Why We are..., ...the TOUGHER sex Options

[julietpunk]

haha. i got this as a FWD from my friend and i had to share






Why Women are Tough:

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find
anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds
hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty,
uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap
until we have calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner).
Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the
hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs
or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know
we had.

The teen years. Need I say more?

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex
for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod
push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and
didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to
wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers
and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning
over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we
are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us
steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if
we're having Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole
and we pee in our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment
arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably
burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big
cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff
and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming,
Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good
push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling,
mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when
all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into
walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little
poop machines.

The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual
prime in our early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his
18th birthday.
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of
all womanhood. It's either take the HR and chance cancer in those
now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat
like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite
the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men
get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to
pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite
me. Send this to seven bright women you know and make their day!!!
Or at least make them laugh a little...