help me figure this out?, me + this girl = ? Options

[sadolakced acid]

ok. so. let's go with some background.

i'm asian. she's asian. we have mostly the same friends.
yada yada, all that good crap about parents and gradeas and stuff usually associated with asian nerdiness.

so we start 9th grade. from the first day of school i think, dang she's hot, i should talk to her.

bleh bleh. i talk to her on AIM and between classes.
bleh bleh bleh. so i start liking her, right? ( in about a month) and then her friends would be like, are you ___? ___(her) talks about you all the time.

yea, so i figure she likes me.

so i deliberate whether to ask her out and all, and in the end not asking her out comes up as my choice, because our parents wouldn't let us go on any dates anyways, and 'going out' without actually going out anywhere is... kinda stupid.

ok, so i tell her this on AIM that day, except stupid me didnt' word it right and she thinks i was asking her out.

anyways: so she says yes and we do the whole hold hands/ walk to class thing in school.

which of course makes me like her more.

goes on for a month, she gets report card, and then breaks up with me. (dumps me, whatever you want to call it.)

(yes this is still background. )

her reason? her grades aren't good enough and i'm distracting her. bleh. stupid nerdy reason for you.

anyways; i got mad at that because she told all my friends she was going to break up with me before i knew. In fact, the way i found out was one of my friends told me "i'm sorry" BEFORE she(the girl) broke up with me.

(still background..)

yea so, i'm distraught, i still like her, she still wants to be friends.

(notice that about 2 months has gone by)

ok. so i'm angry at her so she kinda avoids me for a while.
bleh bleh bleh i'm not over her.

FF (fast forward) to end of school year.

yea i've gotten over her some, and then liked her a bit, etc.

this year ( sophomore) i finally go over her, and the realized what a bad friend she was, and told her i don't want to be friends anymore.

yada yada (still background) she gets mad at me, bleh bleh gets all our shared friends mad at me so i have to be friends with her again.

i have to admit i did want to be friends with her a bit, because i still kinda liked her. you know, where you still think someone's hot but you know they're terrible... no? oh well...

ok so then in about a month or so i tri y again, except this time i have a plan. since if i try to not be friends with her, all our shared friends will be like, GRR to me, i decide i'll make her mad at me and so then our shared friends can't say it's my faults... ok. so that doesn't work either, as they know it's me behind it.

(yes, that was background. quite long. i know. it's complicated?)

alright so:

now i sorta like her; but i wouldn't really care if she never talked to me again. however, if i try to never talk to her again, bad things will happen.

what the heck do i do?

[xXirockhardXx]

Just act like you like her again (as a friend) Try not to talk to her as much since you dont like he because she pistses you off. That way your freinds wond get mad at you. Hope i helped (though i doubt)

[SimplicityGirl]

So let me get the story straight:

You and this girl are Asian, you like her, figures she likes you, but didn't want to start a relationship with her. But she took it as you want to start a relationship with her and said yes. After report card came out, she broke up with you because her grades slipped and she blamed it on you being a distraction to her. Then you guys were friends, but then you realized what a bad friend she was and decided to not be her friends. However, since you guys share many friends, you were forced to be her friend. And this time around, you decided to make her mad so that all of your shared friends would not be mad at you for not being her friend.

And you don't like her in that way anymore; you don't care if she never talks to you again. But on the other hand...if you try to never talk to her again, bad things will happen, which, I'm assuming, would be all your shared friends being mad at you.

If I were you, I would have a talk with the girl, and tell her exactly how you feel about this on and off friendship between you two. Also, I would do it with the shared friends present; tell them that you consider them good friends, but that you don't want them to side with either one of you because it's really putting on a strain on your friendship with them. I would try being neutral towards the girl; just treat her as you would any other classmates; it can be hard at times because she WAS your gf, and from what you're telling us, it sounds like you're still attracted to her, but just try to be neutral about it. Maybe you should let her take the first steps and see what goes from there.

Good luck!

[sadolakced acid]

yea that's kinda what i'm doing right now... ~edit (to irockhard's advice)

and it sucks because it means i'm starting to like her again.
stupid hormones.




that's her.

sucks, doesn't it?

[xXirockhardXx]

Lol stupid hormones! N.e ways listen too SimplicityGirl. Her advice is better than mine.

[topsyturvy]

Oooh I can see why you like her. She's soOo preettyy. *jealous*

I think you should just forget about her. I mean, treat her like a friend and all, but forget the bf/gf stuff. I mean, if you guys are "re-couple-ized", she might dump you again, this time with some other lame excuse.

I dunno, I just don't think you deserve to get hurt twice.

[FireArrow]

Just talk to her (as a friend)

[Shattered_Hope]

just try to be friends with her again.....but don't think anything more than that...or...just find new friends..?
but if you're bent on being friends with her again...talk to her...and tell her you want to be friends.

[secretXoshadow]

well um if i were you i would try to talk to her ... talk to her at lunch or after a class. but um like i think your shared friends shouldn't be siding with her ... that is kind of rude because they are both of your friends. They really aren't acting like your true friends like you think they are. So if i were you I would talk to them also and tell them to stop choosing sides, because it is confusing the heck out of you , and making you mad. I hope i helped ...


<33
tOrii3

[tainted_faerie]

:-X that was a lot of background lol. I'd say try to talk to her as friends, and then tell her your MADDLY IN LOVE WITH HER lol jp... gain her friendship back that's what i have to say.

[sadolakced acid]

ok. let me clarify a bit...

1. i don't really like her that much. an example of how much i like her: if it was between me watchign lilo and stitch alone or me watching "the notebook" with her sitting right next to me and her letting me hit on her, well i'd pick lilo and stitch. because i love lilo and stitch.

2. i don't really want to be her friend that much. I mean, sometimes she's nice and a good friend but mostly she's not.

3. i know for a fact she does not like me.

simplicity girl got it right, but i'm not sure she would have a resonable discussion.

[WrathOfOnigo]

Make it so she breaks off the friendship if you don't want to look bad. Make her really angry at you so she becomes the bad guy . If you realy don't like her that much then don't waste your time with her. Don't bother talking to her about it cause I have a feeling it wouldn't go to well because she seems evil.

[SimplicityGirl]

Well if she won't have a reasonable discussion with you, maybe she's not worth your time. And also...I don't think if you have ever considered this, but maybe she's acting this way to get attention from your shared firends, and to make you jealous.

[avalon*]

That was really long..haha. You lost me after the part where she got her report card. If she's not a good friend most of the time, then I think you should find someone who will be good to you.

[xXMomoBubbleTeaX...]

The majority of my friends are asian and grades are important...it's not something that they like to be good at...it's something they have to be good at...you should know your asian...and her parents would prolly yell at her cuz of her grades..and I kno asian parents...they go down realli hard on their kids...I should kno..my friend gets lecture from her parents all the time...soOo don't be mad at her...juss understand...being mad is juss w waste of time

[JoeSocks]

tell her a SUMMARY of wat u basically told us. Tell her wat u feel. If u can tell complete strangers this, y not her? :satisfied:

[alsex]

listen i'm not saying you gotta act shady towards her but if you dont really wanna hang with her at least be able to respect her by acknowledgin her prescence and what not... discreetly try to avoid her... if she shows up at the same thing that you are at go to an area where you won't be next to her... if she tries to make plans with you be busy... if she wants to make small talk answer in yes or no form... one word answers if yes or no wont help...
2 try finding new girls to hang with...
she aint all that, but shes cute... go to other places wit yer boyz and pick up some girlies elsewhere...
3 if shes really a bad friend the guys will know, the ones that wanna hook up with her wont mind that shes a bad friend... the ones that dont will side with you... the girls on the other hand are young and dumb... they will be on her side and just stab her in the back. when a guy gets between them, then itll change things so if you really wanna change things date her friend... but you'll be known as that guy so just pick up girlies at other places clubs, malls, comic book conventions what ever you kids do now a days

[Rachel]

well i think simplicity girl covered everything!

you might want to talk to her without all of your friends there first though, because she might take it offensively and become all super bitch or something.

[lilnatcat]

Erm..........that photo...............it looks like a Hong Kong celebrity........although I can't remember that girl's name............hrmmm

Anyways, talk to her about it and ask her. She might be hiding something from you which is the reason why she was a bad friend/gf in the first place..........

And yes.......having asian parents is like sometimes torture coz of the pressure!! >.<

[lilshelil]

Theres a problem with this grl. breaking up for grades? i mean i admit im that asian nerdy girl im a sophmore in hs i have 90s in every class i have a boyfriend of 2 years. but the only reason i get 90s is cuz i actually work towards it so i can keep my boyfriend. maybe shes not that into you. i mean wat the heck she get mad at u/ignore you when she broke up w. u?

Right now, if you dont mind talking ot her then talk to her jus to keep ur shared friends. While u guys are talking try to move on cuz u noe that she is a b*tch. but then if u find that u have strong feelings for her then get w. her.