Like You Options

[TreesTurnMeOn]

Who are you to judge me from my artificial self
You don't even know half of the story of my life
And you don't understand what it's like to wake everyday
With nothing to hope for;nothing joyous in this lifetime
Only an imitation of the true person in the core of my disguise

My depression is asscending further than ever
Preforming for this crowd of critics;I am a puppet on a string
It's so difficult to make it through
And I'm not quite sure what to do
But I know for a supported fact that I am ugly inside like you

The souveniers of this long journey are the
Scars on my wrist and a black hole for a heart
All I want in the end is victory of our never-ending war
But this disease I have is excessive
And I will be defeated...alone

My depression is asscending further than ever
Preforming for this crowd of critics;I am a puppet on a string.
It's so difficult to make it through
And I'm not quite sure what to do
But I know for a supported fact that I am ugly inside like you

As my last thoughts and words linger in my mind
As I confide these unknown secrets with pen and paper
As this competition has finally died down
As I lie here motionless in a body whose soul was rejected
And heart broken.

[ryfitaDF]

it's good, but i'm kind of confused. the first verse is kind of open to anyone, but the second and third narrow it down to some kind of ex. kind of like you went off on a tangent.

and a piece of advice, if you're willing to take it: metaphores are better than similies. like this. which sounds better?

"Preforming for this crowd of critics like I'm a puppet on a string"
or
"Preforming for this crowd of critics. I am a puppet on a string"?

i personally would pick the second.