confused, my parents dont know about my boyfriend Options

[usv04babe]

My name is Lia. I have been with this kid for a little while now. Everytime that we talk, I feel something. I really care about him, and he really cares about me. There is a big big problem though. My parents do not know about him, because if they did, I would be probably in an early grave. I met him on-line. Yes I know meeting people on line is not the best thing to do, but we just started talking one day, and one thing lead to another, and here we are today. My parents are very like old fashion, very strict as well in certain areas. They dont mind me going out with guys, and they can stay at the house because they know I wont do anything with them, but they hate with a passion the internet because they think it can lead to horrible things and this and that. I wish they could just understand that meeting someone online is just like meeting someone at the store. You still have to get to know them and such. His parents support him and they really like me. His mother always jokes me with about being her future daughter in law. I want to try and find a way to tell my parents about him, because we have plans this summer to meet up somewhere, and spend some time together. His idea is for him to come down here and then we can tell them together. I thought maybe I was just being stupid and such, and that this really isnt happening, but I can not stop thinking about him. I really care about him more than I have ever cared about anyone else. I have not been happy lately, and he makes me so happy with the little things he does and say. I just want to be happy again. I want everything to be ok. I mean I am happy now, but it is eating me up inside that I have to like hide him from everyone. I am so confused. I really do not know what to do. I wish there was an easy way to tell them. Please someone help me. Thanks. Lia.

[--x who0ps]

hmm well then i suppose you met him already then ?
because if you havent, your parents got a point there are alot situations where a girl meets a guy online and the guy says meet somewhere, and you go there, then get kidnapped, rapped, and killed. my mom had a client once and their mom met this guy online and that happened.

buttt if you did meet him :
then maybe you could first get to know him really well, then gradually explain the situation to your parents (:
good luck =]

[topsyturvy]

hmm well then i suppose you met him already then ?
because if you havent, your parents got a point  there are alot situations where a girl meets a guy online and the guy says meet somewhere, and you go there, then get kidnapped, rapped, and killed. my mom had a client once and their mom met this guy online and that happened.

buttt if you did meet him :
then maybe you could first get to know him really well, then gradually explain the situation to your parents (:
good luck =]

I agree.

Your parents are totally right for banning you to meet people online. You never know what might happen. You don't want to be one of those girls who plan to meet their "dream guy", meet up and find out he's some older creep, and then get raped.

If you've met him already, it doesn't make this situation okay. It's just that you got lucky and met an honest guy. Very very lucky.

[Mireh]

meeting someone online is just like meeting someone at the store

nope, actually, not at all.

See, in the store, your actually MEETING the person. Theres really nothing to hide. Over the internet, however, you have no clue if the other person is lying about his age, looks, or intentions.

If you WERE to meet him, i'd get a bunch of friends to go with you, just in case.

How old are you, how old is he?

[racoons > you]

^^
gd plan... tak ea bunch of friends and go to the movies or smoething, just to be 100% sure

but yeah it should be fine... if your rents have an issue... you have to decide for yourself if he's worth upsetting them

[EmmalieV]

hmm well then i suppose you met him already then ?
because if you havent, your parents got a point  there are alot situations where a girl meets a guy online and the guy says meet somewhere, and you go there, then get kidnapped, rapped, and killed. my mom had a client once and their mom met this guy online and that happened.

buttt if you did meet him :
then maybe you could first get to know him really well, then gradually explain the situation to your parents (:
good luck =]

I agree also,

[usv04babe]

I understand where everyone of you is comig from. In my mind I agree with you in some ways, others I don't, but yet in my heart I disagree completely. I am 18, and he is 19. We are techinally adults, and we should be able to do what we want we our lives. I can't understand why people are holding me back, and giving me so much negative feedback. Shouldn't a girl be able to feel happy? or should I have to live another 18 years in pain and suffering and watch everyone around me happy, as I sit here and struggle. I really appreicate from the bottom of my heart that you took the time to read my story and comment back, the thing that blows my mind is don't any of you believe in true love? What if he really is the one for me? I know the internet is a very scary and messed up place, but it can also be a good thing. Our plan was for him to come down here with his cousins, and meet up with me and a few of my friends. I would never go alone because I know all the risks. I have thought about this a lot, and for as much as it is a weird, and maybe life ordeal, I feel it is something I need to do. I need to explore new things, and meet people, so why not start with him?

[captured_serenit...]

tell them, i don't think they will hold it against you unless you did something wrong. =\

[starlette]

okay lookie here. I met a guy back when I was 14 online. Hes a year older than me and we still talk to this day. He lives in houston and I live in dallas, so we've never gotten the chance to meet eachother. I know he exists because of live video feed while were on the phone and everything, but my cousin (who was my legal guardian til I was 18) would have flipped if she knew I met him online. even tho I've known him since he was 15, longer than I know a lot of my friends. So heres what you do. If when you wanna meet him, dont mention where u met him. he could have "gone to school with you a long time ago and yall just got in contact online" or he could be "a friend or relative of a friends that you met at a party a while ago that you kept in contact with" I totally understand where u are cmoing from. I'm 19 now and my cousin still thinks its stupid for me to want to meet him, but I've tlaked on the phone to his mom, 2 of his sisters, and his brother. I've talked to him on the phone when he was at work. Hes one of my best friends...but she thinks hes a rapist. So, if you really know, and I mean really (seen him on a video, had him salute in a pic, SOMETHING) then its your decision. And make it easier, try and have him some to you. That way your parents can meet him themselves...they may make them more comforatble. dont even mention where u met him till after they meet him and make thier opinions about him. But number one, dont let anyone tell you how to live ur life. Just please, please please PLEASE be careful!! I dont even know you, but I want you to be safe!!!

(sorry for the long post)

[usv04babe]

I have thought about this a lot. He is worth in some ways of upsetting my parents. My parents are there to help me, support me, and guide me, but I am 18 and I need to finally learn some things on my own. I am not very close to either of my parents where I am able to talk to them about anything. I am very close to my brother however, and I tell him everything, and he knows about what I want to do, and he said he will always be there to support me. I need to learn to be on my own, to make mistakes, and to learn from them. I have realized that ever since I really strated to stress and worry about this, that everything else in my life has went down the hill. I am a straight A student in college. I actually took college classes while in high school to get ahead of the game. I should be done with my AA by May, but now I have like no motivation to go to class anymore, and I am like so sick feeling, and always tired. It's like I am depressed because I am worrying way too much about this problem. I know this kid exist and that he is real. We have talked everynight on the phone, we have seen pictures, we have seen video tapes. I have spoken to his mother, his father, all his little sisters, quite a few of his cousins, and his aunts/uncles, some of his friends and what not. They all have told me how happy he seems now after he met me. His ex girlfriend told me that she is happy that he finally found someone that really cares about him, and that she has never seen him this happy. My parents know that I talk to someone out of the state because of my cell phone bill. I told them that it was my friend Mike who I go to college with and who actually used to live out where my boy lives now. I know I could never really tell my parents the truth. They know everything about my boy except that his real name isn't Mike, and that I really did not meet him at the college I go to, but everything else about him, like his little sisters, his hopes and dreams, the stupid shit he has done, all that is the real him and not the made up Mike my parents think he is. *sorry if that does not make sense to you*. I know that no matter what it is going to be my desicion. No one can change anything. I really have to sit down and think and really decide what I want to do. He wants to come down here and tell my parents together so then it's easier on me, and so then they get to meet him, and judge him, and whatever else parents do. After he spends some time down here, he wants me to go with him so see his family, which I am not worried about because they like already know all about me, and they call me even when he isn't home just to talk and say hi, and see how I feel about little things up there. His mother, and oldest sister like include me in the stuff they do which makes me feel like already part of their friends and family circle. I am going to be very very very careful. I just want to say that I am happy someone can finally relate to my situation. Thank you so much karamelle. You made my day 10 times better because now I feel a lot better about my sitation, and don't worry about your post being so long. You really have helped me realize a lot more things. Thank you for caring so much about me, and you don't even know me, that means a lot. Well everyone I don't know what else to say. I am still very confused, and would like any kind of feedback you can give me. Thanks.

[HoodieObsessed]

EDIT

nvm abotu what I jsut babbled about, I hadn't read all the replies first.

by the sound of thigns it soudns like you are really in thouch with his family nad everything so I don't see how this couldn't be legit.

if I were you, I think I'd probably want to meet him in real life maybe with freinds, or maybe even with your brother since he knwos about it already anyway, but don't tell yer parents tell your sure it'll work out.

Once you've decided to tell yer parents if I were you, I'd take some advice from the replies above and dont' tell em you met him on the net, it'll jsut freak em out, I think they shoudl be introduced to him like you would anyone else, like a freind at school or wat knot, so that they wont' have a bad first impression. than once they know him alright I tihnk you should spill the beans, and hopefully they'll understand you.

sounds like this could be the guy for you, good luck and best wishes! I hope it turns out well

[Asian_Love]

Yea...even if i did meet this really amazing guy online, I wouldn't have a serious relationship.........maybe thats just me lol

[yukichan]

hmm well then i suppose you met him already then ?
because if you havent, your parents got a point  there are alot situations where a girl meets a guy online and the guy says meet somewhere, and you go there, then get kidnapped, rapped, and killed. my mom had a client once and their mom met this guy online and that happened.

buttt if you did meet him :
then maybe you could first get to know him really well, then gradually explain the situation to your parents (:
good luck =]

i agree...if u met him and trust him, go for it..but if u havent i dont think its a good...i would never have a serious relationship with a person i met online..

[cewinee]

okay lookie here.  I met a guy back when I was 14 online.  Hes a year older than me and we still talk to this day.  He lives in houston and I live in dallas, so we've never gotten the chance to meet eachother.  I know he exists because of live video feed while were on the phone and everything, but my cousin (who was my legal guardian til I was 18) would have flipped if she knew I met him online.  even tho I've known him since he was 15, longer than I know a lot of my friends.  So heres what you do.  If when you wanna meet him, dont mention where u met him.  he could have "gone to school with you a long time ago and yall just got in contact online" or he could be "a friend or relative of a friends that you met at a party a while ago that you kept in contact with"  I totally understand where u are cmoing from.  I'm 19 now and my cousin still thinks its stupid for me to want to meet him, but I've tlaked on the phone to his mom, 2 of his sisters, and his brother. I've talked to him on the phone when he was at work.  Hes one of my best friends...but she thinks hes a rapist.  So, if you really know, and I mean really (seen him on a video, had him salute in a pic, SOMETHING) then its your decision.  And make it easier, try and have him some to you.  That way your parents can meet him themselves...they may make them more comforatble.  dont even mention where u met him till after they meet him and make thier opinions about him.  But number one, dont let anyone tell you how to live ur life.  Just please, please please PLEASE be careful!!  I dont even know you, but I want you to be safe!!!

(sorry for the long post)

yeah i'm glad you found someone who can relate to your situation cuz im sure that makes you feel much better =) anyway sorry to hear that ur going through all this confusion but i'm happy to hear that u found someone special and real and im soo glad that u know how dangerous meeting ppl on the internet can be and that ur being really careful bout this, so atleast im satisfied with that bit =) and hey, it all comes down to how u feel and think bout this ok? i guess ppl should just stop seeing how HE could be the problem cuz thats not wat ur asking about is it? n i can tell that he's potentially a real good guy who you fell in love with over the net =) ey my boyfriend and i hooked up over the internet, and we're together for over two years now =) visiting each other every 2 months and we're so incredibly happy and in love (however he went to my highschool years ago, he was in the grade above me but we never really knew each other that well) and its most of the time hard to explain how we met to ppl when they ask us cuz they might think its silly or something, but it all comes down to the both of you ok? =) im personally happy for you guys ^_^ my advice bout ur parents.. i recommend you do wat karamelle suggested =)

cuz if the first thing u say to ur parents about this guy is that u met him over the net before they meet him, they'll just hold that against him straight away (like any other parent would these days! so dont worry its normal! u know how it goes) n when it comes to meeting him they'll jus not treat him so greatly cuz they got that internet idea at the back of their minds. know wat im saying? acting paranoid or cold or something towards him.. u dont want that. so yeah when he comes over with his cousins n u meet him with ur bunch of good friends, invite him over to see ur parents n act as if he's jus someone u met at college or wherever, casual, see how it goes.. then when u see that they really like him (make sure they know that u like him) find a good time to tell them how u met. thats however if you really feel the need to tell them the truth that soon.. if u dont really mind to lie to them bout how u met then dont tel them til later.. but dont lie too much. argh i dunno my advice is getting shit sorry =( just listen to wat kamelle did =)

for the meantime, dont worry too much n talk to him about it, to ur friends n ur brother! =) ur not alone ok =D take care n good luck! let us know how it goes!

[(>")>]

did you see him? cuz...your parents...ermm...are kinda...(KINDA) right...cuz..if you didnt meet him well...it can turn out to be someone you dont expect..

[TootsInTraining2]

You can be talking to a 56 year old pedafile

to put it simply

So if you want to meet up with him you have to tell ur rents, or go somewhere safe, like to the movies (you drive sepratly) Go with friends

Be SAFE!

[SoaDyPOP]

same thing happened with me. we were gonna meet, and we had this whole thing planned out. i was gonna tell my parents i met him at the riverfront during the summer and he lives in a different city (he only lives about 2 hours away), and then i was gonna see if my parents would let us hang out for a while. then i realized it's not too safe. i didn't really know him. i saw pictures of him, but they could've been some random kid he took pictures of. for all i know, he could've been a 90-year-old pervert. i had no idea who he really was, so we forgot the plans and just talked online.

[blah1234567]

does he live close by you? just say that hes a friend of yours from school

[Stupidxaimee]

Hmm..i can kinda relate, my parents don't want me to have a bf until i am out of colege! I am only in middle school and so far i have 15, everytime i get with a guy i feel really guitly whenever im next to my parents. In your situation, if you didn;t meet him yet, i think u should go meet up with him but bring a few friends just in case he might be one of those person.Once you did, invite him over or something and let your parents get to know him. Do this when your parents are in a good mood =]. It helps me whenever i want someting. I hope that helps you

[yeseulx3]

do whatever you want to do.

but i suggest you tell your parents if you already haven't.

[BlissfulIgnoranc...]

well im not opposed to meeting ppl online..ive met one of my bestest guy friends online be4..if u havent met him and u plan on meeting him..i definitly suggest taking ur friends with u and meeting at the mall or sumthing..its much safer that way..and i think u should jus nip it in the bud..is that how u say it..w/e ..cuz its gonaa eat u up inside if u dont tell ur parents and if they find out be4 u tell them urself then ur gonna be in big trouble..

[UrF4vL!pGl0Z...]

Yeah, just tell him to meet you somewhere public. Maybe with a couple friends for safety. then introduce your friends then off to your parents. good luck!

[aznhunnie6o1]

Hmm.. I have nothing to say. Do what you want to do. Do what you think is right.
Good luck with this guy. Hope he turns out to be the man of your dreams.

[usv04babe]

Thank you to everyone who had some advice for me. I have decided that I am stressing way too much about telling my parents. Hopefully they will support me no matter what I do. My boy and I have decided to meet this summer with some friends, and then we will go from there. I think this is the real thing, and if not, then it's as real as I know.

[usv04babe]

Well you guys will be happy to hear that I made up my mind. I did what I thought was right. I got on a plane, and I went out to see him. Guess what, he is everything and anything I have ever wanted and more. We spent 5 days together, and it was amazing. His family really likes me, and his little sisters are already asking me when I will be their sister, and his mom refers to me as her future daughter in law. He is moving down to where I live next month to get a place, and then we are going to offically start our relationship. I found the man of my dreams, and I could not be happier. Thank you all for taking time out of your busy days to give me advise, I really appreciate it.