a poem copying T.S. Eliot, it's for my AP english 3 class Options

[voguelove]

so, for english, our teacher told us to write a "copy" fo t.s. eliot's poem, "the love song of j. alfred prufrock."
his first 14 lines are..

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a ptient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.



and here's mine. it's not suppose to match perfectly or anything, just with some of the same concepts. mine is about vaccation.


Let us go then, you and I,
Strolling through the heavens with a sigh
Like a child scampering through flowers;
Let us go, barefoot on sorrows,
Skipping yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
Of sun kissed skin and fun loving days
Defeating those repetitious home ways.
Winding paths of accomplishments and eagerness
Seeing their kind with finesse.
Having too much fun altogether
Isn’t that what we please?
Let us go and make our visit

Through the streets of their habitats
Wondering how we should interact.





the end. haha, so basically, do you guys think it's okay? like, does it kinda match up?