered from at least three heart-attacks in my time of knowing him. He also battled cancer during my time, so he was never stable enough in health to even talk to him sometimes. Then one day in second grade, we got a phone call from my uncle telling us that my grandfather was in the hospital and was already brain-dead. We got there to visit him before we had to say goodbye forever. I was the only one in the room when he completely died and that experience will haunt me forever. Even typing this now, I'm getting chills up and down my spine. I was eight years old when my last grandparent died. I was "lucky" enough to witness it as well.
Then a few months later, my dog died.
Once again, that doesn't seem like much, but it really was. At that point, I was an extreme loner. I had one friend and in that grade, we weren't very close. So, naturally, my dog was basically my best friend. Then she died. At least it wasn't a brutal death, but I witnessed two deaths of people I cared very deeply for within a few months at a semi-young age. It hit me like a load of bricks. I understood death, but it just hit me hard.

Then as I got older, I got made fun of a lot at school for, I guess looking back on it, for being different. I liked metal at a young age and I was always just very different than everyone else. I got made fun of daily. I still do to this day, but it was very bad in elementary school.

Then in sixth grade, one of my close friends passed away. She had a lot of heart problems and suffered a long time. She passed away when I was twelve. She was fourteen. It was a bad, bad experience for me. It hurt so much to see her at the wake and at the funeral in the open coffin. I cried for months. It was bad in which the way I figured it out. Someone came and told me in orchestra in sixth grade right after she passed. My parents wouldn't let me come home either.

Then after that, a few cousins and uncles passed away. Those weren't as tragic towards me as the other ones though.

Those are just a few events. There are also a lot of on-going things in my life that bring me down.

I already mentioned it, but the fact of being made fun of everyday or so. I know I shouldn't let their words get to me and such, but I get made fun of everyday by people I absolutely hate. They get away with that shit all of the time and if I step up to the plate and try to defend myself, I get in trouble. I get into trouble all of the time. Even if I don't do something, I have to take the blame, and it seems like even if I try and defend myself, I get into MORE trouble. I can't stand it. I get made fun of for things I can't even control. My mental issues, my height, my family, etc. I'm sorry, but I can't control any of that, so it really gets to me.

My parents really bug me. I know, I know. Every teenage girl says that, but my parents don't really seem to care. They are SO strict. I'm not allowed out after 8:00 P.M. and I have to get offline at 8:30 P.M. Common concerns, right? Well...I guess....But they don't allow me to do ANYTHING. If I'm in a bad mood and I show it, they yell at me for taking it out on them, in which usually I am not. If I'm sad, they basically give me a "suck-it-up" kind of look and tell me to get over it. They rarely want to talk to me about things. When they do and I talk to them about my problems, they barely even listen. My parents are nice and all, but they don't really care. They just want me to bring home good grades and they want me to be well-behaved. We don't talk at all. They just expect me to be perfect.

I've never had many friends, and that's fine, but now even my best friends are causing a lot of issues between us. They both have boyfriends and they absolutely LOVE to rub that little fact in my face, seeing that I don't currently have a boyfriend. I don't care that they have boyfriends. That's great for them, sure, I'm happy for them, but do they have to rub it in my face that they have boyfriends and I don't? I don't care if they're being subtle about it. That's the impression that I get. They always talk about their boyfriends around me, even when I try and change the subject. I've tried to talk to them about this before, but they don't give a shit about my problems and they always bring the subject back to themselves or to their boyfriends. I had a serious talk with one of them on the subject and she just threw it back at me, telling me that this is how she felt when I was dating a guy named Alec. Well, excuse me, but I didn't make out with him in frong out of school. Meh.
nt of you. They show their affection publically, right in my face. I'll be talking with one of them, and they'll just start making out. Right there on the spot. In mid-sentence. Then my other friends never want to do anythi

No, boyfriends aren't all that I care about, but I still can't get over my ex. We had a weird break-up and we have a weird relationship now. He got a new girlfriend promptly after we broke up. He likes to talk about the "old times," but he never wants to re-live them or do anything as friends. It just gets to me. I'm really sensitive.

I have a few mental issues as well. I have chronic depression along with other things. I'm an insomniac, and it hurts me terribly grades-wise. And that, in return, makes my relationship with my parents worse. I cut a lot, and I am suicidal most of the time. I realize that last bit is brought on by myself and myself only, but some of it is caused by the mental disorders I have. The few people that know about my issues judge me by them. They don't get to know me because of my mental issues. They're almost afraid of me or something, I think.

Anyway, I've complained enough and I don't think anyone cares to read anymore about my childhood. I have more to say, but I'm tired of typing.

damn, brie.

*hugs*

if you ever wanna tlak about anything, aim me sammimademedoit. i'll listen, even if i cant exactly do anything about it, which may help.

[*paul murphy*]

damn, brie. 

*hugs*

if you ever wanna tlak about anything, aim me sammimademedoit. i'll listen, even if i cant exactly do anything about it, which may help.

same from me

[inthemudhole]

Thanks, you two. *hugs back* I appreciate your kind words.

[SKDMNLE]

=| my lifes been okay i guess...besides the fact that i moved from boston to LA

[Rachel]

Well said... but still I bet LOADS of them still dont hav cystic fibrosis

Thats right, they just have to live with AIDS.
I don't really care if you were making a "joke"

Ohh and Brie, same goes for me! Anytime honey, anytime!

[inthemudhole]

Thank you very much, Rachel. <3

[juliar]

the best way i deal with things like this is trying to get on with life, doing other thiings and getting the most out of life while you can. there's no point in sitting around and being sad. so have fun.

edit: brie, i just read your post. man, i never knew your life was like that... if i had to live like that, i'd be dead right now, or suffering from crazy depression. i'm here too ;x

=[ i don't like this thread. too sad.

[lil_shadow]

aww that really sucks. i hope you feel better.(if you don't believe in God, then pretend what i wrote isn't there)

God will always be there for you during these tough times. He knows you're going through these problems and he loves you and will always be listening. These things that cause you hurt and pain will strengthen your love for Him. Keep being faithful and loyal to him.

really hope that these situations get better. sorry i dont have a miserable life to tell of lol cuz i guess my life is pretty good so i don't know shit about what im talking about. but still. cheer up. (i just realized i sound all corny now oops.)

[fameONE]

I'm a bit apprehensive to sharing any personal shortcoming in this thread because there is always someone who has it ten times worse. My life has been pretty hard these past few years and right now, I'm only in the eye of the hurricane. Still, I hold my head up high and lend a hand to others who are in pain. You'd be amazed how much joy can enter your life, even with all of your personal issues, when you show love (that you want for yourself) to others who need it.

[*stephinika*]

^^
nice post brandon i agree.
i'm so tempted to type up a long ass post but i don't have the time, so i'll keep this short...for now.
my life has been relatively good in the eyes of most. i live relatively comfortabley but i've been so much emotional stress lately caused by friends, family, school, etc. there are so many important decisions needing to be made and i'm so unsure of myself right now.
like i said, its late and i have to wake up early tomorrow...i'll actually put a story and more later.

[azn hunni xox]

Never really been happy with myself, when I was 10 started to see floaters, and all these other little stupid idiotic depressing pinpoints, that freaked me out. Have some kinda hearing thing, where I hear like a long beeping sound. Parents relationship scares me sometimes... my dad has diabetes, my brother's kinda overweight... my mom had this sickness where she was depressed, and thought people were "watching" her, but it's gone now.