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dispn0ygonekrazy
post Mar 16 2005, 10:00 AM
Post #1


*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer*
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dayuuuum havent post in here in hella damn long lol anyways heres a poem

i sit here alone endruing so much pain
all the words you've thrown at me i just cant explain
ive made mistakes ive told my share of lies
every move and word i said just makes you cry
forever never lasted, vanished right before me
flew farther away as it came towards the sea
i live everyday to see a smile on your face
the one that lightens my day where everything seems misplaced
i want to hold in my arms and kiss your lips goodnight
i wanna be the one telling you everythings alright
all i have is nothing but pain in my heart
ever since that day you left and torn me apart
wishing on the stars way up in the sky
i wish to love untill the day i die
 
*stephinika*
post Mar 16 2005, 02:53 PM
Post #2





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not bad, some spelling errors but otherwise it flows quite well. keep it up!
 
Teesa
post Mar 17 2005, 01:02 AM
Post #3


crushed.
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how lovely..and romantic.
 
dispn0ygonekrazy
post Mar 17 2005, 12:39 PM
Post #4


*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer*
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Member No: 51,134



thnx =]
 
ibleedforvanilla
post Mar 17 2005, 01:46 PM
Post #5


Lemme c ya 1, 2, Step! ;]
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woa. that poem kinda relates to my life. Nice job! :]
 
*islandgirl4eva*
post Mar 17 2005, 03:57 PM
Post #6





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I agree with Steph in regards to spelling and grammar, but I feel an apologetic vibe coming from this poem, and maybe even a tinge of regret. I really like it. You sound so sincere. Good job.
 

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