Thesis, due tomorrow |
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 Feb 24 2005, 06:09 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 5,585 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,082  |
"With peer pressure being so strong in schools these days, advice given to an individual would help that person become a stronger person. Teens go through peer pressure every day, and it influences their life, although they may not know it. Advice one might give to another is to assure them that in the end, everything is going to be alright. Peer pressure is all around us. It is like a journey filled with happiness, sorrow, and lessons learned. Things may not look up for you when you're feeling down, but it's not always going to end that way."
That's my introduction..My teacher said I needed a thesis. Help anyone? Thanks MUCH. |
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Feb 24 2005, 06:59 PM
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#2
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 Quand j'étais jeune... Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 6,826 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,272 |
A thesis needs to introduce the points that you will write about in later paragraphs. So with that in mind, what are the points or ideas that you'll address in the essay?
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Feb 24 2005, 07:35 PM
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#3
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 asdfghjkl; Group: Member Posts: 187 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 104,038 |
QUOTE(uninspiredfae @ Feb 24 2005, 3:59 PM) A thesis needs to introduce the points that you will write about in later paragraphs. So with that in mind, what are the points or ideas that you'll address in the essay?  yeh... it basically sums up your essay in one or two sentences. |
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Feb 24 2005, 07:41 PM
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#4
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alli Group: Member Posts: 513 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,108 |
its a specific statement that sums up the hole paper in like 0ne or 2 sentences..
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Feb 24 2005, 08:41 PM
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#5
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 hi, my name is hillary Group: Member Posts: 352 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 76,591 |
well, what exactly are you trying to prove? like what are you're three points you're gonna make?
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Feb 25 2005, 11:48 AM
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#6
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,746 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 52,931 |
eh, the intro paragraph seems a little disorganized; there doesn't seem to be a central idea.. the journey analogy especially confused the heck out of me. your thesis should be so distinct that anyone reading it would be able to point it out clearly.. it should be located toward the end of your intro paragraph. also, you should probably start out with a better opener.. an anecdote or quote.. and then relate it to your topic.
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Feb 26 2005, 04:41 AM
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#7
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 129 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 104,794 |
^^ wow u sound so smart ehehe didnt get anything you said but ok.? im dumb ehehe dont mind me.
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Feb 26 2005, 05:21 PM
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#8
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 5,585 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,082 |
You may close this. My essay was already submitted in before you guys answered. Thanks anyway. I guess.
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Feb 26 2005, 06:12 PM
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#9
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Quand j'étais jeune... Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 6,826 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,272 |
Closed.
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