GuiLt..., i feel so bad for my exes... |
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 Mar 4 2005, 02:53 AM
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#1
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Member  Group: Member Posts: 17 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 74,718  |
iunno why, every time i dump a guy, i feel so guilty. -__________-X like, once, i went out with a guy because i felt sort of sorry for him cuz he said i was the only girl he ever loved. so i agreed to go out with him. but he was.. well.. annoying and a pest and... HE got WAYY on my nerves. and i wanted to break up so bad. but i just didnt have the heart. I ended up making some lame excuse and said i just wanted to be friends... I was so depressed because he hated me afterwards, and now i'm like scared of dumping guys in case it ends up ruining any friendships from before. what do i do to get rid of the guilt?!?!?
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Mar 4 2005, 03:18 AM
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#2
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 naïvety Group: Human Posts: 1,303 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 488 |
Hmm. You ought to be guilty.
1- You said yes to a guy you didn't even like. Saying yes isn't doing him any good, since you'll dump him anyway sooner or later. The later you do it, the more it hurts. 2- When breaking up, excuses are the worst things you can say. You really can't blame him for hating you. Would you stay happy if your crush accepted you, pretended to love you, and then dumped you because he'd had enough of you? In this case, if number 1 hadn't happened, number 2 wouldn't exist. Bad news: you've lost all of a his trust Good news: you can learn from this experience.  EDIT// QUOTE ... and now i'm like scared of dumping guys in case it ends up ruining any friendships from before. The only way to solve this problem is to reject guys who you know things won't work out with. When you reject him at first you'll feel guilty, but you'll know you won't have to deal with dumping him when things don't work out. |
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Mar 4 2005, 07:14 AM
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#3
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 ‹(. .)› Group: Official Member Posts: 2,367 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,089 |
stop going out with them in the first place... you don't go out with someone because of pity... that's pretty stupid.
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Mar 4 2005, 08:00 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 4,882 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,064 |
Just like it'll take time for you to get over your guilt, it'll take them time to get over their love for you. I get that guilty feeling, too. It will eventually go away, once the guy starts feeling better, you'll feel better.
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Mar 4 2005, 10:19 AM
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#5
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 237 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 86,951 |
heyy it only means you got a big heart but the things you do that you think benefit the guy only makes it harder for them in the end - so the more guilt you feel and the more pain they get u know? so learn to reject people, in the nicest way possible of course
dont worry too much about it, there are lotsa a-hole and bitches who reject ppl everyday in the meanest ways, the best you can do is just do it nicely right! don't worry bout wat you did, everyone makes mistakes. Just dont do it again ok? it only makes things worse for the both of you. if you really feel that guilty, you could write your exes that u hurt in that particular way an email, or call em, and express how you feel and apologise, that will get it out of your chest for sure and show them that you care. then i'm sure you'll feel much better :) be happy! ^_^ ur a sweet girl |
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Mar 4 2005, 10:33 AM
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#6
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 Blasian, Asian, INVASION! Group: Official Member Posts: 4,288 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,769 |
yesterday was the first time I dumped a guy. yah...My friend asked me out 2 days ago and I didnt want to hrut him so I said yes. I made a mistake and told him I just wanted to be friends cause he was becoming over protective and obsessed. He is just more of my friend and now IM scared cause I like this other guy and he likes me back and we probably might be going out soon and Im scared my ex will hate me for basically dumping him for someone else....im messed up in the head
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Mar 4 2005, 01:30 PM
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#7
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 Live Your Own Party Group: Member Posts: 1,261 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,489 |
QUOTE(K!$$ @ Mar 4 2005, 4:18 AM) Hmm. You ought to be guilty. 1- You said yes to a guy you didn't even like. Saying yes isn't doing him any good, since you'll dump him anyway sooner or later. The later you do it, the more it hurts. 2- When breaking up, excuses are the worst things you can say. You really can't blame him for hating you. Would you stay happy if your crush accepted you, pretended to love you, and then dumped you because he'd had enough of you? In this case, if number 1 hadn't happened, number 2 wouldn't exist. Bad news: you've lost all of a his trust Good news: you can learn from this experience. EDIT// The only way to solve this problem is to reject guys who you know things won't work out with. When you reject him at first you'll feel guilty, but you'll know you won't have to deal with dumping him when things don't work out.  haha. That's so true. Although.... I have this dendancy to make excuses and feel bad for guys, too.  So, when a guy asks me out that I don't like, I usually tell them I'll date them but non-exclusivly so there isn't any attachment or relationship. Yeah... We both have our freedom.
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Mar 4 2005, 01:36 PM
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#8
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 katie fox is love. Group: Member Posts: 530 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,798 |
that was a dope move.
 next time a guy is being a pest, you need to tell him one of the following. 1 go beatoff 2 just the plain fcuk off or if you're in an emergency 3 get the hell away or i'll cut your balls off sucker 
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Mar 4 2005, 05:44 PM
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#9
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 45 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 108,598 |
Meh...i think if you didnt agree...the same thing would have happened...he might have not liked you when you didnt agree...so...i guess there was nothing you could do...
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Mar 4 2005, 06:00 PM
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#10
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 ...and this is me.. Group: Member Posts: 3,518 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,899 |
Your mistakes:
1.)dating him out of pity. what you did anyway: 2.)Breaking up with him and saying you only want to be friends... how can he not hate you? Just know that if you have a feeling something doesn't have a good ending...then....don't even begin it...an example: a relationship. You've lost a friend out of this...lesson learnt...next time...date someone you actually like..not because you feel pity. 
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Mar 4 2005, 06:32 PM
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#11
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Maybe you should take a break from dating, because you're obviously pretty immature in that area.
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Mar 4 2005, 11:14 PM
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#12
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 whaaaaaaat? Group: Member Posts: 2,293 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,660 |
u hurt him more than u know. u don't go out with someone out of pity. it'll never last, u crush their heart, and their soul goes *splinter crackle shatter*. good job. break it off now. before u hurt even more. and grow up kid.
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Mar 5 2005, 12:41 AM
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#13
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 *.'.'._gillie_.'.'.* Group: Member Posts: 563 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 101,217 |
time heals all pain.. dun worry bout it..i felt guilty be4 cuz i didnt take back my b/f but that was after he already broke up with me... but i didnt wanna go into a realationship with him feeling the way i did anyway..im goin off subject... yea its bad that u went with him out of pity but he'll move on..dont worry
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Mar 5 2005, 12:45 AM
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#14
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 Ah, mon Dieu ! Group: Member Posts: 2,274 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,587 |
you have to just experience with other men again, i guess..
mr. right is bound to show up soon. |
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Mar 5 2005, 01:27 AM
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#15
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 I'll never be who I was again.. Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
QUOTE(synkro @ Mar 4 2005, 2:14 AM) stop going out with them in the first place... you don't go out with someone because of pity... that's pretty stupid. i agree...its kinda mean too... |
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Mar 5 2005, 01:38 AM
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#16
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 Senior Member Group: Posts: 8,274 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,001 |
If you broke up with anyone, just dont be " friend " with them becuz they might still liked you and stil want you back .. so it's better not to see them again and make sure they're out of ur life so it doesnt hurt you more ..
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Mar 5 2005, 03:49 AM
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#17
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 889 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 42,392 |
u shudn't feel bad . he deserved it
when i dumped my ex.. at first things were just akward.. but we were still friends... but ...THEN HE STARTED ACTING LIKE AN A-HOLE.....n now he's going out with my best friend. blaahhh i dont care n e more. i found sm1 else. jus today<3 |
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Mar 5 2005, 11:16 AM
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#18
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 558 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,872 |
you can't really do anything.. Time usually heals it.
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Mar 5 2005, 05:01 PM
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#19
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,831 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,324 |
you can't really get rid of the guilt.
it's good that you do have some sympathy & care. next time, just don't go out with guys just because you feel sorry for them. 'cause you're just making it worse. |
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