aother title-less poem, i never give mine titles, i dont like it |
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 Mar 3 2005, 12:51 PM
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#1
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 Another ditch in the road... you keep moving  Group: Member Posts: 6,281 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,152  |
the queen of hearts she baked som tarts
you threw them back in her face the knave of hearts he stole those tarts you helped him on his way peter gave you pixie dust you took it up your nose tinkerbell danced round your head you tore of her wings santa climbed down the chimney you lit a fire in the hearth rudolph waited on the roof you stuck his antlers on the wall i tired to love you you tore me down i made you laugh you made me weep everyone would die for you you would watch and laugh and now its done |
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Mar 3 2005, 03:26 PM
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#2
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 fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
I do like the beginning... the end seems hurried, but forgive me if I am wrong.
In general, I love it. Along with most of your work, it leaves me craving for more. |
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Mar 3 2005, 08:28 PM
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#3
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 Seien Sie bitte mein Geliebter! Group: Member Posts: 660 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 43,436 |
I think someone's a little angry... but its good stuff so all is well.
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| *stephinika* |
Mar 3 2005, 08:38 PM
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#4
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Guest |
i love the creative flow that just comes from all your work...lovely.
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Mar 4 2005, 12:30 AM
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#5
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 109 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,204 |
Liked how you lead into the different characters. Quite the imaginative bit I must say
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Mar 4 2005, 02:14 AM
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#6
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 I'll never be who I was again.. Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
wow...i didnt get it at the beginning..lol..i like it...
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Mar 7 2005, 03:59 PM
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#7
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Another ditch in the road... you keep moving Group: Member Posts: 6,281 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,152 |
QUOTE do like the beginning... the end seems hurried, but forgive me if I am wrong. yeah it was, it was a late english assignment |
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Mar 7 2005, 04:14 PM
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#8
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fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
Yes? Well hurried ending or not, it's still fantastico¹
¹) Is "fanstastico" even a word?!? 
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Mar 8 2005, 04:08 AM
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#9
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 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
hey i had no idea you could write! lol, but i haven't been in the writing section for a while. That was really good! I loved how the poem just flowed, but at the same time was blunt and to the point. You've got talent, i especially liked this part...
"i tried to love you you tore me down i made you laugh you made me weep" Great job 
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