I never got the Apology i deserved, ex boyfriend abused me for years Options

[cewinee]

ok this is gona be long im really sorry =( but i really need advice... help mee

i've had a boyfriend where our relationship went fine for the first month but then he got controlling. he'd tell me things to convince me that he's the one for me, the only one for me, telling me that i love him.. yeah i was extremely naive back then and still growing up building a 'self' for myself.. so i was easily influenced. he manipulated me and i fell for it. the big fights would start every week, literally every week about little things that he'd make big deals about so that he makes sure i dont do those mistakes again. he pulled me away from all my friends and made me do things i wouldnt do. telling me everything bad about my friends and even myself. after time, in our weekly almost daily fights, he'd tell me to go kill myself.. and once i attempted to do so.. but ended up having my stomach pumped. he screamed at me again for even trying instead of comforting me. and of course after alittle more time.. he started hitting me. he told me that ppl you love and love you back will always make you go thru pain no matter wat.. so i let him do wat he did for 3 years on and off. i was young :( anyway i finally moved to another country with my family and so did he.. but he told me to still be his girlfriend and to be loyal. so it was an overseas relationship. i stayed loyal. however, it was a different lifestyle. i felt SO free, i had SO many friends and had SO much fun, i hadnt felt like that for a LONG time.. i was happy. i started having big problems with my parents, i cried to my boyfriend for comfort and advice but instead he just told me to "shut the f**k up just stop whining". after he found out about the fun i'd been having, he got so extremely jealous and told me to stop anything that i'm doing that caused me any fun unless it has to do with him. i didn't listen to him, i just hid from him for the first time. after a while i found out that he'd been doing everything id been doing for fun and even had gfs.. i remember i was at my best friend's house sleeping over when he admitted it.. and i almost passed out cuz i was so shocked. i was so stupid lol. but yeah i was young. by the time however id met a guy.. n he was the most amazing person id ever met n he was the first tootreat me like a human being =.) he gave me that 'nerve' the 'right' to confront anything that was in my way of being happy.. and so i did it, one day when my ex screamed at me over the phone.. i told him for the first time ever, "just shut up.." and he was so shocked he was silent for a bit so i just kept going and broke up with him and he kept saying how i need him and he needed me and i just laughed and said no i dont. haha it was an incredible feeling. then he tried to act all charming but i jus told him to shut up. i hate getting brought down to an a-hole's level but in this case i had to. i wanted to show him i changed n i dont need him =) anyway to skip a few more hurtful or watever stuff, i met a guy who changed my life =..) he helped discover and bring out the true colors of me again =.) and we've been together ever since.. its been 2years now that we're together and we're in a long distand relationship but we both save up for tickets to visit each other. we visit each other every 2 months and life cant get better than this =)
however.. the problem is that.. i keep having this thought in the back of my head about my ex, wishing that i got an apology for everything he'd done to me. as mature as i could be.. after a few months of our break up, i spoke to him. i told him calmly how he's hurt me and to not sound like a drama queen like he'd call me, i would say MY faults in how he treated me so he wouldnt get so mad so easily.. but he didnt change at all.. he just told me "no i dont regret wat i did to you.. you deserved every bit of it".. after ever few weeks n months he'd try however he could to contact me to beg me back n when id say no nicely he'd scream at me all over again. i know i should be moving on maybe.. because i have such an amazing thing now.. but i hate knowing that he's getting away with the 3years he's wasted my life of. i personally dont regret wats happened in the past because its wats made me a stronger person today.. its jus.. i dunno i cant explain.. wat should i do? jus forget about it? dont really deserve an apology? help.. sorry for such a damn long entry!! lol! hope i gets replies =(

edit--

i guess i think about it sometimes because my dad is just like him. except for the hitting thing. he always makes me feel like shit.

[toodlepops.]

you are such a strong person to go through all of that sh*t. i think you should go tell a parent or someone that your ex hitted you and stuff. yea, some people a re just losers and deserve to have a girlfriend. (maybe your ex needs help) im glad you found a good person to be with now. =]