movie critic, (title can be changed) |
 Jan 21 2005, 01:07 PM
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#1
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 ...  Group: Member Posts: 818 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 32,366  |
this is my first poem that i wrote and i really would appreciate some cricism (sp?) so i can maybe make it better.
Emptiness The darkness consumes until I’m nothing Numb so I can no longer feel I sit back and watch Others live their lives Like a movie That I was never in I sit and watch everyone else live And criticize their life and their choices And how their hypocrisy Lives in everyone Even me I want to feel again And not be numb any more I don’t want to be like any one else But I want to feel Like every one else |
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Jan 21 2005, 03:52 PM
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#2
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 fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
I got it.
Congratulations. |
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Posts in this topic
krispy_kreme333 movie critic Jan 21 2005, 01:07 PM
KissMe2408 Awesome, that's really good for a first poem. ... Jan 22 2005, 04:52 PM
krispy_kreme333 thanx so much for the advice, i think i will keep ... Jan 25 2005, 01:00 PM |
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