Love hurts, I'm hurt Options

[mizzkim]

this is only half the story

You guys I need a little cheering up. My boyfriend and I have been having problems. It was because of me and I didn't realize it. I was saying mean things on aim because he was typing to his "online" girl talking about "hes going to ignore me for eight months". I thought we were okay 2 weeks ago on sunday. But then again I screwed because that online girl kept saying stuff like "yeah he wants to ignore you". I was listening to her and say kinda rude stuff on Aim. I had no idea.. what I have became. And when I saved all those coversations with him I feel horrible. I did something bhind his back because he was ignoring me I went to go check his little game forum accound because he was talking to that "online girl". When I read it "it said I'm such a gentlemen to her, I just want to slap her and call her bitch". To me I got very concern. I pressured him I had no Idea, he was joking at first. Because I did it to him, and I forgot. He was trying to tell me on aim how I screwed up, and he was just calling me vulgar words. And now when I think back it was all me , and he didn't do much wrong. The thing is if he was my boyfriend why didn't he stop me from acting crazy? I didn't know my crying affected him either, I was taking it out on him. He was my first real boyfriend. We were in a serious relationship. He was the type on boy like in a romantic love movies. He gave me all my stuff back. I wrote him letters to say I was sorry, because I realize what I done. He gave them back. I thought if I gave him space he would be okay at school. I talked on aim asking about his sister. He just kept saying I won't be nice about it anymore, stop going in circles, and leave me alone. So I called him on the phone just to make sure, he wasn't mind gaming me. And I just simply said hey I just want to know on aim is that stuff true. He said some stuff. I told him I still have feelings for him, does he feel the same. He kept saying I dunno I dunno. Then told me that quote "I love you but I don't like you as much". The boy feel in love with me really , and I just feel terrible because I was way out of control. I lost him..and he was such a good boyfriend. Later on last week he tapp me saying I just don't want to be in any relationships for a while. He said he was still angry, and fighting a battle with him self. Told me if I was going to be okay, I said yeah. Then he smiled(which I think it was a forced smile) and he said don't lie. And I told him as long as you don't hate me we can be friends. He didn't respond to it, and when the bell rung and he walk away. He wrote a letter to my dad.. saying he will never forgive me how I treated him.Nor will be friends. But he left out the love and cared. I really miss him and even wonder am I in love? I go on the interenet just to hurt myself. He's been talking to that"online friend" I talk to her to because I guess I still care about him. She tells me he calls her. I just don't know do you think he will forgive me on how I acted?

I dunno I need someone to talk to , my friends havnt been in these types on relationships