createBlog Diary., Version 3. Options

[Saeglopur]

Dear Diary,

My is sick. I hope feels better.

Really sad,
Kim

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

today was so great! I had the giggles in 1st period! i kept getting into trouble! but i stopped...i swear...:innocent...

and i got a valentine! Kerri, it was so much fun! i love today. i think i am going to stay at home and just hang out! it shall be fun!

i can't wait to go to school tomorrow! i love b days! and i can't wait to play tennis. i am getting so much better. i am so proud!

--Frankie

[*jooleeah*]

Dear cB diary,
I don't like snooty and bitchy people. They piss me off.
School pisses me off.
My NHS schedule pisses me off.
People who say " OMG" too much piss me off.
Stupid people that pretend to be something they're not piss me off.
Wow, I am pissed off.
Happy Valentine's Day,
Julia.

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

happy valentine's day. i had a good one this year. i actually got some stuff. i was at first disappointed due to the late factor of someone or the lack of something from someone until after i got something for him but s'all good. i still love them. thanks so much.

[Chii]

Dear createBlog diary,

happy valentine's day

it's me and johnny's first valentine's day together he got big this huge bouquet of roses and surprised me before i got to school i didn't expect so many. he got me a dozen roses - that were in full bloom...unlike what every other girls i've seen who's roses were barely in bloom and they were with these other little white flowers...baby's breath? it was sooo pretty. hehe i got so many compliments and jealousy because of my huge bouquet...i haven't seen anyone today with a bouquet as big as mine. right now, i'm trying to dry them in my room so i can keep them forever

when johnny first got them, he was trying to fix them and make it look better, but one broke off which is okay, because 11 roses means everlasting love maybe it's a sign

while i was at school, we text each other he asked me to be his valentine...hehe, i accepted only if he was mine and if we had wild sex and foreplay =D

then we met up at the train station near his school, i got him a rainbow ice and a longon ice for myself. we went to the movie theater and had nachos.

we were going to ride the train around and talk and cuddle and stuff when we were at 42nd, i realized that we didn't have chocolate...and chocolate definately should be eaten on valentine's day...we were both rushing and never got the chance to get chocolate for one another so, i went to some newsstand at the station and got a kit kat bar...we shared the first 3 pieces, then on the fourth, we ate it like in "lady and the tramp" we took tiny bites of it, holding it in both of our mouths and kissed it was so sweet

then we took the train and napped on top of each other we rode the train all the way to the end of the line. then we kissed and made out because we were the only ones left on the train - we were taking it back uptown. we waited until 7:55pm - the exact time we started officially going out. we made out for each ride to each stop until brighton beach that's when some people boarded we still kissed though. then we went to mc donalds because well, we need to eat some kind of dinner...i had to be home soon, it was already 8pm...so we got this happy meal and i got this "my little pony" we shared everything like always and ate the last chicken mcnugget covered in barbecue and sweet&sour sauce

then i took the train back to my place

i love valentine's day...i can't believe johnny spent $55.00 on that bouquet of roses...but nonetheless, i love that crazy spenthrift =P

johnny, i love you so muches you're more than what i wanted as a boyfriend...i love you're thoughtfulness, you're smile, your touch, your love for me, the way you care for me, the way you pat my head, the way we're so silly together, bunniii, i love everything about you . you're the one for me secksi. you are my only, my only one

ps
i didn't know that there was a limit to the emocions i could use...oh well, i only had to get rid of one

pps
okay...i just editted and didn't add any emocions...apparently i went over again somehow <_<

so much love,
M.L. x3

[weirdness]

dear cB diary;
valentines day... hmms
anyways i got my report card today
i gots a 94.5, hehes

-nancy

[FLIPxADDICTION]

Dear Diary,
Everything went fine during school. Hanged with my friends ate chocoloate. Only bad thing was that my crush wasn't at school today. Afterschool everything went totally wrong. My sister stole my clothes. I'm stuck with loads of homework and here I am crying like i am everyday now. I hate being emo, it's hard for me not to cry. It sucks that i don't have a good life.

bye.

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog diary,
There's so much I regret doing in my life, I don't even know where to begin. I began to write of all I regretted.. but I realized that I hate to let the world know my shame. I hate to let the world mock me and scoff at me. So I erased what I'd written. I just wish my life were different. I wish I'd made different choices. As much as I love who I am today, I wish I were someone else sometimes. I wish I wasn't someone who harbors so much anger, so much hatred. I'm not a shameful girl, but it seems I have everyone fooled.

I have a bad temper. It's not evident upon just meeting me face-to-face the first time, but it quickly becomes clear. When I get all dressed up, adults always tell me that I have a spirit of.. well.. success and elegance. When I'm mannered, I'm truly a respectable person. But I hate the feeling I get when I act in such a way. I feel suppressed; I feel fake. I wish my respect, my kindness, my good-heartedness were genuine. I know it's not.

I've cried over it before. Honestly, I'm a sham. I hate children, but yet when I first see them, I gush over them. They're adorable at first, but I can't deal with children. I put on the façade, I play along with them for as long as I can tolerate them, and then I snap. I absolutely hate them. And yet I can gush over them and play with them for the first half hour that I meet them. Go figure, that's all I ever am; I front.

As I was saying, my temper is horrible. I have low tolerance for anything, stupidity and ignorance especially. I throw fits all the time, I cry nearly everyday over something that pisses me off, I freaking scream and fight with my parents everyday over the most trivial of things, the most recent being that I wasn't on the Internet (no connectivity, thanks to my dad). The fights become more frequent over everything from my choice of friends to how my hair looks to my attitude.

Sometimes I hate who I've grown to be. I hate more than half of the people I know, I hate everyone until they prove themselves worthy, I hate how I'm treated. Perhaps that's the reason I'm such a cruel person. There's always that old saying, "Treat others how you wish to be treated." I've stopped believing in it, I've stopped following it. I used to treat people with respect and kindness about two years ago. But then I transferred to Milpitas High. Nobody at Milpitas High deserves my respect; everyone's a piece of shit. Nobody is worth the effort.

I suppose it serves me right for being raised in private schools. Everyone is at least mildly disciplined there. But public school, it was a huge change. It's the reason I'm a bitch. It's the reason I'm so hated. I tried acting out of benevolence; I tried being a nice person. It never repaid me in anything except betrayal, treachery, and hurt. I treated others nicely, but I never received reciprocal treatment. I became jaded. I became cold. Now my mentality is more of a "treat others the way I'm treated" philosophy. After all, that's the only thing that holds true anymore.

I wish I were a nice person sometimes. Times like these. How many friends to I have in real life that would die for me? Honestly, I can probably only name Jennifer. She's probably my best friend, we're so much alike, except for the fact that everyone seems to like her so much more. Sometimes it makes me jealous, but then I realize I would hate to be fawned over the way she is. I still hate it though sometimes, that she can take life so lightly, that she has such a wonderful family, that she seems to have no problem holding herself back in relationships. We're so alike, and yet so very different.

It's sort of hard for me to give my trust to people. I've been disappointed one too many times because I tried to rely on others. Nowadays, when I do finally give my trust others, however, I find that somehow I give it to all the wrong people. For the people who I give my trust to, usually friends and (chosen) family, I'm a good judge of character. But the problem seems to be when it's some guy that I have a crush on, I'm horrible at judging him. I suppose I'm too blinded to see his flaws. I'm too stubborn to take note of his imperfections.

Is it wrong to question why I always seem to fall for the wrong guy? The only time it's ever seemed right.. the only time when I didn't seem to be deliberately hurt.. he was my first love. Christian Mata. I can attest that it's easiest to love the first time; you're young, you're naïve, you're innocent. You don't know the pain, you don't know the hurt, you don't know the fear, the tears, the worry.. I wish I hadn't given so much of me away. It's only been to two guys.. two serious relationships.. but I want myself back. I wish I were whole.

I had hoped for the fairytale romance where I would fall in love with him, Prince Charming. I'd hoped to marry the first guy I ever gave my heart to. It seemed like that for such a while. I remember talking with Christian about our future together. It seemed so utterly perfect. While I know that he's changed, and I've changed, sometimes I miss him. Perhaps not so much him, but the way I felt with him, the way it felt to be truly loved, simply and purely. He was my first in so many ways. My first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first love, my first heartbreak..

As for me, I still wish that, somehow, life would become simple again. I wish we were all in kindergarten once again, where the only problems we had were skinned knees and broken crayons instead of shattered hearts and bitter tears. But it's time to grow up now. It's time to look forward and forget the past, time to stop reminiscing and forget all the wonderful memories as well as the resentful grudges.

It's time to move on, time to grow and learn.

- Me.

-----

Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong?

-----

Stop pointing fingers, the blame is on me
I want a new life, and I want it with you

[gigiopolis]

Dear cB diary,

I didn't get any roses today, but who cares. He said he loves me!

- Gigi

[Looow]

Dear Diary,

Valentines Day was the best. I'm so happy. Wedding coming up

[*tweeak*]

Dear cB diary,
I don't like snooty and bitchy people. They piss me off.
School pisses me off.
My NHS schedule pisses me off.
People who say " OMG" too much piss me off.
Stupid people that pretend to be something they're not piss me off.
Wow, I am pissed off.
                      Happy Valentine's Day,
                                 Julia.

i love you julia. i agree completely. my NHS schedule pisses me off too...even if you are worse off than me right now =[

welll then

dear cb diary,
i dont like capital letters much. or diaries. or essays, unless theyre essay tests. i actually like those. yes, im a freak. but only in history, actually. ehem. i made a members photo thread. hizzah! thats not a word. but i dont care. im in such a strange mood. and ive just listened to the recluse by cursive about 20 times. i love this song. saddle creek bands are great. i got a copy of the janfest cd. it made me happy, then depressed people, because it reminded me of my chronic innability to play again. sigh. im so emo. pshh im quite anti emo actually. maybe just anti jordan. does this qualify as stream of consiousness? because i have just written some really random shit. i dont want to take all 7 periods next year. im going to dieeeeeeeeeee. and i miss ballantine. what the hell am i talking about? oh, nothing. i had something else to sy. what was it? i dont know. does it matter? no one is oing to read this anyway. blah i cant type. barry says blah. hmmmm. shutting up in case someone does decide to read this. ahahahaha. yeah right. why the hell am i still typing? and why am i spontaneously being sent free razors?

and a thankful goodbye,
wait nevermind


oh, and also, it pisses me off that my school has to be so hard to go about giving the impression that theyre a "good school" i mean, maybe they are, but id rather get good grades for all the work i do, and get into a good college. i mean, i could go to dunwoody or marist (for some reason, private schools are amazingly easy) (and decalb schools just suck) (just like my ability to spell decalb). but i do good work. i am a decently smart person. but its not fair that i have to work my ass off only to fail time and time again. i have a C and D right now. i mean, why does this happen? its not fair. im smarter than this. i do better work than this. and i have an 81 in lit. what the hell? why do teachers feel the need to fail us to "prepare" us? we dont need to be prepared for college if we cant get in. f**k f**k f**k

[*Programmer*]

Dear CB diary

Im confused....i don't know what i wanna do.....

[racoons > you]

dear cb diary

ok i dunno what to do abt sarah. i mean, i really think i should split iwth her, and at the same tim ei really dont wanna... lifes a bitch and then you die

and i also really feel that amy is in serious danger of fucing up her lif if she stays with seb... and i wanna change schools

franticly yours,
james

[*stephinika*]

dear cb diary,

i'm in my info tech class right now and we have a sub...so we are obviously not really doing anything. i have so much on my mind yet really...only one. well one issue...multiple people. its ridiculous really...its one of those cliche things between the choice by the heart or by the mind y'know? because i know what i should do and i do it (and what i should not do and i don't do it) but i always have that nagging thing in the back of my head always of "what if?" you know? what if i am right about my nagging suspicions? that could change everything about my life...but there is no way of knowing for sure without completely letting the truth out to someone. its the last secret i hold from anyone...and its driving me crazy inside.

[miss barnes]

Dear CB diary

thoughts are always running across my head. what are they to mean? i get so confused. i want them to GO AWAY

reekah

[FLIPxADDICTION]

Dear CB diary,

I hate it when i cry. It happens too often now, i just can't help it. I hate my sister so much now. I don't care what other people say. I hate her. She ruins my life. She steals my clothes, my camera which i have recently found. Her friends make fun of me calling me a depressed emo kid. I know it may be true but it hurts my feelings more. Not to mention my sister is a down right hypocrite. She may seem nice on the outside but when you truly know what kind of person is you'll hate her as much as i do. She's fake she's mean. I wish my sister would just go away and let me have a better life.

kass

[Heathasm]

inspirational material comes most when youre sad and have no will left
complete sadness i need to have contact with people who know who can guide me i dont have any one im afraid to call some one im scared to think only about myself i find time to do little things. i have no will to do any thing except to accept what has happened to frantically find some one to comfort me. im afraid of sounding corny or like im trying to sound depressed and deep im afraid im dwelling im afraid whats happening is never really going to end im afraid of passing it on im afraid of passing it on im afraid of hurting people with my mood all of my emotions are fear but i dont feel fears presence in my head just apathy and the yearning to let people know and understand that i am unhappy and have always lived around unhappiness slowing killing each others souls and passing on the traits they hate in each other most. confusion about every thing that is life and not

dear diary
im on the verge

[*Programmer*]

Dear cb diary

i enjoyed last night....i made you laugh....... i made you smile....and i got to know you a little better...i hope you have a good day at school...you know who you are

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diary,

school was fun today! really easy. but in leadership, i had to hang up banners up all by myself! no one wanted to help me! but it was all good. i had fun by myself. well, not really.

but all my other classes went good!

and yesterday, i finally made a new skin for my xanga! it isn't THAT good but i like it! def better than my last one! it is all about my hometown: arlington, texas. A.K.A. agg town!

--Frankie

[Nicolatofu]

Dear cb diary:

Yay i got my hair done yesterday! But you can't even tell that she dyed it, which I paid 60 dollars for so that you COULD tell but oh well the highlights look nice... yes I'm glad to say I don't think of him anymore especially after my dream last night...whoh'd wanna go back to that? I swear I'm invisible.
<3Nicole

[faithin_felix]

dear diary,

someone made a new diary post.

Felix

[*Kathleen*]

FELIX! Oh my gosh. You haven't been on lately.

Dear createBlog diary,

Tell Felix to get on more often. And...I suck at life.
-Kathleen

[Euphoria Rose]

Dear Createblog Diary,

I hate my life. I wish I lived in a world filled with TVs, computers, sushi, and tacos.

[*Azarel*]

Dear createBlog diary,
I'm lonely. It's been nine long months since I've actually had someone to call my own. I miss the feeling. I don't know how much longer I can last.
-Me.

[heyyfrankie]

Dear Createblog Diar,

yeah, i am sick with a stomache virus now! i don't know why god is punishing me! that is obviously what he is doing because i have had so many things wrong with me lately! i threw up three times last night. my throat is killing me and i got to stay home today. i just want to get better, again.

--Frankie