PLEASE READ: real love situation |
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 Feb 20 2005, 01:46 AM
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#1
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 Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 6 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 101,829  |
I'm 17 and I have a boyfriend of almost 12 months. It feels like we're still in love with each other but sometimes it just fades then it comes back again. We have been arguing alot and disagreeing, it seems like the only thing keeping us together is the sex and the fact that we've been through so much together. I feel like I'm just staying because I can't bear to move on but sometimes I want to move on so bad because it's like we aren't compatible as we used to be anymore. Well, there's this guy that works right across from me and we always smile at each other, then one day he starts talking to me and asked me to lunch. We talked for a long time and I felt happy, I actually felt happy. Now he likes me but he knows I have a boyfriend. He's 23 and he doesn't want to pursuit anything because I don't turn 18 til September and he doesn't know whether I would accept him. I know I love my boyfriend, I care about him, but...maybe I'm not IN LOVE with him? Sometimes I feel so trapped, I just want to fly away. PLease help and leave suggestions or advices!
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Feb 20 2005, 01:47 AM
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#2
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 6 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 101,829 |
today I went to lunch with him again. I'll just call him John, cause I dont want to state his real name. And i felt horrible because my boyfriend was working today and he got out of work at 3 and came to visit me. I was so scared so I left my work to go and see him before he comes too close to my workplace and John would have to see my boyfriend. It would've been awkward. I felt bad because my boyfriend said he missed me and he gave me a big hug. I felt like crying. After he left, i went back to my workplace and John asked me to go to lunch with him and so I did. But what's weird is that when I'm with him, all the stress and sadness goes away. I didn't even feel guilty. I only feel guilty when I see my boyfriend. Well, later on when I was almost closing, I had an arguement with my boyfriend on the phone and we're mad at each other. It's really stupid ****. but John makes me feel better right away. I just love talking to him. There's still a lot that I dont know about him, and with my boyfriend I feel like I don't know who he is anymore. Almost a year and now Im having doubts. Everytime we argue, I just get so stressed out. I tell myself I don't deserve this but my boyfriend's a good guy. I dont know what to do. So many times before we broke up and tried to just be friends but we always got back together...
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Feb 20 2005, 01:51 AM
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#3
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 I'll never be who I was again.. Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
uhhhh...if u dont love ur boyfriend anymore, y be with him?if u feel stressed over ur boyfriend, i dont think thats good...it might be time to move on...
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Feb 20 2005, 02:10 AM
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#4
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 You can't keep running from what you're trying to find. Group: Official Member Posts: 5,030 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 54,096 |
maybe you should just break up, and try being on your own for a while, then try being with "john". maybe you won't miss your boyfriend as much as you're thinking you might... this is tough
 hope it works out 
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Feb 20 2005, 02:24 AM
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#5
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 naïvety Group: Human Posts: 1,303 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 488 |
Like nekochan1018 says, why be with your boyfriend if you enjoy being with John more? And like angel_revelation says, consider breaking up with your current boyfriend and going for John.
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Feb 20 2005, 02:29 AM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Posts: 8,274 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,001 |
Choose the one that benefits you the most.
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Feb 20 2005, 02:36 AM
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#7
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naïvety Group: Human Posts: 1,303 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 488 |
^ Benefit? That's harsh. And pretty shallow.
But if you meant emotional benefit, then I have no arguments there. |
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Feb 20 2005, 04:31 AM
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#8
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 High Voltage!∞ Group: Official Member Posts: 4,728 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,157 |
Hmm..what a tough situation..
 Well..it seems like you can connect more with John. So I'm thinking...try taking a break from your current boyfriend and see how it goes with you and John.  Good luck and much love 
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Feb 20 2005, 07:25 AM
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#9
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 |
like everyone says, i think you should go with this john guy. you seem to be able to relate to him better, and you're actually happy.
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Feb 20 2005, 11:18 AM
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#10
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 to be loved by someone you love is.. everything Group: Member Posts: 1,207 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,205 |
awW... that's exactly how I felt for the past 3 years.. besides the sex part.. (im a virgin.. x]) BUt i guess i just moved on, but i think you should talk to yur bf and see how he feels about you
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Feb 20 2005, 11:27 AM
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#11
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 ...and this is me.. Group: Member Posts: 3,518 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,899 |
the fact that you said this: I know I love my boyfriend, I care about him, but...maybe I'm not IN LOVE with him? Being able to say this says alot of things...the fact that you're unsure as to where you should be...Why don't you take a break? Sex shouldn't be the only thing that's saving the relationship. It's the fact that you can talk about things without arguing and have agreements. The only reason you feel guilty after you've been with John is because you're already with someone else...[your b/f]. Maybe.....you should end things now before you have any more doubts and go for "John" instead.
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Feb 20 2005, 12:18 PM
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#12
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 628 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 98,376 |
QUOTE Shattered_Hope Posted: Feb 20 2005, 12:27 PM the fact that you said this: I know I love my boyfriend, I care about him, but...maybe I'm not IN LOVE with him? Being able to say this says alot of things...the fact that you're unsure as to where you should be...Why don't you take a break? Sex shouldn't be the only thing that's saving the relationship. It's the fact that you can talk about things without arguing and have agreements. The only reason you feel guilty after you've been with John is because you're already with someone else...[your b/f]. Maybe.....you should end things now before you have any more doubts and go for "John" instead. ^ what she said |
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Feb 20 2005, 02:58 PM
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#13
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 hi. call me linda. Group: Official Member Posts: 8,187 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,475 |
You know, once in a while, I feel like that with my boyfriend, but I know that I am in love with him. Anyways, like everyone said, if you're not in love with him anymore, take a break or something. And then, try things out with John since you're comfortable with him.
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Feb 20 2005, 06:30 PM
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#14
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 6,953 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 52,702 |
it could be just cupid messing with you, relationships usually are fun at first they just get srewed up later
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| *Programmer* |
Feb 20 2005, 06:38 PM
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#15
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lmao...this is hilarious...but on a serious note....go with who you think you want...whatever the decision is your a winner because you still have a man...about what you said up there.....you two always get back together..so yeah what if you do go out with the guy...you might just go behind his back...and back to bf you have now....as for the lunch thing i reccommend you stop that unless you want a dramatic breakup.( i would be pissed. not to mention you would lie to him which would hurt even more).....with your current boyfriend. so if you wanna keep him...don't do it anymore.... go with what your heart tells you....might wanna talk to your boyfriend though it sounds like you two "lost communication" your choice ..so w/e ....in the end it's up to you.
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