a touch., written in class once again. |
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| *stephinika* |
 Mar 6 2005, 05:51 PM
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#1
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nothing special...written again in class, right after 'i don't know' actually...meh. constructive criticism is appreciated, thanks.
A touch. Eyes burning deep Fiery intensity nowhere else but within their vision For nothing more can be shown But subtly each manages to be fulfilled By the slightest instances For each takes and indulges all that one can His featherlike touch on the small of her back Breaks the emptiness between the two’s physical Though their souls have come together Long previous to that In such a way Hidden from prying curiosities The smallest smirk creeps upon his features As she gleams of a secret happiness A single step is taken And she now sees him face to face Gently, his fingers travel her arm His hand cups her face, so carefully He takes just one more step Noses so close, almost brushing A bittersweet smile reaches her lips As he pulls her close They clasp together tightly Trying to ignore the feeling of how they fit together Ever so perfectly And as they pull away, Each immediately feels the loss And her eyes reveal the once more present emptiness Every time she leaves his presence Walking away, he peers over his shoulder Ever so longingly Their feelings remaining hidden away Deep within the chambers of their hearts. |
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Mar 6 2005, 07:34 PM
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 Senior Member  Group: Official Member Posts: 4,882 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,064 |
dang steph, your writings are great! I love the way you use your words
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Mar 6 2005, 09:53 PM
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 109 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,204 |
Ewwww, they touched each other, COOTIES!!! haha yea good job tho, quite the discriptive piece, although I can't relate to something like that... aha post more and more and more here
 i wanna keep reading 
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Mar 7 2005, 04:41 PM
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#4
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 fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
Magnificent.
I'll add more later, the bells just rang. |
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Mar 21 2005, 12:15 AM
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#5
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 266 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,889 |
thats great...so emo i can feel the wrath of the letters :P
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Mar 21 2005, 12:53 AM
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#6
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Oh my God, that is wonderful!
Great job, Steph! The beginning is my favorite. Keep it up. :DD |
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| *islandgirl4eva* |
Mar 21 2005, 07:02 AM
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#7
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Awww, Steph! Absolutely, positively fabulous! There's no favorite part, I love it all!
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Mar 21 2005, 07:13 PM
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 I'll never be who I was again.. Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
wow..that was good...good job..
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| *salcha* |
Mar 22 2005, 03:02 AM
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very deep,
i like your style of writing, nice job! |
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Mar 23 2005, 07:49 PM
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#10
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 deleted Group: Member Posts: 3,168 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 92,276 |
*claps hands* nice poem steph!
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