time doesnt heal, im still not over him Options

[nlgrl]

so its been a little over 2 months since me n my ex broke up, and about a month since he decided to stop talking to me altogether. trust me i WANT to get over him and ive TRIED to get over him... but its still no use. ive tried doing things to get my mind off him but... no use. it seems like when time passes by it gets wrose every day and n ot helping at all... and time passes by sooo slowly that... i get the recconize all the feelings that im haveing... im not putting myself down... you think i WANT to feel this way? i dont but... i dont know... nowadays i find myself just moping around and such
hows he doing?
not better than me... from what i can see, he's depressed. how do i kno? cause the last time he took drugs was when he was depressed (long before we met) and hes taking drugs now and im worried about him... id help him but... i dont know exactly if I AM apart of the problem. he's even dreaming about suicide... i really dont know if he's like this cause of me or whatever
im my opinion i really think we should get back together cause its obvious our lives are miserable witout each other... and i keep thinking he broke up with me for the same reason... he wants me to be happy with someone elce.... cause we're not TOTAL oppisites but... not exactly alike on the social scale... he told me to find someone better than him cause he thinks HE isnt good enough... i have a strong feeling he want to be with me but he's forcing himself to stay away... (i dont have a bad past so i dont kno y...) he even said on his xanga "but it still seems like im lieing to myself while putting on a show for everyone elce"

i COULD talk to him... but i dont kno if he'd want to cause he told me to leave him alone... im scared to... ive never felt so low about myself